February 06, 2008
Home Away from Home
I've been having terrible nightmares lately, and then last night I somehow managed to stay up until the sun came up, and so you might understand, dear reader, why I was not at my best when traveling down to Key West today. When I arrived at the airport at 7 a.m., the wheel fell of my suitcase and when I stopped to retrieve it from the floor I got grease all over my hands. Then my flight was delayed, and there was a crying baby next to me, and when we finally boarded I found myself on a three hour flight in the middle seat between two grumpy people.
Arriving in Miami for my two hour layover still fuzzy headed from lack of sleep, I met a potential colleague who somehow managed to slip past airport security for a quick meet-and-greet before I hopped my next flight. Of course, being in a daze and generally unfamiliar with anything she was talking about (every other word was an acronym, squeezed between name-dropped local politicians and policy makers), the meeting was not so productive and I was happy to escape with my life and a Starbucks coffee.
The flight down to Key West was mercifully brief and I was relieved to step off the plane into sunny weather and the waiting car of my Big Idea escort for the week. I was whisked off to a late lunch, where I met other Big Idea people (again, tiredness and hunger didn't make me particularly well suited for this encounter), and then later dropped off at my home away from home.
Here is where the story turns not-so-angst-y, since I'm being put up in the “corporate apartment” of a local non-profit, and it turns out to be more like a private cottage. It's a studio apartment with wireless internet but no kitchen (note to self, buy an apple for breakfast), and a fenced-in hot tub* for my own private use. Once the sun goes down, I plan to enjoy it sans bathing suit. Just because I can.
I'm only a block away from the main drag of Duval Street, and I'm sure that later in the week I will want to take advantage of the local festivities. For now though, I'm just hoping to make it through the next couple of days alive and with a modicum of sanity.
Just like at home, each time I think there is room for a quick 20 minute nap, I recall that rescheduled Big Idea teleconference, or that email I promised to send, or that online meeting we need to prepare for the big proposal pitch tomorrow morning. This lovely cottage does, indeed, feel like a home away from home. Except I just got bit by a mosquito.
* Update:It's actually more of a small swimming pool: deep enough to need to tread water *for real* and with jets on one side that propel you towards the stairs unless you are willing to swim against the tide. Which I was (during the 15 minute period I created by ducking out of one meeting early and rescheduling another one for tomorrow).
Posted by madchen at 06:24 PM | Comments (0)December 03, 2007
In Sickness and Health
I am back from beyond the Arctic Circle, and instead of feeling accomplished and adventurous (did I mention I saw loads and loads of caribou?) I am in the throes of my very of Arctic souvenir--a terrible head cold.
Up until this point, one of the best things about the Big Idea was that most of my work was done from the comfort of my own home. And since my own home contains only my own germs, I rarely get sick. Well, apparently the guy to my left, hacking and sneezing without covering his mouth for the entire six hour flight back from our winter wonderland, did not get the "I don't like your germs" memo. And now I'm having fun experimenting with Dayquil and Nyquil. How many combinations can we make in a 24 hour period? I'll keep you updated.
It's especially irritating to be sick this week, since I should be basking in the glow of my new world-famous profile. You see, dear reader, while I was gone last week, a major newspaper did a story on The Big Idea. It ran on Monday and it wasn't until Thursday that I was able to get back into cell phone range and glory in the effects of notoriety. While the details of it must remain under wraps to protect and segregate my orgy-ridden personal life (it was just once, okay?) with The Big Idea, I assure you that the latest developments are VERY exciting.
That said, how frustrating is it to tape a television segment with a head cold? I'm glad you asked! Aside from the fear of acting like a Dayquil-affected idiot, and trying not to sneeze every three seconds, it's not too bad. I'll wait for the B-roll to determine whether my nose looks absurdly raw to make my final decision.
So, dear reader, I am now officially bumping Comcast down to #2 on the Things I Hate list. It now reads:
Things I Hate
1. Being sick
2. Comcast
3. Air travel delays and cancellations
4. Stepping in pee
Update your records accordingly.
Posted by madchen at 09:39 PM | Comments (3)November 11, 2007
Realizations
One – Mr. Amazing is not so amazing after all. Actually, he probably is and I'm just too warped to appreciate it. Regardless of whether he was too clingy or I am afraid of emotional intimacy, in the end it was not a match. What's weird is that I'm pretty sure I could have gotten him to propose by now, if I'd just put in a little effort. Which I was apparently unwilling to do.
Two – I am dating Janie. I pick her up, take her out for a meal and a movie, and then drop her back off at home. If I'm lucky, I get a kiss goodnight.
Three – I am insane. Compare for instance, insanity's definition "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome" to my recent foray into listening to my iPod while in the bathtub and being surprised when the earphones fell into the water.
Four – When I think about the Big Idea's long-term growth opportunities, I would rather be a manager than a worker bee. Right now I am doing both parts, and it's fabulous to realize that there actually *is* a path forward that doesn't necessarily involve me working 20 hours a day as the president, analyst, and janitor.
Five – Getting a housekeeper is money well spent.
November 03, 2007
Manifest Destiny
When I got off the plane in San Diego yesterday, I was filled with a wave of nostalgia. There was the gate where I almost missed my flight back to grad school after the love of my life broke my heart. There was the airport hallway where I first saw Janie when she was just two months old and still a bit purple and wrinkly. There was Grape Street where that cool architectural salvage store still is. There was the Coronado bridge, and there was the restaurant where I was almost proposed to. There is the beach where the Navy SEALS run around doing their Navy SEAL thing. There is the sunshine that always makes me feel happy.
I lived in San Diego for just under a year, in between college and graduate school. I was ridiculously young--just 20--and I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I had a liberal arts degree but no skills, and I ended up working as a random office person at a small local company whose product I still am unclear about. I didn't really have any local friends outside of the social circle acquired through my boyfriend (the aforementioned love of my life). I knew I didn't want to be in the Pacific Northwest anymore, missed my friends in DC, but had nothing pulling me back in that direction. When I was offered a chance for a free ride to grad school back East, I jumped at it. That was nine years ago, and aside from visiting my family I few times immediately afterwards, I hadn't been back to San Diego since.
It didn't really occur to me when I booked this trip that I would be coming back to a place with deep personal significance. Thus I was surprised to feel bursts of emotion—ranging from general amusement to bittersweet longing and throbbing anger—at every turn. And so for the last 24 hours I have been caught up in remembering the person that I was back then. I remember her as being much nicer, more open, and more generous with her feelings. But she was also aimless, restless, and dramatic. In short, she was a girl who graduated from college too early, when she should have stuck around another two years and grown up a bit.
Not that I regret the choices I made (or allowed to be made for me). After all, the chances that life would turn out this way—having a thriving business in a cutting-edge field—were so astronomically small that it could only have happened through the combination of all those small decisions along the way. I think I probably would have stayed close to my family, and stayed connected with my friends—but the career part of my life was a total fluke and I have to be grateful that it all spun out the way that it did.
All of this history makes it very strange to be here—at a conference on growing a small business—because it's forcing me to not just be retrospective in my ponderings, but also to look forward. For the last six months I've been struggling with the Big Idea and where I see it going. For the first two years, I just wanted to see if I could do it and not starve (or live off of my ever-patient parents). And now that I've achieved those milestones of industry credibility, financial solvency, and personal respect...well, I'm just not quite sure what the next step is. But being at this conference, and being challenged with some great information and thought-provoking questions, the way forward is becoming a little clearer.
At least on the career front. When I look back at what made my life meaningful when I lived here (being totally and completely in love with someone), the way forward looks pretty empty. As much as I have grown in the past nine years, I think my capacity for true intimacy has shrunk. And if I'm honest about where I'm putting my time and energy these days, it's not in the “emotional development” arena.
Of course, when I am rich and successful and sitting on my yacht in the San Diego sunshine, I might not care. And if you promise not to talk about your feelings, I might invite you along.
