March 16, 2006
No You Di-unt!!
I have to admit it: I miss school. At least, the part of it that involved heated debate of items of seemingly world-shaking importance. Outside of an academic setting, it's hard to get a rousing conversation about "how to save the world" off the ground.
So although I now officially have two master's degrees under my belt and am firmly ensconced in my professional career, I still like to keep a foot in the academic door. One of the ways I've been doing that is by submitting a public feedback document to the organization upon which my thesis was based. This organization is releasing a new set of guidelines and has asked interested parties to comment. Since I wrote my thesis on the topic, I thought it would be worthwhile to jot a little something down. Once I got it on paper, I thought it would be nice to ask if others from my graduate program would be interested in adding their names. So far, so good. I thought the thesis was pretty damn good, and why not?
With my consent, the feedback document was sent to some other professionals for comment--to see if they'd like to sign on as well. Just a few minutes ago I got a very thoughtful reply to that request from a professor in another country who works on the same topic, politely noting that he completely disagreed with the premise of my comment (and thus, my thesis).
He attached some documents to provide more background on his own research on the subject. I took a peek, and on the first page, I found that it's a lot more provocative than I thought. He basically sums up the foundation of my thesis (the notion that corporate sustainability leads to improved financial performance) and calls it:
"...perniciously, outrageously and blatantly untrue...The statements seem to be accepted when, at best, there is no evidence to support them and, at worst, they are breathtakingly untrue."
Them's fightin' words.
Posted by madchen at 12:35 AM | Comments (4)May 28, 2005
Hey da!
This will be my final entry from Sweden. Although I would like to write a long and heartfelt description of my last time downtown (ahh, Wayne's, I hardly knew ye) this afternoon, my last class (complete with thesis presentations--yawn), and my last game of Texas Hold 'Em with the Swedes next door (I won 105 SEK!!), I just don't have the time.
I would also like to write a little bit about my job search. To make a long story short, I am still waiting to hear about the job in Takoma Park, MD. After harassing them for a week straight, I finally discovered yesterday that the reason the executive director wasn't calling me back was that she was busy getting married this weekend. She'll be back in the office on Wednesday, and should get back to me sometime in the next week or so. The position is still open, and she received my "strategy proposal" for the position, but hasn't had time to look at it yet.
Instead, I have approximately 28 hours to finish packing all of my stuff for D.C., start packing my stuff for Turkey, clean up the kitchen, make a dish for the potluck tomorrow night, finish my laundry, and finish formatting my thesis.
Speaking of the thesis, can I reiterate (if I haven't already) HOW MUCH THE FORMATTING SUCKS? I'm only on page 30 of our 80+ page paper and I'm up to footnote 76. Actually, because the school has decided to go with some stupid "move all the footnotes to endnotes, but don't actually make them endnotes, but instead manually enter brackets around each number and call them references" format, I (and I assume many of my classmates) will be spending many an hour in front of the computer, alternately sobbing and screaming obscenities at the screen. I don't know why they don't just go with the traditional Chicago Manual of Style (which at least takes into consideration the wonderful advances in AUTOMATIC numbering)--but no, BTH has to do it a little differently. Sigh.
Tomorrow will be my last full day in Karlskrona. Sunday morning Roya and I will go to Copenhagen and spent the night there. Then Monday morning I'll hop on the plane to sunny Istanbul. Given that I was dying of the heat today (it reached 70 degrees for the first time this year), I am sure to spontaneously burst into flames when I step off the plane in Turkey.
Since we're heading for some of the rural regions of Turkey, I will be pretty much incommunicado until June 20, when I arrive back home in D.C. I'll be sure and post all my pictures on the blog, so check back in at the end of the month.
In the meantime, may I point you to the 287 posts from this past year? You can relive the fun of my first two weeks in Sweden (when everything that could go wrong did--including dead birds on the balcony, no furniture, etc.), my experience with the graduate program, my adventures in Amsterdam, Poland, Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia, Finland, Norway, Austria, Mexico, Belize, and Honduras--although not in that order, and various other delightful commentary.
And with that, I'm off to bed. There's a full day of formatting tomorrow. See you on the other side!
Posted by madchen at 02:51 AM | Comments (4)May 25, 2005
I Love My Thesis Partner
He is brilliant, funny, gorgeous (in a "Brad Pitt meets hockey player" sort of way), and an all-around fantastic person.
He has also found this site. Ronan, instead of perusing my innermost thoughts and feelings, shouldn't you be formatting references? :)
Posted by madchen at 07:24 PM | Comments (3)May 23, 2005
Things I Hate About My Thesis
While there are probably many things I hate about my thesis, I am tired and so will just cover the main ones:
1. Formatting. I don't know why every school has to do it a little differently but it SUCKS. I spent about 3 hours trying to get it all into a single document with the right margins (in metric, when my computer only has English standard), the right references (stupid footnotes vs. endnotes--particularly when the endnotes have to be manually entered in brackets at the end--so incredibly rediculous), the right spacing (20 pt. line after each Heading 1, 16 pt. line after each Heading 2, two 12 pt. lines between each Heading 2 and Heading 3, etc.), and the right captions for the tables and figures (chapter.number: description). If I ever wanted to write a stream of obscenties for the world to see, this would be the time.
2. E-meetings where the other person doesn't show up. I usually love e-meetings, as it allows me to sit in my pajamas and conduct business over Skype. It is difficult, however, to maintain my composure when my partner doesn't show up at the appointed 7 p.m. meeting. At 9 p.m. when he finally calls, he merely says (and I quote): "i was downtown this eve and stopped by the gym on the way home, big work out and suana, i really need it sorry." Grr. Doesn't he know that I hate when people are late?!?
3. Formatting. I know I mentioned this one before, but it is horrid enough to bear repeating. Moreover, the "model" document they provided us keeps crashing my computer. Perhpas it should tell us something when the model is a mess.
Posted by madchen at 01:58 AM | Comments (2)May 18, 2005
Happy Birthday To Me!
In 9.5 hours I will be defending my thesis in front of a room of people. Thankfully, Ronan and I have a good grasp of our presentation, and even made two spunky new graphics to jazz it up. At precisely 11:15, I plan on leaving the classroom, proceeding downtown, getting completely drunk, and falling asleep mid-afternoon in the gutter.
Actually, I'll have lunch with some classmates, then go back and listen to 2 more presentations. While I'm sure that their topics will be riveting, there is actually something appealing about the idea of passing out in a Karlskrona alley. I've heard other students speak so highly of it, it would be a shame to miss out on the excitement.
Plus, I'll be wearing my suit (the ONE time I have the opportunity and I'll be damned if I brought it all the way to Sweden to have it hang in the closet for 10 months) and drunk people in formal business attire are the best--everyone agrees.
Additional fun story: I was supposed to meet Ronan at noon today to go over our presentation, but we discovered last night that we can't lock (or unlock) our front door from the outside. So someone has to be home until they fix it. Being the last one to wake up, I got stuck with the job. I had e-mail confirmation that someone was coming to fix it, but they never showed up. Thankfully, Roya got home in the afternoon and I was able to make my escape. I got home at 11 p.m. tonight to find out that the door is still messed up. I have no idea what we're going to do tomorrow, since all three of us have to be at school promptly at 9 a.m. when the presentations start. Guess we'll leave the door unlocked? If it weren't Sweden, that might actually be unsafe. At least if we get robbed, I'll still have my trusty suit!
Posted by madchen at 12:33 AM | Comments (3)April 06, 2005
My Thesis Partner...
...finally has a draft of his literature review! It has been a very exciting day, let me tell you, to know that I am not the only one writing down my research findings.
I'm ready to move on to the next step of the thesis writing project (keeping in mind that at some point I will have to finish up that last chapter, which is so close, and yet so far from being done)--interviewing two dozen survey respondents. So far, I've sent them all emails asking for an hour of their time (which in itself took a couple hours), and so far I have 4 interviews set up. The first one starts in a half hour. I'm fairly well prepared, and have 9 brilliant questions to ask, plus whatever else comes up in the conversation.
In other news, the interview yesterday went well. It will take at least 2 weeks to hear whether I've made it to the next step (an offer, I think), but I'm feeling pretty confident.
Also, I finished my op-ed and submitted it to 4 B-I-G newspapers. No response from them yet, but it's so damn brilliant that they would be fools to pass it over. At least, that's what I'm telling myself. If I don't hear back by Thursday, I'll submit it to some more regional newspapers.
Posted by madchen at 07:51 PM | Comments (0)March 04, 2005
Bad Moods Are Contagious
Ugh...I started off the afternoon in a perfectly nice mood. It was further enhanced by the advent of successful wireless internet capabilities at the local coffeeshop. And then...
