Desperately Seeking Dr. Susan (OB-GYN, RE)

Bill and I are at the stage where we need to see a fertility specialist, since apparently sex alone isn’t going to get the job done.  (I knew that sex was supposed to just be for fun, and not for a larger purpose in life!)  

I have spent weeks been pouring over the internet, looking at various infertility centers in our region, examining their treatment options and success rates, and searching out reviews from past patients.  I’ve decided on the treatment option that I like best, but at this point I still haven’t called to make an appointment.

Bill, however, went to our healthcare provider’s website, found the fertility specialists (3) that were listed, and chose the one that was closest to us.  He called and made an appointment, and there we were the next week for an initial consultation.

Yay for Bill, taking charge.  And yay for me, having a husband that figures all of these things out.  But boo to the doctor that we saw.  He was horrid.  He didn’t look at the ream of paperwork I had filled out, lectured us on stuff that we already knew, dismissed out-of-hand the diagnosis of PCOS (which two other doctors have confirmed), and wrapped up by saying “here’s the tests you need, my nurse will give you the paperwork, see you in three weeks”.

I’ve since come to find out that people loathe his bedside manner, but that he gets the job done.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t offer the “job” that I want, and my understanding is that he has one specific treatment option that he pushes and isn’t very tolerant of questions. 

On the other hand, the place that I want to go that DOES offer the treatment I want gets similar reviews.  Namely: effective doctor that is an asshole.  Unless you manage to have a baby, in which case all is forgiven and the reviews are all sunshine and roses.

The third option is the most well known, which apparently has good success rates but is also the biggest.  General consensus: you are treated like a cow at a factory farm.  Plus, it’s really far away when you think about having to go in for daily monitoring.

All of that is to say that there doesn’t look like a clear winner.  Should I go with the guy who raises my hackles at the mere thought of his offhand “and you should lose some weight too”?  Or should I go to the other local place that offers the treatment that I want (but have no medical evidence that will work – or is even appropriate for me?).  Or should we try the factory farm where people are nice but you don’t get any individual attention?

I swear, if I ever decide to switch careers, I’m going into fertility counseling.  Based on the reviews I’ve seen, people would happily pay more for an option that offered great clinical results AND a nice bedside manner.

Comments

[Mom]

This can't really be the only choices?!? What a bummer. Can your attitude affect the outcome? Doesn't look like you could have a good attitude at any of the places. Want your mom to call and talk to them? :>)

[Tory]

I just went with the Big Guys, who happened to be the most convenient as well. It helped a lot for those 6am monitoring visits. My doctor was . . . not exactly an asshole, just very set in his ways and not at all interested in listening to anything I had to say or hearing about what I thought the problem was. I decided early on just to let him do his thing, and of course am happy with the results :) But for baby #2, I'm going to be in a situation more like yours - I actually have some opinions about my treatment, and I'm already dreading trying to find a doctor that is actually willing to listen and work with me.

Are you sure that the factory farm place really is the way you imagine it? I got very personal care in the Baltimore office, but I think each location is different.

Ultimately, unless finances are a major factor I would go with the place that will do the treatment you want. If it doesn't work you can always switch and led the mother-of-all-god-complex-REs do what they want.