Posted by madchen at 12:11 AM | Comments (0)June 07, 2007
Operation Bigger Idea
I'm having an amazing time out here in Vancouver this week. (Did I say that I was in Vancouver? Because I am.) The work with my client is going really well and even though it turned out to be WAY more work than we anticipated, I think there is a reasonable shot of getting it mostly completed by the time I leave on Saturday.
I'm also really enjoying my Big Idea summer interns who have turned out to be firecrackers. I can't give them assignments fast enough and my clients are amazed at my ability to turnaround projects in record time. I think I might even be figuring out how to be a good manager--although I suppose that is up for debate.
All of this activity makes me think that I might like to be more of a typical CEO, managing the strategic direction of the Big Idea, rather than the worker bee actually doing the day-to-day tasks that for the last two years have completely consumed me.
As I sit here, working late into the evening, I would like to believe that this is the start of a new phase of the Big Idea, one with long term potential to develop into a Bigger Idea. A Bigger Idea that will make me rich. Or at least, a Bigger Idea that will make me enough money to afford a really fancy desk chair.
Posted by madchen at 08:43 PM | Comments (1)March 20, 2007
Sunny Morning
The nature of the Big Idea is that I'm rarely out of the house before noon. In fact, I'm rarely out of my pajamas before noon. Since I routinely work until 1 or 2 in the morning and then finish off the night with an hour or so of reading, I usually find myself stumbling out of bed around 9 a.m., to begin the whole cycle of Big Idea-ing all over again. In general, it fits well with my night owl habits, and since I can largely set my own schedule, I am rarely interrupted with an early morning meeting.
On the other hand, the rare mornings when I am up early (and by "early", I mean 8 a.m.) are a treat, espcecially when the air outside is mild and the smog is at a minimum. Sitting in a coffe shop, reading through the 40+ internship applications I've received, and enjoying the free wireless internet access--it all makes me think that I might have a chance at Big Idea success AND sanity. Dare I dream so big?
Incidentally, I highly recommend to all of you, dear readers, that you get an intern. It's amazing what these poor kids will do for some experience on their resume.
Posted by madchen at 11:01 AM | Comments (0)March 19, 2007
When the Shit Hits the Fan...
...it ain't pretty.
I spent this past weekend with Mr. Pilot, a topic that I will delicately avoid from now on because of aforementioned sensitivity on his part. The point is that instead of working my normal 15-20 hours over the weekend, I spent it in Irish pubs, long car rides, and then more drinking (and recovering) in the boondocks of Virginia. This is becoming an alarming habit. In my rush to seize every opportunity for a social life, I have been neglecting the Big Idea. And now it's coming back to haunt me.
It wasn't so bad when I blew it off a couple weeks ago for an impromptu day of Friday fun. I work so hard, for so many hours, every single goddamned day that occasionally it seems like a wise "pressure valve" sort of thing to do every once in a while. But then that day turned into a long weekend of fun. And instead of catching up at night (I usually work until about midnight), I have been enjoying regular late-night phone calls and instant messenging, thus putting me even further behind.
It's been coming to a head for the last three weeks, but now I'm in real trouble. I have a major project coming due at the end of next week, plus my regular 12-hour workload, plus new summer interns to hire, plus a contract renegotiation, plus a presentation the DAY AFTER TOMORROW that I have not even begun. And unlike most workshops that I can usually wing, people have paid a LOT of money to hear my thoughts on this topic, and I'm worried that I'm going to fall flat on my face. Not good AT ALL.
That said, have I cancelled plans for next weekend? Dear reader, I have not. I am still planning on attending a lecture completely unrelated to the Big Idea on Friday afternoon, then enjoying Snow Patrol in concert on Friday night. I will follow that up with babysitting Ms. Janie on Saturday, and then probably an overnight trip on Sunday night--also unrelated to the Big Idea. Squeeze in another 300 pages of The Historian (fabulous, by the way) before my book club meeting on the 27th and I might have to forgo sleep altogether.
The silver lining, as I was mentioning to Ms. Red earlier tonight, is that I've finally figured out just exactly how much time and energy and work I can squeeze into a 24 hour period, and just exactly when my body and brain will give out. Now that I know I will choose to prioritize my social life (at least for now), I should reasonably be able to plan April better. If I can just get through the rest of March with an intact social circle and a business in the black.
Posted by madchen at 12:55 AM | Comments (0)February 23, 2007
Back in Black
I'm back from a whirlwind trip to Cleveland, a bit more bedgraggled and a bit smarter.
Lesson #1: When "packing light" and bringing only one pair of shoes for an overnight business trip, do NOT choose the 4 inch stilletto heels. No matter how great they look, you will regret your decision before you even make it through airport security. By the third hour, every step will be agony, and you will have to fight to keep up with the men striding down the hallway in their damn loafers.
Lesson #2: Always opt for the upgrade to the "concierge floor". For just $10 more, you get an open bar happy hour, free wireless internet, upgraded bath products, and a bathtub big enough for two.
From a business perspective, the trip was GREAT. The client was impressed, they are interested in doing follow-up work, and my feet are slowly recovering. I also returned to find that my first large 6-month Big Idea investment had broken even after just two months--which means that it's all profits from here on out. Roll out the bling, baby, here I come.
Posted by madchen at 12:19 PM | Comments (2)February 19, 2007
Growing Pains
I gave up boys this weekend for some fun with the girls. And work--lots and lots of work. Work that I shouldn't have to be doing but--lo and behold--I'm stuck doing because my Big Idea partner/consultant has disappeared. I have never been so close to firing someone before*, and the temptation is growing with every moment that passes.
So it's nearly 1 a.m. and I'm finally finished with my Big Idea work for the evening, having taken off a couple hours to see the Maryland vs. Duke game with Ms. ADA and friends. My workshop for tomorrow is ready to go, and I'm *almost* prepared for my business trip on Tuesday. Yes, dear reader, I'm headed off to Cleveland. Just feel the excitement wafting off the Wikipedia description:
Cleveland is the county seat of Cuyahoga County, the most populous county in the U.S. state of Ohio. The municipality is located in northeastern Ohio on the southern shore of Lake Erie, approximately 60 miles (100 km) west of the Pennsylvania border. It was founded in 1796 near the mouth of the Cuyahoga River, and became a manufacturing center owing to its location at the head of numerous canals and railroad lines. With the decline of heavy manufacturing, Cleveland's businesses have diversified into the service economy, including the financial services, insurance, and healthcare sectors.
Anyway, it's just an overnight trip, but I'm excited to have this project over and done with (see first paragraph for reason why). At that point, I'll have time to freak out about all other Big Idea projects waiting in the wings.
* Probably because I've never had the authority to fire someone before.
Posted by madchen at 12:37 AM | Comments (1)February 07, 2007
Run Down
I have to suspect that a good portion of my productivity yesterday can be attributed directly to the chocolate-covered espresso beans I ate throughout the day. It certainly explains why I was still awake (with toes nervously wiggling) at 1 a.m.
Unfortunately, that rollercoaster ended with a rather abrupt stop (oh, chocolate-covered espresso beans, how I miss ye!) and today I've been losing steam with every passing minute. I started off well enough with a 9 a.m. meeting at a local coffee shop, where I was interviewed by an MBA student for his entrepreneurship class. It was flattering, since he chose me as someone he "would like to emulate" and helpful, since he'll be interviewing me about my business growth plan several times over the course of the semester. Since I've been doing a lot of thinking about the Big Idea, it's a good chance to see if the thoughts in my head can be rationally translated into words. so far, so good.
This afternoon, though, was a different story. While I have been extremely productive, it's been like walking through the deep end of a swimming pool. Instead of being able to effectively multitask, mostly I just want to sit and stare off into the pretty snow.
...mmm...pretty snow...
Anyway, I had grand plans for today but it was not to be. Yes, I've been working diligently since 8 a.m., but no, my to-do list hasn't seemed to shrink in the slightest. Looks like I'll be working late into the evening again.