It all went sour.
First, there were a string of emails that got snippy at the end, all related to something I started in what I thought was a joking matter. Sigh.
Then, I saw with delight that several people had responded to our survey. Using our super-stealthy new email address (designed specifically for this project), I went through the 50 or so "delivery failed" messages (sigh, the master contact list was more than a little faulty) and noticed with glee that we had actual emails from some of the survey participants. I read the first one with a rapidly beating heart--after all, a lot is riding on the success of this survey--and imagine my terror when I read:
Hello, I can't access your survey. I get a message saying: survey is closed.
With a trembling hand I opened up three other emails with similar sentiments. I swear, we had pre-tested this survey to death--how could it be CLOSED?? I hurriedly went to the survey and, sure enough, there is a secret button you have to choose to "open" it to outside participants. I opened the survey, and quickly wrote back to the emailers, noting that we had fixed the problem. I just hope that a bunch of other people hadn't tried to answer the survey, seen that it was faulty, and threw the email away without contacting us. Distaster.
So by then, I was in a truly foul mood. I thought that a trip to the Fox & Anchor for the famous free Friday buffet would fix things, but the bantering just made me more irritable.
I got home around 9 and checked back on the survey website. Seven people have completed the survey (yay!), so it appears that it is working at least. Then I took a closer look at the responses. One of them came from my former boss, which was amusing just because of the way the world works. Another response was quite rude, implying that we had completely misunderstood the nature of sustainability reporting. Now, I have spent the last 2+ years working on the issue of sustainability reporting: I assure you, I have an excellent grasp of the subject. But it made me MORE irritable (if possible) than before.
Then, we have a "special" guest at the house tonight for dinner, and there is loud music playing in the kitchen, that even two closed doors cannot block. I can't figure out what my next steps are for the thesis, and I'm at a loss on how to combine my two spreadsheets with thesis information.
Finally, one of my peer group members is unhappy with our choice (led by me) to use a yahoo group account to coordinate information from our thesis peer group. While I realize this is NOT intended to be a personal attack, once I'm in a bad mood, it's hard not to see it that way.
No whining, I know. I'm just at a loss on how to salvage the evening.
Posted by madchen at 09:44 PM | Comments (0)January 26, 2005
Yay!
Presentations are officially over--we had the last two "make-up" presentations this afternoon. In addition, we had a morning session covering the thesis project. I was impressed by the level of attention that went in to the preparation and left quite happy to plod along on my own thesis project.
Also this afternoon, I met with some other like-minded students to discuss e-based communication for the remainder of the program. I have set up an experimental yahoogroups website so that my thesis peer group (a 12-15 person subset which will work together on the thesis review process) can communicate their progress via the web. The peer groups won't actually be formed for a couple weeks, but I thought I would experiment a little with it to discover its capabilities. So far, so good.
That's about it for now. I'm exhausted from spending all day in class and looking forward to reading The Line of Beauty, which I've been working on for the last couple weeks. Tomorrow I will meet with Ronan, my thesis partner, to finalize our proposal. But for now, I just want a peanut butter sandwich.
Posted by madchen at 06:11 PMJanuary 21, 2005
Light at the End of the Tunnel
Today is the last day of presentations--and it couldn't have come at a better time. I've slacked off over the past couple of days, attending only 50% of them. I believe I've explained the reason for this in earlier entries (look for "mind-numbing"). But in approximately 2 hours it will all be over and we will officially be in the final thesis semester.
Well, that's not entirely true, since we have until Wednesday to turn in our papers. With my Strategic Management paper turned in, but my Advanced Leadership paper still hanging in the wind (my group partners can't seem to get their parts written), I am feeling a little nervous about my weekend trip. Here's the plan: Karl and Ronan will write their parts of the paper over the weekend, so that when I come to class on Wednesday, I can read the final draft version on the computer. After I give my OK (which I hope, hope, hope I can give with no serious reservations), we'll print it off and turn it in on Wednesday afternoon. I was hoping to be able to turn it in before I left, but it was not meant to be.
Also, I would like to retract all my previous statements about laundry in Sweden. Apparently, it was just the laundry facilities along the first floor of Kungsmarken that are of the pre-industrial era. Last night, I borrowed Tomomi and Birte's key (illegally kept when Birte moved into Tomomi's place) for the laundry room in the next building. I swear, it was like a mecca of laundry heaven. First off, you didn't need to fight for an appointment--instead, it functions like all normal laundry rooms on a first-come-first-serve basis. Then, oh majesty of majesties, there were FOUR washers and FOUR dryers. It was amazing. Long story short, I was able to do two weeks worth of laundry in under 3 hours--a far cry from the days when it would take 7 hours (plus all the associated hang-to-dry hassle in the apartment afterwards). I have to say that the whole experience quite changed my outlook on life here in Sweden.
So, now that I've wasted another hour here at home, there is really only one presentation left for me to attend. I suppose I should go--although it's "System Dynamics and its Application to Strategic Leadership Towards Sustainability", which doesn't sound very scintillating.
On the other hand, going to class will allow me to check out some library books for my trip to Lithuania this weekend. I'm getting very excited about it--another stamp in my passport! And clean clothes to wear on the journey!!
Posted by madchen at 12:17 PM | Comments (0)November 30, 2004
Deep Thoughts and Irritation
First, let me start with the irritation: why does laundry have to be SO difficult? I am not living in a developing country--in fact, Sweden ranks among the best countries for quality of life. Does this mean that the expectation that washers and drying rooms should be working during the brief time that you are allotted laundry facilities is unreasonable? That "working laundry facilities" are not good indicators of quality of life?
I think not.
In fact, having to condense three people's laundry into a space of 7 hours every two weeks is in itself absurd. I am running a chronic laundry deficit, and Roya regularly spends several hours a week doing "hand washing" in our bathroom to make up for the lack of time in the common laundry room. Jess has resorted to illegally using the laundry room a couple buildings over, usually in the middle of the night, because it has no sign-up requirement.
So this afternoon when I arrived promptly downstairs at 2 p.m., carrying my suitcase packed full of dirty clothes, I was frustrated to find that both washers (we only have two washers, one dryer, and one drying "room") were refusing to go through the spin cycle--requiring me to wring out each piece of sopping clothing by hand. Then, because too-wet clothes NEVER dry in the dryer, I had to hang them all in the drying room, which is supposed to blow warm air out of holes in the bars over which you hang the laundry. Because it just felt like "that kind of day", I wasn't really surprised to discover that the drying room wasn't blowing out any air at all. So I just hung my clothes over the bars and proceeded to watch them stream water until it looked like a river was passing through the laundry room.
Fast forward to 7 hours later (thankfully, I am the only one doing laundry today--after I passed on the bad news to Roya and Jess, they declined to join me in the debacle) and I'm still mopping up the water on the floor, and there are rows of clothes too wet to even be called "damp".
And now, on to my deep thoughts...
I'm feeling like I shouldn't keep writing in this journal, for two main reasons:
1. I don't have very interesting things to say. Most of these entries are just rote recitations of my day--when I got up, what classes I went to (or skipped), and why the laundry facilities are equivalent to those in Bangladesh. Am I really contributing anything here?
2. I feel like I'm censoring myself. While I'm perfectly capable of being cynical and bitchy online, I feel self-conscious about being "thoughtful". Mostly because "thoughtful" isn't my style--or at least not my public style. I feel silly and pretentious when I talk about bigger issues, even though most of it is muddled and confused ramblings about the "good life". Maybe I would be better at exploring these topics offline. But since I just don't have the energy or the time to maintain a public blog and a private journal, I can only pursue one of these.
So, that's where I am right now. I had lots of good discussions with classmates this week about where I want to go in life. I'm still mulling over these things, and I'm not sure what to write about them. In short:
1. I'm not sure I want to pursue the Foreign Service any more. While I would certainly join if I was called up, I can't really face the thought of going through the written and oral exams again, just to try and improve my score. And given that my scores were on the low end of "eligible", I don't expect I will get called up without some serious language points--which I have neither the time nor the inclination to pursue.
2. I'm feeling very disconnected from my classes and the program leaders. While I am enthusiastic about my small group projects (and the upcoming thesis work), I am NOT motivated to go to class. Moreover, I'm feeling estranged from the program leaders. While I have serious concerns about the way the program is being run, I think that the leaders view me too much as a "discontent" to have constructive conversations with. Not that they have time to discuss my concerns, mind you, but I definitely felt a brush-off during my attempts during the field trip to discuss potential projects.
3. I'm feeling VERY up-in-the-air about what I want to do immediately after graduation (assuming I make it to graduation--ha, ha). I know it's kind of soon to be stressing about this, but it's difficult to move "strategically towards a vision of success" when I don't know what "success" looks like.
