Write Again Soon

A random collection of how things are going.   Some good, some bad, some just random.

The Bad

#1 Bad Thing - Over the last couple of months I've been having nightmares where Bill dies in a sudden and unexpected way.*  I wake up in a cold sweat and spend the next hour trying to get back to sleep.  In trying to deal with the dreams, I’ve attempted everything.   I've rationally explained to myself that it's highly unlikely that Bill will just up and die on me.  I've gone the opposite route, too, exploring what it would be like to lose him.  Yes it would be terrible and I would be grief-stricken, but I am competent and could make it through eventually.  I play out the scenario in my head: sleeping alone and crying into my pillow, living in our big house alone with the cats and dogs, trying to work through it all, one day waking up to realize that the grief had somewhat abated, buying a sailboat and visiting the Caribbean with the dogs at the prow, yet always stoically remaining aloof from love.  Perhaps in my twilight years I would write a touching memoir of my life as a widow, etc. etc. etc.  I've worked up quite the poignant montage in my head.  Regardless, it’s not working and the nightmares are recurring at least once a week.  Ugh.

* To date I have not murdered him in my dreams, just in case you were wondering.

#2 Bad Thing - I got a call from my doctor yesterday informing me that the ultrasound I had a few weeks ago revealed a 7 mm nodule on my thyroid.  I’ll need to go in for a fine needle aspiration (where they take a few cells from the nodule to biopsy) once I’m back in town.  It’s a simple outpatient procedure and I’ll get some local anesthesia, so that’s good.  It’s also good that 90% of the time these nodules are benign, and the 10% that are malignant are usually highly treatable.  But, quite frankly, I’m getting tired of having major things be potentially wrong every time I go to the doctor.

The Good

#1 Good Thing - I’m in Austin, Texas this week and it rocks.  I’m staying at this ultra-hip hotel that just screams boutique cool.  There are dozens of amazing little restaurants, vintage shops, and interesting things to see within a few blocks, and despite my initial fears, eating vegan in Texas isn’t proving to be impossible.  Tonight I had an amazing Japanese stir fry with udon noodles, red bell peppers, cremini mushrooms, scallions, and a sesame-miso sauce.  Mmmm.

#2 Good Thing - We’re doing our taxes this weekend!  I know, most people probably wouldn’t categorize taxes in the “things that are great” category, but I love getting it done and out of the way as early in the year as possible.  Bill has always done his taxes on paper (!!) so I’m excited to bring him into this century by introducing him to TurboTax.  And I think we’re getting enough money back to cover the upfront costs of solar panels for our house, which is another big item of excitement.

#3 Good Thing - Bill and I have date night this Saturday and we're going to see a play.  Live theater is one of my favorite things--I can only think of a couple of plays that I haven't enjoyed.  I haven't been to the theater in ages--probably since I moved in with Bill--and I'm excited to sample our local group of players.  I'm not at all familiar with the one we're going to see (called The Violet Hour), but it contains "adult themes", which I'm sure to enjoy.

The Random

#1 (and only) Random Thing - My friend Sara sent me a link to this crazy dog collar that take photos throughout the day so that you can see what your dog does when you’re away from the house.  I was intrigued, but then realized that if we put it on Maya or Gracie, we’d mostly just see the jaws of the other dog as they wrestled.  Or pure black as they cuddled up next to each other.  Or pure black because there is no light in the digestive system of a dog that has swallowed a piece of new technology.