(Incidentally, for those keeping track of my love life, I have a date on Friday with a new boy that I met this past weekend. I also talked to Mr. Pilot last night. I wanted to kill him by the time it was over, but I do believe we have agreed to meet up sometime in the next week or two to see if it's worth pursuing a casual relationship. I'm girding my loins (hee, hee) in preparation for the discussion about being "friends with benefits".)
Posted by madchen at 04:54 PM | Comments (1)November 19, 2006
To China and Back Again
Days 5 and 6 in China were largely uneventful. I spent Wednesday catching up on Big Idea work (several hours of it that was subsequently eaten by my laptop never to return again), visiting the offices of the company that hired me to do the Shanghai workshop, and a visit to the hustle-and-bustle of The South Bund Soft Spinning Market. TSBSSM is a coglomeration of fabric sellers that hock their wares in an overwhelming wave of free-market enterprise. You can have any kind of fabric imaginable, and their tailors are only too happy to make you a Chanel knock-off overnight for the low, low price of $60 for a two piece suit. It was like heaven.
I got a Chinese silk jacket made, along with a 60's inspired cashmere coat. The suit I had made was less successful (apparently I wasn't meant to wear Chanel--real or fake) and I declined to accept the finished product. On the other hand, I did pick up several lovely Chinese silk purses (gifts for two of my lovely friends) to go with the tea I had previously purchsed (gifts for three of my other lovely friends).
Nothing else really merits mentioning about the trip, other than a VERY scary 20 minutes when the taxi dropped me off 1/2 mile from TSBSSM on Thursday with no futher directions about how to get there. It turns out that the Chinese characters written down for me (to give to the taxi driver, since they don't speak a word of English) had just the *area* of TSBSSM, not the exact address. So while the taxi on Wednesday knew where it was from previous experience, the taxi driver on Thursday just took me to the general area (which was comprised of empty streets and cold, dirty office buildings, and looked NOTHING like the actual location I had visited the previous day) and dropped me off in the pouring rain. I ended up triangulating my way to TSBSSM through use of an elaborate game of charades at three separate cigarette-stand stalls. Highly amusing, now that I have some space, but it was simultaneously terrifying (I was completely, COMPLETELY out of my element) and irritating (I was forced to wear my wet clothes the rest of the day, which included a 20-hour flight plan back to D.C.).
Anyway, I'm back home now and fighting jet lag. Somehow, it's always more difficult for me coming back home--I suspect because it's not as exciting to be back in my room, as opposed to a bright new city ripe for exploring.
I've spend a significant amount of time catching up on the Big Idea, and even managed to spend Friday night with good friends, saying goodbye to one of our group who headed off to Iraq this morning. On Saturday, I finally got around to unpacking my suitcase and cleaning up my room with the help of Janie, who insisted that *she* be allowed to sweep up the cat litter tracked around the hardwood floors. What can I say? She's been trained well.
One unexpected development was an impromptu date with Mr. Bethesda on Saturday. Good times were had by all, let me assure you. And in an even MORE strange development, he's coming over for Thanksgiving dinner. Rest assured, it's more of a "he doesn't have any other place to go" thing than a "oh, it might be serious!" thing. But still.
And...I have tentative plans with two boys (let's call them Mr. Doctor--he's actually a Ph.D., but I like to call him Doctor anyway--and Mr. Pilot, who's name is self-explanatory). I went out with these gentlemen the week before I left for Shanghai (on separate dates, just so we're clear) and both went surprisingly well. So now there are 3.5 boys (Mr. FWB is the .5 here) being juggled. Thank goodness they have VERY different names, since I fear calling one by the other's name. A delightful problem to have, I admit.
Posted by madchen at 09:04 PM | Comments (2)November 14, 2006
China--Day Four**
**Alternative title: Disillusionment
I just finished the second (and final) day of the Big Idea workshop. After all the work I put into it, and all the stress associated with the project, and all the anticipation of coming to Shanghai, and all the tension about whether or not I could perform up to everyone's standards, I feel like I might have a nervous breakdown.
It's all over now, and I'm drained, exhausted, and perhaps on the verge of tears. Overall I think it went well, and I think there is a fair chance that the company will invite me back for another round in the spring. And in general, the evalutation forms were complimentary--but certainly not outstanding. In fact, there was one participant who even marked "disagree" on the item "workshop leader is knowledgable about the subject matter". And another person marked "disagree" on the item "workshop leader has an effective presenation style". Harumph. It's those comments that make the 90% of the favorable replies feel like cheap pity scores, when I know that I did a damn fine job considering all the factors at play.
I remember feeling the same way after finishing up teaching a class while I was in grad school. There was such a feeling of relief when the semester was over, and yet knowing that the comments would inevitably include some poor scores (after all, I am not a natural teacher) made me feel like the whole thing was a waste of my time (and everyone else's). In this case, however, I was MUCH better prepared, and I know deep down that some of the criticism is really a reflection of the company who hired me (and who told me how to approach the topic) and not me. But right now it's a very lonely feeling, and I'm tempted to take the rest of the evening and just feel sorry for myself.
On the other hand, I'm meeting the a representative from the company for dinner in 20 minutes, so perhaps I better cram all my self pity into the next 15 minutes, so I have 5 minutes to recover and put on a fresh coat of make-up before the evening meal. (Incidentally, I will be going on a strict diet when I return--I have been stuffed full of delicious Chinese fare every 20 minutes by various hospitable guests, and it is definitely showing.)
I'm sure the payment (in cash!) will help me feel better about myself. And if that doesn't work, I suppose I can always go downstairs to the spa for another round of breast massage.
Update: It's true, having thousands of dollars in your purse DOES make a person feel better! And the host of the workshop was very complimentary about my role as a workshop leader. So all is well again, and I think I may take the rest of the night off from the Big Idea and try to get back on track with my NaNoWriMo project--which is WOEFULLY out of date.
Posted by madchen at 04:28 AM | Comments (0)October 18, 2006
Chipper
I have just purchased my tickets to China. I'll only be there for 5 nights, but I plan to make the most of it--especially since I have gotten signs that I may be back in December for a repeat performance of the Big Idea Workshop.
So, all my dear readers who've traveled to China--what's the best thing to do in Shanghai? (We'll save the rest of the country for another trip...)
Yippee!
Posted by madchen at 01:56 AM | Comments (1)August 22, 2006
Bang Up Job
We lost our softball game tonight in a heartbreaker. We're the number one team in our league, playing the number one team in the other league. We were close right up to the seventh inning, when two of our players slammed into each other in the outfield, drawing spurts of blood from both guys, a couple loose teeth, and a sprained ankle. Lucky for us, the other team was a bunch of EMT's who were able to assess the situation quickly, rule out a concussion, and direct everyone to the emergency room for clean-up. I breathed a sigh of relief and came back home to prepare for my trip.
I've been doing a lot of Big Idea thinking lately. I've been in business for a year now, and while I'm not exactly making money hand over fist, I'm at least solvent (albeit living with my family) and feel like I'm making a difference. But moving forward, that's not going to be enough. Looking to the next 18 months and beyond, I have some hard questions to ponder...How do I measure success? How will I know if I'm on the right track? How will I *know* that I've made the right decision to go out on my own?