And with that, I will go fetch the last of my laundry, to continue drip-drying in the bathroom.
Posted by madchen at 04:39 PM | Comments (0)November 20, 2004
Busy Bee
I've been busy catching up on sleep (ahh, wonderful, glorious sleep!), attending boring lectures on the future of our global energy mix, and meeting with my small groups for the Strategic Management and Advanced Leadership classes I'm taking this term.
A word on my return. I was greeted with such warmth and affection when I got back--people seemed genuinely thrilled that I had passed the Foreign Service Exam and that I had returned safely. It was quite touching.
And then to have arranged to be in two fantastic small groups is an added bonus.
In my Strategic Management class, I have teamed up with Jo and Paulo to work on developing a corporate strategic management process for Tarkett Ronneby, a Swedish flooring company. We met with the Environmental Communications manager from Tarkett on Friday and are VERY excited at the prospect of working with the company over the next month.
In my Advanced Leadership class, I have teamed up with Ronan and Karl to develop a review of the Global Reporting Initiative (GRI), with which I have extensive experience. With any luck, I'll be able to transition this into a thesis topic.
That's about it. Both Jess and Roya are at Kerly's birthday party tonight, but I felt like I needed some quiet time to myself. Our group leaves on a 7-day field trip to Northern Sweden on Tuesday (we'll be traveling by bus the whole time), so I won't have any "alone time" for awhile.
Posted by madchen at 07:47 PM | Comments (0)October 28, 2004
Stretching My Brain
Using your brain is a wonderful thing. I have recently been belaboring the lack of intellectual challenges in this course. Not that the idea of sustainability isn't dynamic and complex, but we haven't really been challenged with tough questions, seemingly impossible conundrums, and debate opportunities. Instead, we've been repeatedly told that the TNS Framework is so simple, so clear, that it is intuitively grasped. From a bird's eye perspective, this is true--I'm just ready to jump into the messy details.
Tonight I came across an article that just blows my mind. It's called Biological Adaption in Human Societies: A 'Basic Needs' Approach. It's complicated and challenging, but intellectually rigorous, with footnotes backing up every claim, a wealth of prior research, and compelling results. It wasn't until I read this (and I'm not even done yet!) that I realized how much I was missing this type of writing.
It feels so amazing to read something difficult and feel your brain working alongside the author.
Posted by madchen at 08:21 PM | Comments (0)October 27, 2004
Stupid People Need Your Empathy Too
As my dear, dear friend La notes, "Stupid people need your empathy too."
This, I suppose is true. However, it would make things much easier if these people KNEW they were stupid. Currently, we have to tip-toe around, pretending to be interested in inane things they say, nod agreeably when they make asanine justifications, etc.
I guess this is where my new intention to be "sensitive" would come in.
Now, I would like to clarify. When I say "stupid", I don't mean people who are "less intelligent". No, no, no. I fully recognize that people have different talents and abilities--and not all of them can be directly quantified into categories of intelligence. La, for instance, has the most amusing spelling gaffes, but can provide encouragement like nobody's business and she always remembers people's birthdays. I can read at an amazing rate and have an almost photographic memory, but cannot draw to save my life and consistently forget people's birthdays.
Instead, when I say "stupid" I mean people who just act in stupid ways. Any of the following might suffice:
* Person "A" walks into class 45 minutes late on a regular basis. S/he misses the introduction to the lecture, then asks the MOST BASIC questions during the Q&A session. These questions have been clearly addressed both in the reading (which should have been done before the class) and at the beginning of the lecture. Person "A" then has trouble getting the concept, and asks several follow-up questions, taking valuable time away from students who have intelligent questions to ask.
* Person "B" consistently shows up at pot-luck events with nothing to share. Then, this person has the audacity to criticize the food that has been graciously provided!
* Person "C" goes out several times a week, partaking of alcohol, appetizers, and desserts. Then, s/he complains that rent is too expensive, that going to the movies is too expensive, that their paycheck is too low, etc. There is never enough money at the end of the month and credit card debt mounts, causing more stress and anxiety--leading to more evenings out, complaining about money over a plate of $12 pasta.
It's hard to generate empathy for people like this. And it's not people who make these mistakes once, but people who commit these errors again and again that makes me so frustrated.
On the other hand, I also want to strangle people who love process to the exclusion of anything productive, but that is a learning/thinking difference that I just need to get over. With as little bloodshed as possible.
Posted by madchen at 08:23 PM | Comments (0)Relief
Hallelujah, our presentation is over!! Actually, aside from some intial technical difficulties, it went exceptionally well. We stayed in the time limit, we got good questions (to which we knew the answers!), and were done before 9:30 a.m. We decided to give ourselves a couple days before meeting again to go over last minute edits for the paper, which isn't due until November 2.
Once the presentation was over, I was able to sit back and enjoy 3 other group presentations, which were entitled:
* Blekinge Institute of Technology - a journey towards sustainability
* The Future of Biodiesel [with an intriguing discussion of algae as a source of biodiesel]
* Sustainability in Hospitals
I was amazed by the variety of talents and expertises in the groups--one group in particular had an amazing graphic representation of what a "sustainable school" would look like--it was truly awesome.
After class, I made the dreaded trip to Karlskronahem to beg for my apartment back. Fortunately, there was no groveling required, and I paid my rent for November and was out of the office in a mere 30 minutes. I also swung by Affairsverken, which as I understand it is the Karlskrona utility company, to pay my internet bill. Then I stopped by the grocery store and picked up some stuff for sandwiches and soup. By then I had spent nearly $500, so I decided to call it a day and took the bus back home.
A long nap after lunch made me very happy, and dinner was followed with a lovely chat with Roya. She is a very interesting girl--so intense and the most empathetic person I have ever met. We talked about how to get the most out of the program, given our frustrations, and how to balance efficiency and effectiveness on on hand, with collaboration and dialogue on the other. It's given me lots to think about.
Over the past few weeks, I've realized that my main block in life is that I am intolerant of other people's...well, of other people. So many things come easily to me, and I get frustrated when other people take their time achieving the same outcome. Part of this is justified, I think--I believe its reasonable to be irritated when a person who has spent the last 3 of 5 nights at the bar keeps complaining about how they "just can't find the time to study". On the other hand, some people learn through deep, quiet, persistent means, and I can't be judgemental when it takes a little extra time to complete group projects.
This is not news to me--in fact, I have had lots of people tell me that my "aggressiveness" in dealing with people and projects is both a strength and weakness. My problem is that I don't know how to work on the "weakness" part of it. I have been told (rather patronizingly, I think), that this will come with time--that it's an issue of emotional maturity. But certainly, I don't need to wait for 20 more years to be suddenly graced with patience and empathy?
So the new challenge for me is to consciously pay attention to how I am treating people--and to the mechanisms that trigger my annoyance. I need to recognize that there is a distinction (although not always clear in the moment) between true stupidity and an alternative learning/thinking style. I want to take my high standards and apply them correctly--it only hurts me to negatively judge people for differences that ultimately make us all richer. Or at least, I'd like to believe that--secretly, a part of me believes that if everyone were just a little bit more like me, the world would be in much better shape.
Posted by madchen at 08:22 PM | Comments (0)October 26, 2004
Brain Meltdown
I had a terrible night of sleep last night, full of bizarre dreams, including one where kittens kept appearing and crawling all over me (in a nice way, not in a Hitchcockian way) and one where Janie kept throwing food at me and nearly falling out of her chair. Clearly, I have a lot going on in my subconscious.
I met with Birte this morning to do more work on our paper, but after about an hour we gave up. Apparently, my brain has decided that enough is enough and it needs a break. So we scrapped plans to edit, and gve ourselves the day off. I came upstairs, planning to get ready and go down to Karlskronahem to beg for my apartment back (it seems the only option), but I instead crawled into bed and took a long nap.
When I woke up, it was partially sunny outside (quite the miracle) and I was in a much more functional mood. It's too late now to see Karlskronahem (they only have business hours from 9-3, plus an hour closed for lunch), but I can do that tomorrow after class. We are the first presentation to go tomorrow (at 8:30 a.m.), so we're meeting in our small group AGAIN tonight to go over the PowerPoint presentation and rehearse our speaking roles.
I started reading The Facilitator's Guide to Participatory Decision-Making last night. I believe it should be required reading for anyone participating in groups (which is just about everyone). It made me realize where I am a bad group member, and how to more effectively participate in future group work. On the bad side, the book basically acknowledges that participatory decision-making is largely a miserable experience, and is only worth it once you've given over half your life to listening to boring, stupid people drone on and on. Well, perhaps I exaggerate, but you get the idea.
