Out of five hanging baskets, three have nests. Out of the three nests, two have eggs. And of the two with eggs, one has a brand new baby--probably less than a day old.

I find birds repellant, and had to fight the urge to fling the nests (eggs and babies and all) as far away as possible.

I marshaled that impulse however and instead shared a special moment with J. He was fascinated and had many questions--all of which were whispered so that the baby bird could sleep.

I didn't even explain to him my theory of how birds would attack and eat us if they were big enough, and that if you look into their beady, dead eyes that you can feel their malice.

My reticence to shatter J's innocence probably just plays into their master plan.

We're getting ready to host a Memorial Day BBQ dinner with our dear friends this afternoon. Not so long ago, I would have rolled out of bed at noon, lingered over lunch, and then spent an hour getting ready for the BBQ.

Not so much anymore.

Our days begin a little earlier, and today we've had time to break out the new dehydrator (our first batch of dried strawberries should be done around 5pm), make strawberry balsamic jam, build a blanket fort, wash the dining room chair slipcovers, harvest and chop some dill, and work on the backyard water leak.

It's now just after 3pm and the kids are presumably sleeping upstairs, having taken down the blanket fort, cleaned up an extraordinary mess of toys and books, and eaten a gigantic lunch (and proclaimed the strawberry jam delicious).

I was hoping for a nap myself, but Bill is having a bit of trouble soldering the new pipe fitting, and I'm being called on every ten minutes to turn on the outside water to check for leaks. I hope this next time is the charm, and that I can get a half hour to myself before tackling the BBQ details.

Tonight, I made enchiladas, with snap peas (from the farmers market), spanish rice and beans, and mangos. I thought it was great, but the kids mostly just ate the mango. Sigh...we'll try it again for lunch tomorrow and see if it gets a more favorable reception.

Maya spent 15 minutes looking for the piece of mango that S dropped from her plate. Poor girl -- she knew it was there, just couldn't quite figure it out. Gracie was pretty much oblivious to the entire event.

Did you know that Old MacDonald had a Dora? With a Dora-Dora here, and a Dora-Dora there?

I got her to sing me a couple of songs. Enjoy!

The weekend away was like a balm, and I came back ready for a fresh start. It seems that my pleasant and more relaxed attitude has broken the chain of J's misbehavior --> my exasperation --> J's punishment --> J's anxiety and additional acting out --> my anger/frustration --> J's stress and more misbehavior --> my crazy desperation.

Anyway, even though I've been single parenting this week because Bill is in Texas, we've actually had a really marvelous time. I've actually *enjoyed* my children -- how novel! S has been extra sweet and funny, and J has made it a point to be helpful and courteous and polite and thoughtful.

"I played very quietly downstairs and did not wake you up, because that is very polite."

"Ok, you can go to the bathroom now, and I'll just wait here outside the door in case you need anything."

"Do you like when I listen and make good choices? I will not even bite someone at school today!"

Ahh, good times. I hope they last.

This weekend, Bill and I dropped the kids and dogs off with his parents and escaped to my favorite small town of them all: Staunton, Virginia. It was the first time that Bill and I have been away from the kids together, and it was a-ma-zing.

During foster care training, the instructors hammer home how important it is to take time away from the kids. As exhausting and draining as it is to be around your own kids, they say, when you add in all the stress and anxiety and frustration that comes with parenting someone else's kids -- well, it's a recipe for disaster.

Even though it was only 36 hours away from our "real life" we had such a great time. We went to the Blackfriar Playhouse, where we had fantastic seats -- right on the stage and next to a CRAZY-ENTHUSIASTIC drama teacher who hooted and hollered and exclaimed with joy at each worthy moment. We stayed less than a block from the main street, on the top level of a converted historic mansion -- complete with rooftop deck and complimentary bottle of wine. We ate at the marvelous Zynodoa (head chef hails from the Inn at Little Washington), where they change the menu every day based on the local produce and season. We slept for an obscene amount of time on Saturday afternoon, and lingered in the coffee shop on the corner -- where I discovered the joys of lavender pink lemonade (which I plan to recreate at home this summer). We even got donuts for breakfast -- why not splurge when there are no kids picking up bad eating habits?

I was even happy to pick up the kids and squeeze S's chubby little cheeks and admire the absolutely unrecognizable drawings that J churns out like a machine. Coming back home, I am re-inspired to be a good parent. And also to get away next month for another weekend escape. I have a feeling that my near-and-dear family will soon be avoiding my phone calls, lest they be called upon to babysit.

Thankfully, I needn't have stressed about it. Love abounds on all sides.

We're still trying to figure out good routines with the kids. Bill generally gets them ready in the morning and takes them to school, which means that I can sleep in (except for 5 minutes where I am blearily awakened to put S's hair in pigtails). Then I'm usually responsible for picking them up in the afternoon at 3pm when preschool lets out, and keeping them entertained until Bill gets home and we share dinner duties.

It seems like we're running around, totally disorganized most of the time. S is always in the wrong shoes on PE day, and J ends up with non-school approved clothes in his backpack. I have a feeling that Bill is frazzled by the time he drops them off in the morning, and I'm not at my best at 3:30pm each afternoon when I have to face the reality that I haven't gotten enough work done for the day and will be spending another late night trying to catch up after the kids are in bed.

As the "family" newness wears off, I'm feeling pressure to figure out the routine thing. Would J have less anxiety if there was more structured activity in the afternoon? Or does he need unstructured time to get his crazy energy out? Would he benefit from more one-on-one time with me or Bill, and if so, how would we arrange that with S--who, at two years old, can't really be left to play totally unattended?

In our first weekend away from the kids together, I've been basking in the ability NOT to have a schedule -- to take a nap immediately after lunch and wake up just in time for dinner. To start a move at 10pm because we don't need to worry about being woken up by a hungry 5-year old at 6:30am the next morning.

I'm also inspired (from the comfortable distance of 36 hours before I'll be home again in charge of the kids) to think through some better routines for when we're all back together. One easy change would be to institute an evening "preparation" period. The kids can pick out their clothes and get their bags ready for school. Bill can make his lunch, and we can put anything special in the car overnight so that it doesn't get forgotten by the front door in the rush to get everyone out of the house each morning.

The afternoon is a little tougher. Should I have an afternoon activity planned? Make them go outside and play in the backyard for 30 minutes? Should they bathe BEFORE dinner, to give us a little more breathing room for the evening routine? We've recently eliminated snack time (because they weren't hungry for dinner at 5pm), so there is a hole I need to fill. Hmm, I'll need to think on this a little.

In a desperate attempt not to think about work, or the kids legal case, or the foster care system, or the clusterf*** that is the local elementary school's approach to early intervention screening, or the windows that need to be replaced, or my lack of any fun shoes...

Well, I've been sewing. These are a few of the things that I whipped up over the weekend.

I need some new projects, since if someone doesn't stop me I'll just continue to make zippered pouches until everything in my home is ensconsed in a cheerfully pattered (with coordinated lining) bag.

Thank goodness for Pinterest, and my Sewing Ideas board. Next up -- fabric headbands.

Oh, I have so many thoughts and feelings about this Mothers Day. But none of them will marshall themselves into a coherent stream of narrative.

So instead let me just say that there is nothing sweeter in my house tonight than this little plaster handprint.