Some criteria for consideration:
1. What is an appropriate salary to aim for? Setting aside what's realistic for the next 12 months (and the very, very sad reality of the last 12 months's income), how much would I have to make in order to feel secure? Working backward and taking into account my business overhead, profits for reinvestment, and other necessities, how much would I need to make in sales to make that salary a reality? (Salary answer: $70,000, Sales answer: $100,000)
2. How many clients should I work with over the next year? This is a bigger question than it seems--since I'm at a crossroads with the Big Idea. Personally, I would prefer to work with clients on short-term projects of 2-3 months, with the option to do follow-up projects every year. That format requires a LOT of business development--especially at first--and "biz dev" isn't exactly my passion. On the other hand, I'm not keen on going after the really big clients for lots of money and long-term projects. For one thing, I don't have the necessary skills for in-depth Big Idea services, and if my previous work is any indication, trying to do something I'm not passionate about is a bad, bad idea. So that leaves me with the question: how many clients should I aim for in the next year? (Client Answer: 3 small clients (1-3 month projects), 2 big clients (3+ month projects))
3. How much time should I work every week? Here comes the work/life balance issue...I think that I need a more consistent schedule, both for the Big Idea and for my own sanity. While obviously there are times when I'll have unexpected 80-hour weeks (or the opposite), a better, more rigorous schedule will definitely help me get more done *and* still manage to have a social life. So what's the magic number? (Work/Life Balance: 50 hours/week--including evening networking activities)
Does that seem reasonable? Does it even make sense to set goals for something I have so little control over at the moment? These and other "boring to my readers" questions will be pondered in the next week. 'Cause I'm off to Seattle baby, where I'm sure many thoughtful and inspiring conversations will take place over potluck dinners, campfires, and on the hiking trail of Mt. Baker.
August 01, 2006
A Tale of Two Emails
Sigh--I spend an awful lot of my time these days helping people out with getting into The Big Idea Industry. Contrary to what my bank account says, it is an exceedingly popular career path--and I meet at least once or twice a week with prospective entrants to the field.
Up until now I've approached the whole thing as a "pay it forward" initiative. I help scores of young (and not so young) people who ultimately want to have my job, and, in return, I build up local credibility and get to keep an eye on the competition.
On the other hand, it's exhausting work--and time that might be better spend actually looking for paid work rather than giving advice to others about how to look for the abovementioned paid work. And sometimes it's downright ridiculous. Here's an example:
Email I got this morning (verbatim, except where indicated by brackets--misspelled words and other problems also noted in bold):
***
From: XXXXXXXXXX
Sent: Tuesday, August 01, 2006 11:23 AM
To: XXXXXXXXX
Subject: inernship
To whom it may concern
I read your website and am particularly interested in learning more about Corporare Security Consulting.
I have 4 years of work expereince in [The Big Idea Industry], working with leading consulting firms in developing markets and am applying for an internship.
Please see attached my resume.
Look forward to hearing from you.
Regards,
[Careless Person]
***
Now, I get at least a handful of these (and probably a dozen) every week--some poor student who wants an internship, or someone who has just finished their MBA and is looking for work. But it's never been quite this bad. At first I chalked it up to English-as-a-second-language issues, and so I replied:
***
Dear [Careless Person],
Thanks for your interest in [The Big Idea]. Unfortunately, I don't believe that you are a good fit with our organization. If I may offer a suggestion, I would recommend proof-reading your emails before sending them. We not a "Corporate Security Consulting" firm, and there are several spelling errors in your message.
Best wishes,
Ms. Write Again Soon
***
To the point, right? And yet, still kind. But does Careless Person let it drop? Oh no. Several hours later I get THIS response (again, verbatim except for the brackets and "bolded" errors):
***
Dear [Misspelled First Name],
Sorry for the errors. The mail was meant for another organization. However I had checked your website and thought that given my educational background and professional work experience as well as my keen interest in [The Big Idea Industry] and [Related Industry], my profile would match. Its unfortunate that you think otherwise. In future I shall keep your advise in mind. In case you can advise me about another organization where I might be a good fight I would be most grateful.
Thanking you,
Careless-and-Now-Downright-Irritating Person
***
Dude, spell my name correctly. And--even excusing the tricky English grammar (who among us hasn't screwed up the its/it's distinction), "a good fight"? Really now. So I replied:
***
Dear [Careless-and-Now-Downright-Irritating Person],
Thanks for your reply. It’s true that your background and interest are a good fit with [The Big Idea Industry] and [Related Industry] work—however, I remain concerned about your basic writing skills. Your reply below has several grammatical and spelling errors ([Misspelled Name], its/it’s, advise/advice, fight/fit), and attention to details like these are essential for demonstrating competency. No matter how experienced you are in [The Big Idea Industry], strong written English is a prerequisite for working with us—and I would suppose most other organizations. I highly recommend that you carefully proofread all emails search before sending them out.
Best wishes,
Ms. Write Again Soon
***
Sigh--we'll see if I get a further response. On the other hand, after meeting with another "pay it forward" guy this evening, I got this message:
***
Ms. [Write Again Soon],
I will take but a moment of your time to say thank you for meeting me last night. You are dynamite, and I left being ultra-refreshed on marketing oneself. I will go forward using EVERYTHING I can remember from our meeting.
You ROCK!!
Sincerely,
[Guy Who Gets It]
***
Now that's what I like to hear.
Posted by madchen at 09:57 PM | Comments (5)July 21, 2006
Inspired
For a couple of weeks now I've been in a Big Idea slump. In May and June it looked like there were some clients ready to come on board and actually pay for my services. I got carried away, planning on how I'd spend my newfound riches and planning for the inevitable crush of work that would follow.
Well, fast forward 6 weeks and things haven't gone exactly as planned. One, I'm being shafted on one of my only paid projects. Its not exactly anyone's fault, but suddenly I'm getting a much smaller cut of the proceeds that originally planned. Two other projects have been put on hold (although they may yet come through), and I found out that the Big Idea RFP Proposal did not make the shortlist of finalists.
Because I had been focusing on these projects, I found myself at a loss in terms of how to move forward. I don't have a strong marketing strategy and it's really holding me back. I've been plagued by questions: Where do I go from here? Is it realistic to cold call potential clients? How do I make my networking more productive?
Thankfully, last night I had a profound moment of inspiration. It's not quite like a huge lightbulb went on over my beautifully coiffed head (and by coiffed I mean uncombed hair piled into a messy ponytail). Its more like the vague ideas I wanted to pursue suddenly gelled into a plan of action.
Thus, today I am totally motivated to get to work on some new strategies for Big Idea success. The new challenge will be sustaining that momentum, particularly since the peace and quiet I have grown to love about the house in the middle of the afternoon has been shattered by the continuous presence of a 5 year old (although she did help me with grocery shopping yesterday).
Posted by madchen at 01:55 PM | Comments (1)June 23, 2006
No Time to Write...Too Busy Having Amazing Sex!
No, not really--just wishful thinking.
What I am busy with is the Big Idea. In the last 3 weeks it has become a monster breathing down my neck. Between conference calls and happy hour events, meetings with potential clients and afternoons with current collaborators, I am exhausted. I actually came home last night, plopped into bed at 10 p.m. and slept until the alarm went off at 8 a.m.--when I started it all over again. Is it possible that I'm becoming a real businessperson with a normal schedule? (Given that I was up until 3:30 a.m. the night before working on Big Idea updates, I think probably not.)
Anyway, I'm coming up to July 1st, my self-imposed deadline to decide the future of the Big Idea. According to my 2006 Resolutions:
I will devote myself to the Big Idea for the first six months of 2006. I will cultivate networks, clients, and projects—always looking for ways to be financially self-sufficient. I will make a point of attending relevant conferences, meeting with local organizational allies, and following up on all new contacts. In July 2006, I will reevaluate this decision; at that time I may choose to re-engage in a search for regular full-time employment.
So now it's almost July and time to start some critical thinking. I'm planning on taking July 1 & 2 to do some real planning in terms on finances, clients, partners, etc. I've already started a brainstorming list--it seems that I'm never out of ideas, just lacking ideas with a lucractive future. That said, there are one or two ideas that I think might really take off.
Long story short, no hot sex, just regular old entrepreneurship.
Posted by madchen at 12:18 PM | Comments (1)May 01, 2006
Picking Up
The last two weeks have given me hope that the Big Idea can sustain itself past June. As you'll recall, dear reader, the plan for 2006 was to pursue the Big Idea full-force until July 1, at which time I would re-evaluate the financial, social, and overall worth of pursuing it full time into the indefinite future. As June had approached, I'd been getting a little nervous--seeing a lot of new contacts and projects, but not necessarily any money coming in to the coffers. Well, although I won't be cashing in my first million (or even making enough to pay rent on a modest studio in Bethesda), there have been several small assignments that, at the very least, will help me break even. So hooray!