Posted by madchen at 08:25 PM | Comments (35)October 25, 2004
Group Learning
According to this course, groups function in two ways...
1) The group as a whole is weaker than the stupidest member of the group.
2) The group as a whole is stronger than the smartest member of the group.
Three guesses which way our small group is functioning? (Given that there are only 2 choices, it shouldn't be hard.)
Sigh.
I'm feeling very frustrated, in part because I feel like members of our group are not contributing equally, and in part because I feel like we spent too much time (way, WAY too much time) discussing process. And in these discussions, we usually end up coming to a conclusion that everyone interprets differently, and then we're back to square 1.
Using Adam's notation, I will now use the acronym DTSG (Death to Small Groups) in future entries to summarize my feelings on this matter.
Posted by madchen at 08:27 PM | Comments (0)October 23, 2004
The Loss of a Weekend
I was up this morning at 8 a.m., practically unheard of for me. I had to be downstairs at Birte and Tomomi's place for a group meeting at 9:30, and I knew I needed a little time to warm up before meeting the challenges of the small group. Lucky for me, I had a big breakfast of granola and yogurt, because we ended up spending 5 hours in the meeting, going over every detail of our draft, arguing about the structure of the paper, and reaching very few conclusions.
By the time I got back upstairs, I was mentally drained. I had taken on a bunch of assignments for the next section of our project, but rather than do any preliminary work, I instead ate some lunch (if you can call a meal at 3 p.m. "lunch"), did the dishes, and took a nap.
This evening, I made a bean salad and took it to Renaud's birthday party over at the campus housing. It was a delightful night, but most of my classmates had spent last night partying, so tonight's shindig was largely over by 11 p.m. I took the bus back to Kungsmarksvagen with Tomomi, Birte, and Birte's sister, who is visiting with her family.
Now I'm back in my pajamas, looking forward to a full night of sleep. Tomorrow morning I'll start again on my project work, then I'll have an evening study session with my classmates at campus, and then Birte and I will have a mini-group session afterwards. I swear, when this year is over, I will have had enough "group work" to last my entire life.
Posted by madchen at 08:30 PM | Comments (0)October 14, 2004
Some People
Today was long. But good. Long, but good.
I started the day with a lecture by Leif Johansson, the CEO of Volvo and former CEO of Electrolux (I mistakenlyidentified Christian Azar as the CEO of Volvo in a previous post). He had some very refreshing things to say, including an acknowledgement that industry associations usually pander to the lowest common demoninator and cannot be relied upon to promote sustainability objectives. Now, I knew this (having tried to communicate with America's homebuilders industry association and the mining industry association--but it was gratifying to hear it from a real industry insider--and a leader at that.
After the Q&A session, I went up to Villa Oscar for lunch with some classmates, and we had a delightful conversation about the internet's potential to convey the basic tenets of sustainability. It was interesting to see the divergent opinions--I think I fell somewhere closer to the technology optimist side of things. Perhaps it's because I think using the internet is a little like Christmas--every time you click "check mail" you might get a present. Or, I suppose, multiple ads for Viagra.
At 2 p.m. I went to a meeting of international students to discuss our experiences here in Karlskrona with a Blekinge municipality representative. I thought we did a great job of praising the Interntional Reception (which did a great job, all things considered) and offering up constructive criticism for next year. Towards the end, though, there were a couple comments made that took me completely by surprise. When discussing the problems of Kungsmarksvagen (overall quality of life, and safety), someone said that it shouldn't be surprising, as the complex was full of refugees, who hadn't been raised properly. Wow--there was a collective intake of breath and immediately people responded to the inference. Ironically, it wasn't a Swede who made the comment, but an African international student. So I suppose it wasn't racist, but classist. But ugh--it made me want to go take a shower and wash off the filth of the comment.
I went straight from that meeting to a class discussion of climate change. I slipped in late, and just caught the end of the talk. Basically, we agreed that the articles we were provided in preparation for Christian Azar's visit (several of them were written by him, too) took a reductionist view of the problem. Climate change is not about increasing energy efficiency or exploring new technologies. While driving a fuel cell car might alleviate greenhouse gas emissions, unless we fundamentally change our transportation infrastructure, we will all still be sitting in those cars for hours in traffic! The question we struggle with as a class is, how do we create such a complete paradigm shift and, moreover, how do we convince others (this is a Leadership program, after all) that this "new" world will be better?
Before we could solve this problem (ha, ha) it was time for another meeting--this time held by the International Office. For all intents and purposes, it was to inform us about exam regulations, which are completely different than any other school system I've experienced. Unfortunately, the meeting was disorganized, and people streamed in during the first 30 minutes, acting completely oblivious to the fact that there was a presentation going on. At one point, Jo actually stopped the procedings and confronted the group at the back, noting that it was rude and disrespectful to traipse in a half hour late and then proceed to have side conversations. I wanted to stand up and cheer, but decided that might be a little over the top. So I patiently sat through the rest of the presentation, all the while with freezing feet. Apparently, the Swedes don't think that October weather (about 40 degrees) should influence the decision to heat the buildings. Long story short, I left campus about 5:30 p.m. and biked home, stopping at Willy:s on the way to pick up some granola and yogurt for breakfast.
Now I'm home, completely engrossed in The Robber Bride. I'll try and finish it tonight, but I won't stay up too late, since I have to go check out an apartment before class tomorrow. Jess and I are meeting the landlord at the apartment (which is downtown) at 8 a.m., which means we'll have to leave the house around 7:30 a.m. (Yikes, I shudder even to type that.) So it will be an early night. And then...the weekend!
Posted by madchen at 08:40 PM | Comments (0)October 13, 2004
Happy Thoughts
I have been looking over the last few weeks of entries, and I've realized that I come across as either excessively preachy or depressingly gloomy. Recognizing that I can be a bit bossy on occasion (ok, a lot bossy, a lot of the time) and that I thrive on the drama of bad news, this is a problem.
While there are certainly things that am irritated with here in Sweden (the housing situation, the less-than-challenging lectures, the LOUD music coming from my roommates room this very second), I'm generally finding this time to be very fulfilling. I enjoy thinking about sustainability issues, and even if I don't necessarily buy into all the stuff they talk about in class, it is challenging to try and sift through the rhetoric and discover ways to apply these new ideas to my own life. Which leads to the second problem: self-righteousness.
Now that I have a bunch of ideas on how to improve my life (de-materializing, getting rid of my car, composting), I want everyone around me to have similar epiphanies. For one thing, it's so much easier when a group commits to changing its behavior—I would have a common accountability, rather than just holding myself to these new ideals. But also, I want to feel like I'm making a difference in my peer group, and the easiest way to do that from here is to exhort my family and friends to make huge changes in their lives. On the other hand, I have a strong feeling that perhaps that can have the opposite effect, as the constant badgering creates a backlash against change.
Of course, I realize that the most convincing impetus to change is a personal example. So I suppose that I would be most effective by just living my own life, and letting people see that it makes me a better person AND helps the environment, society at large, etc. Ugh—what a responsibility. It's so much easier just to keep encouraging people to compost their kitchen scraps.
So, my new commitment is to stop recommending solutions to people and to just start living with these new values. Additionally, I want to try and move this online journal from a place to complain about things to a place where I evaluate both the positive and the negative—and where I determine my role in both sides of the situation. As I look at some of my colleagues' blogs, I'm struck at how they take issues and apply them to their personal lives, but still manage to speak to a larger audience. That will be my goal here.
I will now begin with a list of things I'm happy about today:
· The gray clouds and drizzly weather has finally passed and today is clear and crisp. The temperature has fallen dramatically in the past few days, and we now hover in the 40s. The trees are changing colors, and it view from my bedroom is breathtaking. Even though the wind is howling outside, it’s a cheery sound, complete with rustling leaves.
· The family upstairs seems to have achieved some sense of balance, and the yelling has abated quite a bit. Now that I feel confident in approaching them the next time it goes on for more than a few minutes, I can more easily bear the few spats that still arise.
· We're done with system dynamics! Afternoon classes were cancelled today, so I'm at home reading the next set of articles—all about environmental economics. Our guest lecturer is Christian Azar, former CEO of Electrolux and Volvo. He will be speaking to us primarily about climate change, and the economics of global warming. Here's the abstract from one of his papers:
Abstract - Are the economic costs of stabilising the atmosphere prohibitive?
By Christian Azar, Stephen H. Schneider
Macro economic studies of the costs of reducing CO2 emissions generally estimate the global cost of stabilising the atmospheric concentrations of CO2 in the range 350–550 ppm in trillions of USD. This creates the impression that the cost of CO2 reductions is so large that it threatens economic development. But, presented in another way, a completely different picture emerges. There is widespread agreement amongst the more pessimistic macro economic studies that stringent carbon controls are compatible with a significant increase in global and regional economic welfare. Even if the cost of CO2 abatement rises to 5% of global income per year by the end of this century, this reduction is minor compared with the tenfold increase in global income that is expected. Since income is assumed to grow by a couple of percent per year, the trillion USD cost could also be expressed as a few years delay in achieving an order of magnitude higher income levels. Similar observations can also be made as regards near-term abatement targets such as the Kyoto protocol. A more widespread recognition of the fact that carbon abatement policies will only marginally affect economic growth is likely to increase the willingness to introduce carbon abatement policies.
· I got a package from La today. I knew it had arrived, but hadn't had a chance until today to pick it up from the post office. I'm so glad I did, because it contains all sorts of goodies, including the Garden State soundtrack. Ahh, good music. There is currently Raggajungle blasting from the next room, so I'll have to wait until later to enjoy it uninterrupted.
· Since class was cancelled this afternoon, I can continue reading my new book (courtesy of the BTH library), The Robber Bride, by Margaret Atwood. I started it a couple days ago, but haven't been able to find any chunk of time to really get into it. From what I've read, however, I think I'm really going to enjoy it. There's also the possibility of a nap!
And now, another installment of:
INTERESTING THINGS TO THINK ABOUT
McDonald's is introducing (or re-introducing?) a sandwich, which is basically a hamburger with lettuce and tomato. Kind of like the Arch Burger, as I recall. What makes it weird is the advertising campaign. The billboard shows a mid-1800s B&W picture of a Mexican bolero singer. He has a huge sombrero, a striped poncho, a handlebar mustache—you get the picture. Towards the bottom of the poster is a color picture of the sandwich, with the caption, "Return of the Legendary EL MACO". Now, this seems strange to me. Is this advertising campaign being used around the world, or just in Sweden? Would people here understand the concept of "El Maco"? Is there some implication that Mexican guitarists enjoyed sandwiches of this nature? Every time I ride my bike past this poster (it's on one of the bus station walls), I think about these questions—which is probably the entire point of the campaign, getting people to think about the product.
Posted by madchen at 08:41 PM | Comments (0)October 12, 2004
Home at Last
Today was full of ups and downs. I had my first run in with asthma since arriving in Sweden during my morning routine. Of course, it was my own fault. When I have a cold I'm more succeptible to asthma attacks, and that is further exacerbated when I'm running around. So of course, I overslept this morning, and in the subsequent rush to get out the door, I started wheezing. Ugly. I ended up having to use my inhaler and take a 20 minute "slow, deep breathing" respite before resuming progress. As a result, I had to move even slower, and had to forgo the bike for the bus--and to make a long story short, I didn't make it to class until nearly 11 a.m. I will be more careful in the future. I think the sudden shift to cold weather is also having an impact--I can tell that my lungs have a harder time adjusting when I come in from being out in the cold (like any time I ride my bike). What a pain.
Class was more causal loop diagrams--I'll refrain from rehashing the gory details.
I took the bus home after class and managed a quick nap before setting off for our program's Thanksgiving celebration. I collected a set of dinnerware and a frying pan and hopped on my bike (figuring the asthma had plenty of time to subside since the morning). I stopped off at Frukt Huset, picked up some milk and turkey salami (the closest thing I could find to sausage), and headed down to Minnervavagen, the campus dormitories. There I met up with nearly 40 other students (some from our program, some other international students) where we celebrated a Canadian/American Thanksgiving. Considering that we were cooking a complete Thanksgiving spread for 40 people in a tiny common room, we did amazingly well. There were two turkeys, a chicken, gravy, wild rice, brussel sprouts, stuffing, ligonberry sauce, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, beet salad, glazed carrots, rolls, 10-grain bread, hummus, apple and pear cider, white wine, red wine, a nut loaf, apple pie, pumpkin pie, coconut cream pie, ice cream, cookies, and other things that I can't seem to remember.
My contribution was gravy, made from a combination of chicken drippings, turkey salami (in place of the sausage), flour, and milk. It was the first time I'd tried making it on my own, and it came out surprisingly well--everyone was quite complimentary.
The meal was great, and it was really amazing to see so many people turn up for an event that was announced at the last minute and held on a weeknight (and especially when you consider that class ran until 4 p.m. that day!). Laura (as the chief Canadian representative) gave a brief talk on things she was thankful for. I really appreciated how she framed things in terms of sustainability--when our family does the "things I'm thankful for" routine, we rarely discuss environmental issues like:
* being thankful for the farmers who work 14 hours a day, 363 days a year, to harvest the food we enjoy
* being thankful for the soil fertility that allows good things to be grown (interesting to note that soil fertility is rapidly decreasing in nearly every part of the world!)
* being thankful for time to spend with friends
Anyway, it was lovely and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Now I'm back home and ready to get into bed. We have ANOTHER day of causal loop diagrams
October 11, 2004
Causal Loop Diagrams
I spent all day in class learning (or re-learning, since I was one of the people who actually READ the material ahead of time) causal loop diagrams and reference behavior patterns. Here is a brief explanation:
CAUSAL LOOP DIAGRAMS
Causal loop diagrams (CLDs) are a kind of systems thinking tool. These diagrams consist of arrows connecting variables (things that change over time) in a way that shows how one variable affects another. Here are some examples:
Each arrow in a causal loop diagram is labeled with an "s" or an "o." "S" means that when the first variable changes, the second one changes in the same direction (for example, as your anxiety at work goes up, the number of mistakes you make goes up, too). "O" means that the first variables causes a change in the opposite direction in the second variable (for example, the more relaxation exercises you do, the less stressed you feel).
In CLDs, the arrows come together to form loops, and each loop is labeled with an "R" or a "B." "R" means reinforcing; i.e., the causal relationships within the loop create exponential growth or collapse. (For instance, the more anxious you are at work, the more mistakes you make, and as you make more mistakes, you get even more anxious, and so on, in a vicious, upward spiral). "B" means balancing; i.e., the causal influences in the loop keep things in equilibrium. (For example, if you feel more stressed, you do more relaxation exercises, which brings your stress level down.)
CLDs can contain many different "R" and "B" loops, all connected together with arrows. By drawing these diagrams with your work team or other colleagues, you can get a rich array of perspectives on what's happening in your organization. You can then look for ways to make changes so as to improve things. For example, by understanding the connection between anxiety and mistakes, you could look for ways to reduce anxiety in your organization.
Whatever. I was VERY, VERY bored. So I wrote down a list of things I would like to buy (going along with my whole "less is more" philosophy, you know). It's amazing how a shift in personal motivation (in this case, my desire to become sustainable) has NO impact on my desire to consume. Now I just want to buy "sustainable" things--like compost bins, organic clothing, etc.
So now I'm off to bed, feeling very contented with my paper being written, my dinner being eaten (with leftovers for lunch tomorrow--it's another all day Systems Dynamics lecture and workshop), and my sheets finally being dried (after Saturday's laundry debacle). Ta-ta, my babies!
Posted by madchen at 08:46 PM | Comments (0)September 21, 2004
Stupid Science
No class today, and I don't have much to report. I got a lot of sleep last night, and woke up at 9:30 a.m.—almost unheard of for days when I can sleep as much as I want. I got up, ate breakfast, and continued listening to Three Weeks With My Brother by Nicholas Sparks, which I started last night. The next thing I knew it was noon and I was still wandering around the apartment, washing dishes, and listening to the audiobook. Around 3 p.m. I finished the book. Having decided that I had wasted enough of my day, I settled down to read the next chapter of my coursebook—which was all about the science of sustainability.
Please note the following sentence, which is indicative of the entire 50 page chapter:
If a system and its surroundings taken together is an isolated system, the entropy change of the combined system is, of course, always positive or, in the limit, zero.
Well of course it is—any simpleton could understand that! Here's another one:
It is impossible for any system to operate in a thermodynamic cycle and deliver a net amount of energy by work to its surroundings while receiving energy by heat from a single thermal reservoir. (A thermal reservoir is an idealized system that is so "big" that it always as the same temperature and pressure although energy is added or removed.) It is easy to see that this statement implies, for example, that it is impossible to construct an engine that could propel a ship by extracting energy from the water of the oceans it crosses (which includes enormous amounts of energy). However, the statement doesn't rule out the possibility of actually extracting energy by work from a single reservoir—as long as the process is not a cycle. Neither does it rule out the possibility of a cycle to deliver energy by work from the surrounding to a single reservoir.
Huh?