An unfortunate side effect of all that new work is a somewhat lacking blogging record. Now whenever I sit down at the computer I feel compelled to follow-up on emails, do some research, or clean up a draft report. And when I do find some time to goof off (I didn't work at all this weekend and it was sheer bliss), I quickly develop an addition. Thanks, mom.
All this is to say that I don't have anything particularly interesting to write about this morning. Ms. Janie is going to her very first dentist appointment at noon, and I'll be meeting everyone for a celebratory lunch afterwards. Subsequently, I expect to be back at my computer, slaving away over the Big Idea. Which (secretly), I still rather enjoy.
Posted by madchen at 09:50 AM | Comments (0)March 31, 2006
Upbeat News
Well, after my somewhat mixed impression of my presentation yesterday, several people who I thought were on the side of "who invited this girl?" have come up to me to say that they were thrilled with my presentation. Apparently, people were talking about it all evening, and it was one of the more thought-provoking sessions. And I was even complimented on my "strong presentation style" and remarks were made about "how brave you were to invite disagreement!". Clearly, they didn't see my knees knocking together and a rather warm, sweaty sheen on my body towards the end of the Q&A.
So now I'm much more cheerful about the whole thing. One of the organizers who sat in on my talk even asked me to come back next year!
Now, I'm sitting in the hotel lobby, trying to work on a writing project before its time to get back to the airport for my flight home. The weather here has been gorgeous and I have my fingers crossed that it will be just as sunny and warm in D.C. for this weekend.
Posted by madchen at 03:29 PM | Comments (3)March 30, 2006
Oops
I literally just got back to my hotel room after presenting my talk at a Big Idea conference. There were approximately 30 people in the room, and about 25 of them had blank looks on their faces the ENTIRE time. Afterwards (thinking that the conference organizers would probably ask for their money back), I was relieved to find that the remaining 5 people came up to me and said that I was terrific and wonderful and cutting-edge. Apparently, the whole "systems view of sustainability" (which I presented in a single slide) was about all most people could take—and that everything that naturally followed was too far out of their realm of acceptance.
Clearly I need to work on "knowing my audience:.
Oh well, at least 5 people liked it (and several suggested opportunities for partnerships with the Big Idea). Perhaps I can close the gap over dinner--or maybe should just surround myself with people who already "get it".
Posted by madchen at 04:33 PM | Comments (2)March 21, 2006
Busy, Busy
First, an update on Mr. Cool. So far, there has been an email exchange (ambiguous on his part, brazen on mine--well as brazen as "do you have plans for the weekend?" can be). There has been no telephone call, no plans for meeting again, and surprisingly little angst. I will follow Mr. Bad Apologies' suggestion and just jump him if I get the chance. And if I don't get the chance? Well, let's just say there are plenty of other fish in the internet dating pool just waiting to be caught.
And now, a review of the Big Idea. I have so many projects going that I can barely keep on top of it all. In a minor miracle, I actually have a tiny PAID job for next week--my first paycheck of 2006! (Another project has $$ committed, but not yet paid, so there's even more reason to be hopeful that the Big Idea will be successful.) The next few weeks are going to be crazy, with a trip to speak at a conference in North Carolina, a proposal to a local university due, a speaking engagement at a business roundtable, a gala networking event (tonight!), a conference to organize (I ache just thinking about the administrative details on that one), and a handful of other projects that I can't even think about.
Today is a typical one--where I'm committed to several different things and struggling to make them all fit. For instance, I've been working since 8 a.m. this morning on the Big Idea, but in an hour I will take Ms. Janie to a kid's movie shown by the D.C. Environmental Film Fesitval. After that, I'll drop her off with Grandma, hurry to Teaism for a Big Idea meeting with a potential contractor, then meander over to the abovementioned gala networking event. I have a vision of me stumbling home at 10 p.m. with a stack of business cards and not much to show for it--but perhaps I'll get lucky. So far, the DC networking scene has been very good to me.
And, of course, I'm trying to maintain a social life. I have calls set up with former classmates, coffee dates with former co-worker-now-friends, book club meetings, and tickets to cultural events. All within the next week. So it turns out that even if Mr. Cool wants to get together again, I might have to say no.
Who am I kidding? Certainly not you, dear reader. No, if he calls again, I'll happily drop pre-existing commitments on the off chance I can add "man love" to the roster of March 2006 activities.
UPDATE: And as proof of my multitasking skills, consider the following scenario: I just got off a call with a hotel that is a potential candidate to host a conference I'm organizing in June. Of course, he called just as I was getting out of the shower, so I was conducting the call in a towel. And by the end, Janie was doing my hair in what was later termed "a very lovely hair-do".
Posted by madchen at 11:13 AM | Comments (1)March 01, 2006
Ugh - Fundraising
Today I embarked on the frustrating, embarrassing, and ultimately (well, hopefully not) fruitless task of fundraising. One of the Big Idea projects I'm working on (with a partner company) is the establishment of an industry think tank. While this is not a huge profit-making endeavor, I do believe it's important and will add credibility to my other activities.
But, oh, how I hate asking for money.
With any luck, I'll win enough at girls' poker night to make up for any rejections waiting in my inbox upon my return.
Posted by madchen at 06:23 PM | Comments (0)January 13, 2006
Ex-Haus-Ted
Today has been a contrast of highs and low. Thank goodness I'm not suffering from hormonal influences, because the "normal" mood swings that today's activities have engendered is quite enough, thank you.
It all started when I left the house this morning for a 9:30 meeting with a Big Idea person. We were meeting at the local Starbucks, which made the bracingly early (at least for me) hour not so terrible. Of course when I got there I realized I didn't have my wallet.
This was disastrous for two reasons. First, it meant that I couldn't buy coffee for the guy, let alone myself. Mucho embarassing. Secondly, and most importantly, it meant that I didn't have the proper identification to get back to the house (guarded entrance and all) to get my wallet, which I needed even MORE for my lunch meeting with another Big Idea person.
Oh the woe.
I managed to finagle my way through the coffee meeting ("oh no, just water for me"), but while I was figuring out how to rescue my afternoon, I managed to get a parking ticket. Now, I had only left my car alone for 5 minutes, 7 minutes at the most. Damn you, parking gestapo! How DARE you write me a THIRTY-FIVE dollar ticket when I'm standing across the street having a nervous breakdown?
(To give them credit, there was no way to tell that the girl having a nervous breakdown was associated with that particular car, but still.)
Again, I was able to sweet talk my way past the security and dash into the house to retrieve my wallet. After a brief calculation, I realized I had plenty of time to make it back downtown for my lunch meeting and began to recover my sanity. BIG MISTAKE. Because as I took a minute to relax, I thoughtlessly opened some mail I had picked up from the Big Idea Mailbox. And I found (drumroll, please):
A CEASE AND DESIST NOTICE.
That's right. There's another organization with a vaguely similar name to one of the service names associated with the Big Idea. And because there might be the slightest, tiniest, most remote chance that an incredibly stupid person might get confused, they "respectfully request that you change the name of your company and services to eliminate the potential for confusion."
With best wishes,
Your New Nemesis
Harumph. I'm undecided about whether or not they have a case (my parents, upon my complaining, think they do NOT), but the main point is that I don't have the time or resources to engage in a legal battle (and by that I mean that even consulting a lawyer about this issue is beyond my financial capabilities). So I'm doing the "honorable" thing and giving it up without a fight. I'd like to believe that it's not costing me anything, since at this point I didn't have dedicated clients associated with that branch of the company. BUT STILL. It's the principle of the thing.
Anyway, I made a frantic call to my web-developer-extrodinaire Ms. Post No Bills, who graciously agreed to make major renovations to the website over the weekend to eliminate all references to THE DREADED AND POSSIBLY-IF-YOU'RE-STUPID INFRINGING service. (And note to Ms. PNB, if I see you posting entries that reveal you are watching HOURS of Law & Order instead of saving my infringing ass, you are in trouble!) I'll be keeping the service, just making the catchy title disappear. So if you want a last look at the catchy-yet-possibly-infringing website, check it out today for it will all be gone on Monday.