I am experiencing growing frustration with the coursebook, which is of poor quality—both in content and in overall grammar/language. I've been talking to Jess about it and I think I will volunteer to help edit the coursebook for the next year. In fact, I think it would be helpful to completely eliminate the coursebook and just rely on the primary materials—like the 17 books listed on the program website. I ordered all of these books (at no insignificant price) and have been bored stiff reading them—because they so closely resemble information in the coursebook. In fact, large parts of our coursebook are lifted verbatim from the original texts (no doubt violating copyright laws—which seem to follow me from place to place), but have been carelessly compiled (or sometimes clumsily rewritten) so as to lose the clarity and conviction of the original works. Grr. I hate shoddy work.
So now I'm all fired up about the program, and am not looking forward to class tomorrow. Fortunately, I have the forethought to bring extra clothes to ward off the freezer-like temperatures of the lecture room. After class (which ends at noon, thank goodness) I'll come back and do a quick load of laundry (hopefully the dryer will continue to work this week) and go back down to campus for a bonfire to celebrate the autumnal equinox.
Posted by madchen at 09:04 PM | Comments (0)September 18, 2004
Weekend
Hmm, where did I leave off? Oh yes, exams.
I spend the remainder of the afternoon in a group exam—which went surprisingly well. We were asked to analyze the sustainability problems associated with a hypothetical tourism company. We were pre-assigned into groups of three and given an hour and half to complete our analysis. By the end, we were all drained. Having been through group presentations on Thursday, individual exams on Friday morning, and another group exam on Friday afternoon, we were definitely ready for some non-sustainability fun.
But first, there was the matter of the used bikes to attend to—the "Ronneby Man" came by campus at 4 p.m. and unloaded 8-10 bikes in front of the International Office. As luck would have it, I was a couple of minutes late, and by the time I arrived, all the bikes had been claimed by bike-hungry SLS students. Which wasn't so terrible as they were all in pretty shoddy shape (rusty, worn-out tires, etc.), but I was a little sad that there wasn't one for me.
Disappointed that I was still ambulatory only by the mercy of my own two feet, I stopped by the International Office and was cheered to discover that one of my boxes from Amazon.com had arrived—and with it the majority of my course books. So I lugged the box on the bus and went back to the apartment for a quick cleaning and a quesadilla (I was famished) before heading back out to town. Some of the students had organized a group dinner at the Bredgartan apartments, so I swung by the Spar and picked up ice cream to contribute. The dinner was a casual affair, with about 20 students from the program and an eclectic mix of dishes. I tried pickled herring for the first (and LAST) time, and was quite displeased with the spongy texture. But, hey, I'm a trooper. Dessert was a success, with Amity's delicious chocolate cake and my ice cream.
Feeling quite stuffed, at 9 p.m. we trooped off to Buddha Bar, a delightful venue with cushy sofas, a well-stocked bar (2-1 drinks from 6 p.m. to 12 a.m.), and a lively dance floor. We "decompressed" from our exams, did a little dancing to bad American music (80s, mostly), and generally had a good time. I had an "orgasm" (imagine having to ask the bartenders for "two orgasms, please" to get the 2-1 deal) made of Baileys, Kalhua, and milk—yum, yum, yum. Later I had a secret concoction that tasted something like pink lemonade, but that packed an extremely potent punch. It was the first alcohol I'd had since arriving in Sweden, so I was feeling quite cheerful by the time we all decided to try out the dance floor. There was also an incident involving a poorly marked men's room, but I'll leave the details to your imagination.
At any rate, by the time midnight rolled around, I found myself wandering the streets of Karlskrona with Siti. Not wandering the streets because I was intoxicated, mind you, but because we had missed the last normal bus and had 40 minutes until the "midnight" bus came around. Rather than sit around and wait with the drunk Swedish youth, we decided to walk through the town center towards the campus, and just wait at a quieter bus stop. It was a crisp, clear night, and we enjoyed a delightful walk along the water's edge, discussing crime statistics in our respective cities (D.C. and Kuala Lumpur). We managed to find the right bus stop after only one major mistake (we missed the turnoff for the underpass and ended up halfway to the highway) and were back in Kungsmarksvägen around 1 a.m.
I did a little reading—I'm now engrossed in The Remains of the Day—before falling asleep. Apparently, Roya and Jess got home some time after 3 a.m. (the bars stay open quite late), but I was dead to the world, and didn't get up until just after 10 a.m. this morning.
I spent a leisurely morning reading my book, having breakfast (an odd combination of egg noodles and vegetable broth—a little like Ramen), and taking a shower in the oh-so-lovely curtained bathtub. By noon I was out at the bus stop, catching a bus to Amiralen. Well, not so much Amiralen as the sports store down the street from Amiralen (which I could have gone directly to, but I took the wrong bus). Long story short, I am the proud owner of a new bike!
I decided yesterday that it would be worth purchasing a new bike, since I don't own one back in America. When I'm done here, I'll just bring it with me to my new place (which I'm starting to think might be Europe, rather than the US). Anyway, it's wicked cool (oh, too much time spent with Boston people!) and cost me more than I can reasonably justify. But I don't care, because now I have a bike!
The guy at the bike shop was really funny, and very helpful. He let me take out several bikes to try out on the road. I rode each of them on one of the trails behind the shop, back and forth past a tiny pasture with cows and sheep that looked at my askance every time I passed by. I think perhaps they were thrown off by all the tags attached to the bike (warranty information, price tag, features list, etc.) blowing frantically in the wind.
After a couple of tries, I found the bike for me. It's a mountain bike, with 7 gears, a back-wheel lock, and front and back lights. I also got a pannier to attach to the side, so that I can carry books and my laptop back and forth to school. All in all, I was quite satisfied. I rode the bike back to Amiralen, stopping in at Coop Forum (I believe it's actually Co-op Forum, but everyone here pronounces it "coop") for some groceries. Realizing that I would have to ride back home with my backpack (carrying a not insubstantial load in itself) and the groceries, I only got a bunch of apples, oranges, a loaf of bread, a bottle of water, a soda, and a chocolate bar. Still, it was quite the unexpected shock to realize how heavy the bike was once everything was loaded.
I rode the bike back home, only having to stop once to check my map (the trails, which are everywhere, don't really follow the main roads). I ended up walking the bike up the final hill, which was just too steep. Unfortunately, I accidentally caught the back of my calf on one of the pedals as I walked, scraping all the skin off my ankle and leaving a huge bruise. Just biting my lip and suffering through the hill would definitely have been less of an ordeal.
Getting in the apartment was an exercise in creativity, as I had to prop the bike vertically in the elevator to make it fit. I brought it in my room, where it currently resides in the area between my bed and the bookshelf. It is quite fancy, and I've stopped at the entrance to the door several times just to look at it in awe.
Feeling quite exhausted from my trek back home (which actually only took about a half hour, but used previously ignored muscle groups), I laid down on my bed and read for a but, and even managed to squeeze in a brief nap before going downstairs to Tomomi and Birte's apartment (directly below us) for a sushi dinner. They did a great job of compiling all the sushi ingredients, and they arranged it for make-your-own sushi. They even managed to find a tube of wasabi, which created a pleasant burning sensation in my sinuses for most of the evening.
There were nearly a dozen of us for dinner, so Tomomi and Birte converted their empty living room into a picnic area, complete with blow-up mattresses and rugs for us to sit on. And so we spent the night making sushi (ingredients included salmon, tuna, cucumbers, avocado, asparagus, egg, carrots, etc.) and discussing our weekend plans.
Nearly everyone is planning on going to Aspö tomorrow for the arts show, so we've made plans to meet at the ferry tomorrow at 1:15 p.m. I've been told that the ferry is quite gentle and only 20 minutes in length, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that there won't be any unpleasant seasickness incidents. I'll be bringing my bike, as several of us want to ride around the island after the arts tour. I'm not sure that my poor legs are up to an extended ride (after all, I'll still have to bike back home afterwards!), but I thought I would try it out.
Now it's almost eleven and I'm back at home, ready for bed. I'll probably finish The Remains of the Day (winner of the 1989 Booker Prize, and quite excellent) tonight, leaving only Women in Love left. And, of course, now I also have 10 sustainability-related books to read in my spare time.
Also exciting, I received a notice in the mail yesterday to the effect that I have a package waiting for me at the local post office. I didn't manage to get there today, so I'll have to wait until Monday to pick it up. I think it must be goodies from my mom…I can't remember exactly what she said she was sending, but I remember being quite enthusiastic.
Posted by madchen at 09:05 PM | Comments (0)September 15, 2004
Waddup?
Today has turned from a beautiful, breezy morning to a drab, blustery noon. I'm sitting at one of the desks in the library, looking out the window to the ocean. I suppose I haven't spent a lot of time discussing the layout of the campus, so let me do it now.
The Karlskrona campus is tiny--just 5 buildings arranged around a central green area. It was once a military training site, which explains the sharp angles and sparse architecture. The exception is the library, built just a few years ago by one of Sweden's top designers. The library sits on the edge of campus, between the main buildings and the ocean. You can walk straight out of the library, down a path, and end up on a small dock, where students occasionally tie up their sailboats. You can also walk around the edge of the water--marshy reeds to the left, a sandy strip of beach to the right. The land is shaped so that the water near the school is actually a cove, and it's quite calm until you get about 500 meters out and the inlet opens up to the main part of the archipelago.
There are dozens of tiny islands (the majority of them unoccupied) around Karlskrona, and submerged bits of land make sailing treacherous without a good map. Several of the main islands are linked by bridges, but you have to take a ferry to others.
That about covers my ability to describe the city. I tried to find a map, but they all seem to be interactive and therefore not journal-friendly. Suffice it to say that there are myriad islands, all of which have their own special charm. I'm hoping to buy a bicycle on Friday to aid in my exploration of the area. Keep your fingers crossed!
There's nothing much to report--today was largely an exercise in more group work. We're in the final stages of planning our group presentation (to be given tomorrow). I finished my portion early, so I have a little bit of time to play around in the library and get caught up on international news.
I have a nagging feeling that there is something planned for this evening--but I'm at a loss to provide more detail.
Posted by madchen at 09:08 PMSeptember 10, 2004
Salsa
Yesterday, we had a full 5 hours of class—including 2 hours of presentations from the SLS students. Each of us stood up and gave a 2 minute presentation about ourselves. I had jotted some notes down, but ended up just speaking spontaneously about my background and my observations of the class. I was amazed to hear everyone's story—however brief—and it made me realize how fortunate I am to be here in this program.
After class, I went to a meeting to discuss my orientation experience with others. We came up with a rather long list of structural changes the University needs to make for next year's international students (furniture in the apartments, class schedules, better notification of the housing situation, etc.), which will be compiled by the group and forwarded to the school administration.
Our meeting took just over two hours (there was a BUNCH of "constructive criticism"), after which a bunch of us walked up to Jo's apartment at Minervavägen—the on-campus housing. We had coffee (yum, caffeine!) and discussed differences in pronunciation between British and American English (for heaven's sake—just admit that it's procEss, not prOcess.)
And then, the highlight of my day: salsa class. That's right—I spent two and a half hours learning how to dance the salsa. Of course, the instruction was entirely in Swedish, and the girls outnumber the guys 2-1, but it was all worth it. I discovered that I am an excellent pseudo-man when it comes to leading. In fact, having danced with 3 girls and 3 guys, I can say without a doubt that the girls were significantly better dancers than the guys. No wonder the guys in our program refused to come (except for Alvaro, who was bullied into it by the SLS girls). It was the first class in a series of 6, so my Thursday evenings are booked for the next month or so.
Today, I slept in (it's hard to believe that 9 a.m. now qualifies as sleeping in) and missed the bus—not because I slept in, but because I couldn't find my bus pass in time. At any rate, I made it to class late, but not too late since we got bogged down in administrative crap. As always. We got our assignments for next week—this time, we're responsible for forming groups of 6-8 and presenting a 5 minutes explanation of the "ABCD" process (the "Backcasting from Principles). It's like a mini-exam that takes place on Friday, but it seems so simple that I'm not sure why classes are cancelled for next week so that we can practice. Initially, I was really excited, thinking that I could make a quick trip to Copenhagen. But no, our group has decided to meet bright and early Monday morning to begin the project.
After class broke for the day, I stopped by the school library (the bibliotek, if you please) and got a library card, which allowed me to check out a new fun book (anything but more sustainability reading!!) "Possession" by A.S. Byatt. It won the 1990 Booker Prize, and was made into a tedious movie starring Gwynth Paltrow (which I didn't see). Anyway, I was very excited about it, and have promised myself that I won't start reading it until I have finished the assigned reading in the program coursebook.
Then I went and had lunch with Kerily and Ronan at a Chinese buffet (cheap, but average food). Then it was off to Ahlens to pick up a shower curtain, a shower rack (to organize all our shower products), and a blanket (for when I need a little something while reading).
With my new purchases in tow, I skipped off to the Park, where I sat in the afternoon sun and read my coursebook, which is becoming painfully repetitive. I managed to plow through another couple dozen pages before the sun went behind the trees and I got too cold to continue. I hopped back on the bus back to my place, where I ran into Kerily again. She invited me along to dinner at Karl's place, which I happily accepted.
Dinner was great—I got to chat with a bunch of people I don't really know that well. It was 6 of us in all—Karl, Ronan, Archie, Kerily, Amy and me. Karl made an amazing chicken curry with an eggplant side dish that was delicious. We drank wine, played rummy (with some crazy Canadian rules), and heard stories about the guys blowing up pipe bombs and hotwiring cars in their youth. Good times. It was a beautiful night, so we walked back to campus, and then I caught a bus the rest of the way back to my place. I'm thinking that I definitely need to get a bike—this waiting around for the bus all the time is wretched.
Posted by madchen at 09:11 PM | Comments (0)September 06, 2004
Week 2
The second week of classes began today, and for once I actually felt like I was in college. Karl-Hendrik led a series of lecture/discussions based on the Natural Step philosophy, which I'm finding intriguing.
I'm new to the whole Natural Step framework, which puts me in a slightly different category than most people in the program. It basically integrates strategic organization planning with systems thinking. What, you're thinking? Well, check out the website for more information…
For me, the biggest surprise is that I'm finding the strategic organizational planning portion of the class to be useful for personal decision-making—particularly as I start to consider where I want to go once I graduate this spring. As many of you probably know, I accepted entry into this program largely as a way to escape my previous job with dignity. Of course I was interested in the program, but this year in Sweden was mainly a means to an end—a "responsible" way to quit my job and move abroad. I felt the need for a big change—and this Master's Program in Sweden offered me that change. But as for where I thought this degree would take me, well…I'm not sure.
I tend to make big, life-changing decisions through a pattern where I gradually grow discontented with something (a job, relationship, home, etc.) until a dam bursts and I make a huge decision in a rapid timeframe. The speed with which I bought my condo springs to mind as an example.
For the most part, these changes have been for the better. On the other hand, I rarely have an idea of where I'm going in the long-term. And now that I've dropped everything and come to Sweden, that worries me a little.
Enter strategic organizational planning (or "Backcasting from Principles", the specific type of planning we're using)—which works for any complex system, like an individual, company, community, municipality, or entire biosphere.
1. First, you decide on the system conditions and boundaries. That is, you have to understand the rules by which your "system" operates. If I'm the system, my system conditions would include things like gender, life expectancy, citizenship, etc.
2. Next, you choose principles for success. For me, I ask "what would a successful life look like?" From this question, I develop several principles on which my planning will be based.
3. Then, I brainstorm strategies that will take me towards my definition of success. Each strategy must comply with all my principles for success, and be constructed within the "system" boundaries.
4. Once I have strategies in mind, I can construct actions (more specific than strategies) to take me towards success.
5. Finally, I choose tools to help me achieve my chosen course of action, using the strategies designed to guide me towards success within my system boundaries.
So you see, it's all very simple—I have decided to become a clown.
Well, not really. There is another model that is designed to help you decide which strategies, actions, and tools to use to get to "success"—because the Systems/Success/Strategies/Actions/Tools design alone doesn't help you prioritize which strategies will be most effective. So, there's a Step B. (Isn't there always?)
1. First, you reiterate the system boundaries.
2. Second, you analyze your current state.
3. Third, you envision where you'd like to be ("success").
4. Fourth, you decide which strategies (devised under Step A) most effectively move you from "B" to "C". This is accomplished by asking yourself, does Strategy X:
1. Move me in the right direction?
2. Provide a flexible platform, so that I can easily adapt to changing circumstances?
3. Provide an adequate return on investment? (That is, is it worth the effort involved?)
I'm not explaining it very well, but it's really an elegant mechanism for decision making. And I'm in the process of running my life through the process and seeing what shakes out. Right now it's all in my head, but once I get something committed to paper, I'll put it in the online journal.
But before I get to my reading for the evening, let me recap my day.
I took a shower last night, using the amazingly effective "IKEA bed plastic packaging" shower curtain. As a result, I got to sleep in until 7:20 a.m. while Roya and Jess got up earlier. I managed to get to class a little early, so I was able to check email (where I was sorely disappointed about the lack of email from the States—is it Labor Day that causes such a lack of entertaining communication? I didn't even have anything from my family! Tsk, tsk.)