Bah humbug. It's never too early in the year to start being a grinch.
Anyway, after my call with Ms. PNB, I was late again and had to scramble downtown. Where, of course, I had a hellacious time with parking. I swear, crossing into Dupont Cirle there should be a sign that reads "Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Park Here". I eventually abandoned hope for finding street parking and paid (ha, ha, with the $$ from my newly reclaimed wallet!) $11 for an hour and a half worth of valet parking. Oh, I'll be deducting that on my taxes, don't you worry, dear reader.
From there, things looked up. I had a marvelous lunch with another Big Idea person, who gave me all sorts of good advice and even solicited my help on a Big Project. Not for $$, of course, but in a role that could potentially bring in clients and will definitely get my name out there. So yay for that.
After all that, I came home and instead of collapsing into bed as planned, managed to send a bunch of emails from people I met at the Big Idea Happy Hour last night, set up a lunch meeting for next week, set up a Big Idea proposal pitch (this one might actually net us some $$) for next week, join a professional Big Idea association, buy a plane ticket from Berlin to Budapest for the trip (that starts on Thursday, ensue panicking), have dinner with the family, brush Janie's teeth, avoid having Janie brush my teeth (which is part of the standard agreement), and get started on some new work for the Big Idea.
Now I'm really ready to collapse. But I'm torn between doing just a leetle more work for the Big Idea (there's so much left to do that I'm really starting to panic over leaving in just 6 days) and calling it a night and finishing "Foucoult's Pendulum", which I've been reading for several days. It's a page turner let me tell you. In fact, I would venture to say that The DaVinci Code is a poor (and ignorant) man's Foucoult's Pendulum. Just like Heath Ledger is a poor man's Ryan Phillipe. Umm, Ryan Phillipe.
See, I ended on a happy note.
Posted by madchen at 10:10 PM | Comments (1)January 06, 2006
I'm Not Just the President
Today was a big day for the Big Idea. The website updates are finished (thanks to Ms. Post No Bills), a new partnership has gone public, and I sent out my first mass e-mailing. And although I did end up accepting the interview offer from yesterday, I'm still feeling totally energized about pursuing the Big Idea full time.
I have a dozen ideas running through my head about how to spend my time in the next few weeks, especially on projects that might actually net me some paying clients. The goal is to actually have a written contract with a paying client signed by the end of March. (The month-long trip to Europe starting January 19th makes it a little more challenging, but I think I'm up to it!!)
So how am I going to spend my evening, coming down off this Big Idea high?
I'm off to clean the bathroom.
Because, dear reader, I'm not just the President, I'm also the janitor.
Posted by madchen at 06:14 PM | Comments (0)January 05, 2006
Time to Choose
Only five days into the new year, and already I'm faced with a moral dilemma.
As you may recall, dear reader, my #1 New Year's Resolution was to throw myself wholeheartedly into the Big Idea. The goal was to take all the energy I had been expending in the job hunt and focus it on developing my own business. No more pouring over the daily Idealist.org job listing, no more tailoring resumes to fit obscure positions, no more writing follow-up emails after the interviews. And most of all, no more stressing over how to make myself sound like the perfect candidate for each and every one.
It seemed like a brilliant plan, until I got the following email today:
We received your application and would like to invite you to come by to meet the XXXX staff and talk about the position in more depth. Are you available to come by for an interview next week?
Do you see the dilemma, dear reader? I had sent my resume weeks ago, and--not hearing anything--had mentally written it off as a no-go. To be perfectly truthful, I think the job sounds fascinating, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't meet my needs in the long-term: 1) it's with an NGO, so the pay is going to be marginal, and 2) it would be a VERY different job than any I've had before, and I don't really see myself starting over.
On the other hand, what's one more interview?
If I do the interview, however, it's basically admitting that I'm not fully committed to the Big Idea, and even that mental admission makes it too easy to start doubting myself.
But why would I turn down something that might be fabulous and lead to a whole new life (including one where I'm guaranteed an income!)?
Well, dear readers, what do YOU think?
Posted by madchen at 04:55 PM | Comments (5)January 04, 2006
The Edges of the Bell Curve
Moving forward with the Big Idea makes me feel brilliant, confident, and entrepreneurial. And then, without pause, it makes me feel like an incompetant idiot. Take for example, last night when I handed out my new Big Idea business cards to my book club friends--ahh, a nice moment. Then contrast that with my experiece today at the bank, trying to set up a business checking account.
I initally dropped by to ask what paperwork I would need to open an account (since I'm still in the process of registering with the state of Maryland, I though I'd make sure I had all my ducks in a row), but then got sucked into starting the paperwork right then and there. The idea was to record all my available information, and create a list of things that I still needed to obtain. All fine and good, until the "supervisor" came over after 20 minutes and said very sweetly, "where is your XXXX form?"
I had no idea what she was talking about, and she noted with her oh-so-saccharine voice that "we can't do anything without the XXXX form". I felt like an idiot for not having the form, even though my sole purpose in coming to the bank was to get a list of forms I would need. Somehow, my initiative was turned on its head and I left with my cheeks flushed with shame. Only later did that flush turn to indignation, and then resolve to take my business elsewhere.
So how do I reclaim that bubbly, giddy feeling at being a new business owner? Well, I like to surround myself (even if only virtually) with other brilliant, confident, entrepreneurial people. So I looked to the Edge Foundation.
Every year, the Edge Foundation asks an enormous array of smart people (scientists, philosophers, mathematicians, intellectuals of every stripe) a single question and publishes the results. This year's question: WHAT IS YOUR DANGEROUS IDEA?
The history of science is replete with discoveries that were considered socially, morally, or emotionally dangerous in their time; the Copernican and Darwinian revolutions are the most obvious. What is your dangerous idea? An idea you think about (not necessarily one you originated) that is dangerous not because it is assumed to be false, but because it might be true?
My favorite so far:
LEO CHALUPA - Ophthalmologist and Neurobiologist, University of California, Davis - My dangerous idea is that what's needed to attain optimal brain performance — with or without prior brain exercise — is a 24-hour period of absolute solitude. By absolute solitude I mean no verbal interactions of any kind (written or spoken, live or recorded) with another human being. I would venture that a significantly higher proportion of people reading these words have tried skydiving than experienced one day of absolute solitude.
What to do to fill the waking hours? That's a question that each person would need to answer for him/herself. Unless you've spent time in a monastery or in solitary confinement it's unlikely that you've had to deal with this issue. The only activity not proscribed is thinking. Imagine if everyone in this country had the opportunity to do nothing but engage in uninterrupted thought for one full day a year!
A national day of absolute solitude would do more to improve the brains of all Americans than any other one-day program. (I leave it to the lawmakers to figure out a plan for implementing this proposal.)The danger stems from the fact that a 24 period for uninterrupted thinking could cause irrevocable upheavals in much of what our society currently holds sacred.But whether that would improve our present state of affairs cannot be guaranteed.
As the BBC Radio 4 put it: "Fantastically stimulating...It's like the crack cocaine of the thinking world.... Once you start, you can't stop thinking about that question."
But lest you get carried away with brilliance and need a little down-to-earth news, did you know that mooning is legal in Maryland?
Acquitting a Germantown man who exposed his buttocks during an argument with a neighbor, a Montgomery County Circuit Court judge ruled yesterday that mooning, while distasteful, is not illegal in Maryland.
[The judge] made clear his disdain for the defendant, calling the alleged act "disgusting" and "demeaning." The outcome could have been different, he suggested, if the man had been on trial for "being a jerk."
I wish I'd known this when dealing with the snooty bank lady this afternoon.
Posted by madchen at 10:15 PM | Comments (0)January 02, 2006
A High Note
I'm starting off the year on a high note, at least in terms of the Big Idea. This morning, I started working at 10 a.m. and--with the exception of a wasted hour in which I attempted to see a sold-out Syriana with my parents, who decided they were unable to enjoy Silver Spring in a non-movie capacity and instead returned home--I'm still working at 9 p.m.
The key to my productivity has been the creation of an excel spreadsheet that charts my hours spent on the Big Idea. I have it broken down into categories, with a column for each day of the month. With any luck, in a few months I'll begin to see which areas are providing income, and which can be scrapped. In the meantime, I'm eager to log in some hours--and thus my late-night scurrying.
Incidentally, I am apprarently the ONLY one in the house who finds the 43 degree weather intolerable. I'm dressed from ankle to wrist in fleece, with wool socks to cover my shivering toes. I even considered wearing gloves, but decided that the mittens in my closet were not condusive to typing.
Posted by madchen at 09:04 PM | Comments (0)December 19, 2005
Connecticut
I'm here in Milford, Connecticut--perhaps the most charming locale in the state. I'm sitting at a desk next to a window overlooking the harbor, and in a minute I'm going to put on my coat and walk less than a block to enjoy a delicious crepe. Is it too late for me to move here?
I've had an amazingly productive 2 days, and have even completed my FIRST paid job for The Big Idea. It was quite small, but still--it's something. Plus, I'm neck-deep in great ideas for the future.
Suddenly, this crazy notion to start my own business doesn't seem so ridiculous.
Posted by madchen at 03:36 PM | Comments (1)October 19, 2005
Major Blunders
Oh dear me.
For the last, oh, month or so, I haven't really pursued the Big Idea. Aside from joining the gym, entertaining the niece, dating, and doing full-time consulting work, I just haven't had the time to sit down and think out the next steps. I'm at the point where I need some focused time to plan a strategy, create a "pitch" letter, and figure out how I want to approach potential clients.
Up until now, I just figured that when my current contract ran out (in early November), I would take a week or so and do some serious planning.
That is, until tonight.
I don't know what possessed me to start working on the Big Idea at 1 a.m. Suffice it to say that I was suddenly overwhelmed with a burst of Big Idea energy. I sat down, wrote a brilliant pitch letter, and tried to mail merge it with my excel spreadsheet, which contained a bunch of names I had culled for potential clients. This would allow me to customize each letter with information designed to make my offer particularly enticing.
So far, so good.
Well, Microsoft Word (both my angel and my nemesis) has this new nifty feature: the E-mail Merge. It's sort of like a regular mail merge, except that it will create individualized emails. Wonderful! Since I was hoping to make my initial contact via email, this is ideal. I'll have to do less editing, which means less room for stupid blunders. Theoretically, everyone should walk away happy.
It never works out that way, though, does it?
Well, apparently, when you hit "merge" on an email merge, it actually SENDS THE EMAILS RIGHT THEN AND THERE. Which, of course, I only found out AFTER I MERGED THEM TWICE. That's right. When I did it the first time, it looked like nothing happened. So I tried it again. And then I got this sinking feeling at the pit of my stomach.
I opened up my Microsoft Outlook and SURE ENOUGH. Two copies of each email (some of which were NOT edited to go out) went out, and were sent from my regular hotmail address instead of my official Big Idea email address. Thus, it looks like a totally phony scam (because my Big Idea email has a signature block with the company name, website, etc., I didn't include it in the form letter).
AUGH!!
After having a near breakdown, I have taken several deep breaths and assessed the situation. First off, for a letter written in 15 minutes, it has impeccable spelling and grammar. I'm just going to overlook the several emails that start:
Dear ,
And I'll also overlook the fact that everyone got that email twice. Hey, maybe they need to see it multiple times before taking it seriously.
It's not like i can do anything about it now.
And I did include my Big Idea phone number and email address at the bottom of the form letter, so any person with half a brain COULD figure out the company website address. Or they could just contact me for more information--which is what I suggest at the close of the letter.
Sigh.
Let me try and learn from this disaster.
Lesson #1: Don't try new features on Microsoft Office products at 1 a.m.
Lesson #2: Don't try new features on Microsoft Office on REAL client lists.
Lesson #3: Always include full contact information in the body of a letter.
Lesson #4: Don't try new features on Microsoft Office products at 1 a.m. (worth repeating twice)
Lesson #5: Don't try new features on Microsoft Office on REAL client lists. (also worth repeating twice)
September 21, 2005
Reason Number 117 I Want To Work For Myself
I was up all night working on various project for work--both my current consulting job and the Big Idea. It was just after 5 a.m. when my dad came downstairs repeating over and over and over (in a rather loud voice):
GOD DAMN IT
GOD DAMN IT
GOD DAMN IT
GOD DAMN IT
The scary thing was that he wasn't particularly angry (growing up, we heard him occasionally utter a swear word--an "in the heat of the moment" sort of thing), just frustrated and at the end of his rope. Apparently, he couldn't find his magic all-in-one-cell-phone-pager-email-thing and was going to be late for a meeting. I ended up helping him scour the house for it, only to have him remember that it was in the car from the night before.
The stress in his voice emphasized that he hates his job. REALLY hates it. In fact, has hated it for longer than I can remember. I honestly don't know why he still does it. I guess its the reason that Jess and I are always getting into trouble with our bosses, teachers, and other "figures of authority". We like to take on a challenge, to fight the good fight.
But jeez. Sometimes you just have to say, screw the magic cell phone, I'm calling in sick. And by sick, I mean:
I QUIT.
Posted by madchen at 07:00 AM | Comments (1)August 25, 2005
More Hate Mail...
Actually, this one is related to the Big Idea. In the process of gathering data for the business, I've contacted a bunch of companies and asked them about their business practices. Some have been very forthcoming, others not so much. After chasing down this guy for weeks, and finally getting only the most cursory of responses, I got this message:
I must add that I feel this process was a complete waste of time.
There was more, but that was the gist. Perhaps I won't be approaching him with the Big Idea.
Posted by madchen at 06:38 AM | Comments (0)August 12, 2005
My fancy lawyer friend writes...
...So can you disclose what the Big Idea is? I hope it involves an international gigolo ring.
What an intriguing idea. I hadn't considered that angle of the business, but I will look into it immediately.
Posted by madchen at 11:56 AM | Comments (2)I do not think that it means what you think that it means
--- "Quite right," Emerson ejaculated. "I cannot imagine what you were thinking of, Peabody, to suggest such a thing.
--- "Holy Jehoshaphat," he ejaculated. "How did she get up here? Not by way of the stairs, or I'd have seen her coming."
--- "Hell and damnation!" I ejaculated, for I knew those light, quick steps.
My, my, my. Certain words that one might casually skip over while reading a book seem to stand out when read aloud.
----------
In other news, Janie is now answering the phone herself. I was doing a spot of emergency babysitting this morning, which is now quite delightful since Janie can entertain herself for hours on end with a Barbie hotel, Barbie house, Blue's Clues videos, and a pack of Ritz crackers. I was making some calls (part of the BIG IDEA) on my computer (people who aren't on Skype yet are hopeless) and I needed complete quiet. After all, it's hard to sound uber-professional with a small child babbling in the background about the aforementioned Barbie motel, Barbie house, Blue's Clues videos, and pack of Ritz crackers.
So we had a little discussion about how she could watch videos upstairs, and that if she needed me for an EMERGENCY (defined in great detail), she could come downstairs and whisper to me. All fine and good. I didn't hear a peep out of her for 45 minutes.
Then, in the middle of a VERY important phone call on MY line, the house phone rings. To make matters worse, for some reason I had three cordless phones--taken from various places in the house--in the basement room, so it was a cacophony of noise. Trying to maintain my composure, I managed to continue my phone conversation long enough for the house answering machine to pick up.
But then...I notice that the house phone has stopped ringing, but the answering machine (also located in the basement where my desk is) never picked up. I figure the person had hung up, but a few seconds later, Janie trots into the room with the phone in her hand. She whispers that its my father, calling from Kansas, and simply refuses to tell him I'll call him back. I'm wildly trying to shoo her away, while maintaining my smooth telephone persona on MY call, even as her protestations grow in volume.
I ended up having to tell MY phone call to hold on a second, while I talked to my dad on the house phone long enough to arrange to call him back. Once I took the phone, Janie happily returned to her Barbie Barbie house, Blue's Clues videos, and pack of Ritz crackers.
It was only later, once I had concluded MY telephone calls--the guy at the other end didn't seem to mind the high-pitched shrieking interruption on my end--did it occur to me that Janie had picked up the phone on her own. I wandered upstairs, located her in her bedroom-having moved on to dress-up games.
"Why did you pick up the phone?"
"It was grandad."
"I know it was. But how did YOU know that it was grandad before you picked up?"
"I saw there was a Q in the name." [Referring to the caller ID.]
"Janie, there is no Q in our name."
"Ya-huh there is. Besides, I knew it was him."
"How?"
[Rolls eyes and emits deep sigh.] "Aunt Jen, I know my own family."
I left the room at that point, convinced that we could continue discussing the issue for another 20 minutes and get nowhere.
Posted by madchen at 01:13 AM | Comments (0)August 11, 2005
Off the Ground
The time has come to either commit, or cut and run. And I think I'm going to commit. You see, I've finally taken steps to go forward with the "big idea".
Now that other organizations (ok, even though I'm currently testing the service for free, I'm going to call them clients) are involved, I'm feeling a lot of pressure. If all goes well, I hope that these clients will be the first in a long line of happy customers. But that means it has to go smoothly this time around.
Actually it doesn't, really. I stipulated that this "beta test" would be provided free of charge in exchange for being a little more flexibility with the end result. In fact, these initial clients have committed themselves to working with me to go over the product and make sure it works. So I guess I should stop worrying and just get on with it.
Of course, trying to do this while simultaneously working a normal 40-hour week is somewhat trying. Fortunately, my contract work can be done at any time of the day, so it's no problem to put that research off until the evening so I can contact MY clients during normal business hours. On the other hand, since some of them are in Europe, I'll probably find myself up in the middle of the night making telephone calls anyway.
Anyway, it's VERY exciting.
Posted by madchen at 01:52 PM | Comments (0)July 28, 2005
No Rest for the Weary
I would like to issue a big "pat on the back" to someone very special in my life: me.
Having used an Acccess Database regularly for the last 4 years, I haven't had much experience developing and programming a database. In fact, not since my illustrious days in government.
I knew I was going to eventually have to develop a database to house the information that is crucial to my business idea, but I've been putting it off, remembering the frustration of my last project (tracking all 180+ nominations through the Senate Governmental Affairs Committee).
But tonight, in a record-setting 2.5 hours, I have the first draft of a database--complete with reports for clients.
This accomplishment has given me new enthusiasm for my big idea, and I'm determined not to let the stupid Maryland SBA (although their website says they do free counseling, it's only for businesses that have already started--and what help is that, really?) or my stupid housing situation (I can't run a home-based business on federal property) keep me from persuing my dream of being independently wealthy and saving the world.
Now if I could just finish my research on THPON. I really should be done by now, but I'm having a mind-block that won't allow me to summarize any more foul corporate information.
I hereby commit to finishing THPON tomorrow. After I see March of the Penguins with the family tomorrow, of course.
Posted by madchen at 03:06 AM | Comments (1)July 20, 2005
Renewed Energy
Alright. I admit it. I have been momentarily distracted with Harry Potter (still no delivery on #6, but I am re-reading #5 so it doesn't matter so much), my new camera, and my new video camera (I have 10 minutes of Janie singing in the baby pool out back).
But today I--as they say--got my shit together. I met with Ms. Amy today for coffee and a little brainstorming on future job plans. Then I spent the majority of the day in training--which basically was a repeat of the training I did the other day (in which I avoided death-by-boredom by silently repeating my hourly salary).
At any rate, I got home and managed to upload some new software (does ANYONE really understand how to use Microsoft Money?), do some laundry (I practically drooled over the extra-large washer and dryer), file some papers, and generally clean up my desk. Then, feeling quite smug, I even managed to do some EXTRA work (so I can attend a briefing on Genocidal Rape in Sudan at Capitol Hill on Thursday without feeling guilty about missing prime working hours).
With everything else off my plate, I finally got around to working on The Big Idea. I've put aside the business plan for a bit to work on a marketing survey (which was sent to several people tonight for beta testing) and even managed to make a reasonable budget.
I didn't realize how time consuming a business budget could be! I carefully scrutinized my expenses, federal tax, state and local tax, self-empoyment tax, and sales tax. Like all good business planners, I have several different scenarios--ranging from a business that is an immediate success to one where I have to scrouge by. Under the different scenarios, I estimate walking away at the end of 2006 with either a) $29,890.80, b) $12,683.93, or c) $4,817.93. The actual numbers are actually probably closer together, since I estimated by expenses as equal across all three options, when in reality my expenses would probably go down in the more spendthrift models.
Anyway, I am feeling quite proud of myself. And now I think I'll hop into bed, where a chunky cat is awaiting me--right next to the Harry Potter book.
July 11, 2005
The Big Idea
While Madchen has been sitting on the dining room table, and the deer have been eating the flowers in the front yard, I have been contemplating my future. Having spent the past year being extremely introspective, and thoroughly enjoying my first couple weeks back in the United States, it is definitely time to make a new plan. Some general feelings about my future had been fomenting in my brain. And the first step was this discovery:
I want to start my own business.
This is an obvious choice for several reasons:
1) I tend to [come into conflict] with my bosses, but I *adore* myself, so it would be an interesting experiment to see if I could continue to hold myself in high esteem while simultaneously giving myself orders.
2) I can't see myself getting rich working a traditional job.
3) Setting aside the money issue, I can't seem to find a job at all.
My main problem was that, while I had decided to start my own business, I didn't have an IDEA for a business. Hard to sell something that you can't describe, right?
So I started by asking myself some basic questions:
1) What is my goal in life? The glib answer is to leave the world a better place than I found it. I'm kind of a cynic when it comes to the whole idea of sustainability, and I don't really subscribe to the whole religious idea of good and evil. On the other hand, I feel very strongly about wrong and right, and I want to live according to my values in a meaningful way.
2) What do I enjoy? I enjoy knowing things. One of the great pleasures in life is feeling smart. There are many things that I am not, but I am pretty damn brilliant--not in a natural genius sort of way, but in a "wow she has an amazing amount of data in her head" sort of way. I gather facts and ideas for the sheer pleasure of feeling my brain work.
3) What do I enjoy that also fulfills my goal in life? Over the past few years, I have come to believe (not just intellectually, but also with my gut) that education is the key to solving the world's problems. I'm not a "teacher", but I am good at packaging information in a way that makes it easy to understand. And real, meaningful understanding leads to better decision-making. So by providing people with better information, I can help decision-makers make better choices.
But I was still at a loss for a great idea.
Well, tonight it came to me. On Sunday night, July 10, 2005, after watching 3 back-to-back-to-back episodes of TLC's The Property Ladder, I had my big idea. No, it has nothing to do with buying up old property and selling it for ridiculous sums of money (although that is a splendid idea). And no, I can't explain the actual idea now--since I haven't done the business plan, trademarked the name, or reserved the website, some ruthless thief might come along and steal my idea. But rest assured, it is a spectacular idea that is guaranteed to make me a millionaire and to also save the world.
Ahh, bliss.
So between 1) researching evil companies, 2) reading my book club book, 3) chasing Madchen down from the table every 30 seconds, and 4) mingling with Washington's young elite, I will also be doing the following:
1) Writing up a preliminary business plan.
2) Figuring out how much $$ I would need to really explore the feasibility of this project.
3) Contacting my favorite graphic designer to discuss designing a website.
4) Deciding how to spend my first million dollars. I'm thinking shoes.