Class ran until noon, when I went straight to the library to finish email and internet tasks (finally, my Quicken is resolved!). Then I took the bus back home, stopping at Willy:s on the way for groceries. Once home, I quickly unpacked, ate some leftover couscous, and got back on the bus to Centrum. I stopped in at Karlskronaham (the apartment company) and paid rent and submitted my list of complaints. After that, I tried to find Scotty's house (he had invited me over for a cup of coffee), but after wandering about for 15 minutes I gave up and went to the ice cream parlor. I indulged in hazelnut ice cream while reading the introduction to my coursebook, then decided that my quality of life would significantly improve with some curtains. So off to Spar I went—choosing a curtain rod, curtains, and a matching pillow for the bed.
Having spent more than I planned, I took the bus (yet again) back to campus, where I sat in on the last part of a group meeting (about creating a program brochure) before attending my first Swedish class. All I have to say about that is: Hej! Hej! Jag hetter Jennifer. Jag talar Engelska. Tack så mycket!
After an all to brief Swedish lesson (that was incredibly heavy on administrative matters), I came home and prepared a lovely dinner of pasta with mozzarella, avocado, and tomatoes (I've eaten pounds and pounds of tomatoes since I've been here). In between typing up my day's notes, Roya came home and helped me install my new curtain rod and curtains. They look lovely, and I'll upload pictures soon.
That's about it. I did get my first mail delivered right to my apartment door. It consisted of a New Yorker magazine forwarded from my mom, and two Thank You cards from my friend Laurel, who is expecting a baby any moment now. It was delightful to get tangible material from home, and I encourage everyone to send stuff immediately!
In other news: Poor Jess has a terrible cold/fever, which I am trying to avoid. In fact, a good 1/3 of the class has suddenly come down with cold/flu symptoms. We're attributing it to different strains of viruses for which we haven't built up immunities. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, and have decided that denial is the best defense against my increasing sneezes and congestion. With the current rate of contagion, my health is at serious risk. Perhaps eating more chocolate would help? It's worth a try…
Posted by madchen at 11:07 PM | Comments (0)September 05, 2004
Kayaking
Let's see, where was I? After lunch break on Friday, we continued our classes until 3:15 p.m. The princess was quiet, and didn't really affect the lectures that much. I enjoyed hearing Karl-Hendrik speak, and I am really looking forward to next week's lectures, as they will cover information I haven't already read about in the coursebook.
After class, I went downtown and ran a few errands. I picked up Q-tips and hair de-frizzer at the drug store (like a CVS, but only with beauty products). I re-charged my mobile phone (hurrah for outgoing calls!) and did some grocery shopping. While at Spar, I ran into Birte who told me that Scotty was hosting dinner at his place in Bredgartan. I added a bag of chips to my basket and we agreed to meet at the Kungsmarksvägen bus stop to ride over to Scotty's together. We parted ways, and I went back to the apartment.
Birte ended up running late, so I took the bus over to Centrum alone, running into Mitch on the way. Mitch was on his way to Rene's house, where there was another group dinner in the works. He hopped off the bus at campus, and I continued on alone. I met Paulo and Tomomi at the Tourist Bureau, where we had arranged a central meeting point for those who didn't know where Scotty lived. We walked over together, and arrived a few minutes later to find a dozen people at Scotty's. By the end of the evening, we totally 22 people—it was quite a feast!
Renaud coordinated the dinner, which consisted of a cream-based sauce over pasta. People had brought a variety of bread, appetizers, desserts, and drinks, so there was plenty to go around. Because there were so many of us, we ended up having to cook the pasta in 4 different pots and the sauce in 2 big pans, and it was a funny sight to see 6 pots and pans being juggled between just 4 burners. Additionally, everyone had brought their own plates and silverware, since last time we ended up drinking our pasta out of plastic cups.
The best part of the party was seeing people break into smaller groups to pursue different activities (the dinner-makers, the TV-watchers, the table-chatters). So often I think we feel obligated to be part of one cohesive group, and that can really kill the atmosphere of a party.
Anyway, dinner was fantastic and the rest of the night went swimmingly. We played fun games, watched the news (where there was an all-too-brief segment on the Crown Princess's visit to our class—none of us made it on the screen), and generally had a good time. By 11:30 p.m., many of us were starting to fade, so a group of us said good-bye and headed for the bus.
Walking outside Scotty's apartment, I saw a new side of Sweden—the drunk, raucous side. There were hordes of young Swedish guys EVERYWHERE. Most of them were drinking on the streets (public drinking is allowed some places in Karlskrona, but since no one knows which places are ok and which are forbidden, the rule is never enforced), and the volume and violence seemed to escalate as we approached the town center. I was walking with Siti, the others having fallen behind, and we were amazed to see people throwing bottles into the town center and having mini-fights all along the main street (Ronnebygatan). There was no police presence, and it was a little disconcerting to walk right through these packs of boys. It made me a little nervous (I felt so old!) but I don't think we were in any real danger—except for possibly being hit by a misguided beer bottle. Discussing it later, we decided it was a combination of the young drinking age (18), the lax rules about drinking in public, and the timing—this was the first weekend in the school year. We'll see if it's similarly out-of-control next weekend.
Our group ended up taking the night bus home (the regular bus stops running at 11:30 p.m.), and it was filled with thin, pasty Goth kids and young Swedish women (apparently still capable of walking in a straight line—unlike their male counterparts).
The next morning I woke up bright and early, quickly eating breakfast, making lunch, and getting dressed. I hopped on the bus to Centrum, where I did a quick survey of the farmers market, looking for Jess (our new roommate) so I could give her a set of keys. She wasn't there, so I quickly hopped back on the bus, meeting Birte and Siti. We took the bus out to Saltö, then walked up to Dragsö, meeting Kevin along the way. The four of us made our way out to the campgrounds, where we rented 2 kayaks and a canoe for the day. While we were setting up, Tomomi joined us, bringing the group to five. Kevin, an experience kayaker, gave us a quick lesson in escaping the boat if it tipped (a nervous thought!), and we were off. Birte and I took the first shift in the kayaks, with Kevin, Siti, and Tomomi in the canoe. We later discovered that the canoe was only meant for two people, which explained why it was so sluggish.
The day was beautiful, and perfect for kayaking. Because we started in the archipelago, the water was perfectly smooth, and there was none of the pesky wind that so often plagues the islands. The sky was amazingly clear, and it was so quiet you could hear the reeds rustling along the banks. I won't mention the birds—suffice it to say that they were plentiful as well, but stayed clear of our group.
It was hard to believe we were kayaking in the Baltic Sea—it looked more like a large lake. As we maneuvered north around the island, we switched places—me and Birte paddling the canoe (with Kevin in the middle), and Siti and Tomomi in the kayaks. We paddled this way down through the town center, around bunched of tiny islands, and eventually stopped for lunch on a lump of rock and grasses. By then, we were in the shipping lanes and the wind and waves had picked up significantly. I was exhausted from 3 hours of kayaking and paddling the canoe (I never appreciated how much work steering a canoe is!) and volunteered to be in the middle seat of the canoe for the next leg of the journey. That proved to be a bad idea, since Siti and Tomomi were the canoe paddlers, and their combined arm muscle wasn't enough to get the canoe going in the right direction through the choppy waters. After a half hour of struggling to another shore, we switched again—me and Tomomi in the kayaks, Birte and Kevin paddling the canoe, and Siti in the middle.
With more than 2/3 of the journey complete, the inevitable happened: I fell in the water. It wasn't a spectacular wave that did me in, oh no. I tipped the kayak while trying to get in. Fortunately, the water only came up to my chest, but I was soaked from my knees to my chest. Not wearing a bathing suit, I was pretty miserable for the rest of the trip back to the beach. But I persisted, and enjoyed the aching muscles and waning sun.
We got back to the beach around 3 p.m., where we promptly laid our gear out in the sun. Kevin and Birte went back out in the kayaks to practice Eskimo rolls, while Siti and I tried to dry off. Tomomi left to go visit the farmers market. At some point, everyone came back to the beach and dried off (as best we could—by then it was only about 65-70 degrees, although still sunny). At 4 p.m. we gathered our stuff and walked back to Saltö, where we caught the bus home. We agreed to meet at 6 p.m. at my apartment for dinner.
I immediately hopped in the bath, where I soaked for an hour. Once I was finally warm, I hopped out and got dressed, just in time to let Jessica in the apartment. She had brought all of her stuff over from Nattraby (where she was previously staying), and quickly moved into the living room.
Soon afterwards, Siti and Birte joined us, and the 4 of us had a lovely dinner of pasta and chicken. The kayaking group was wiped out, so we called it an early night. Roya finally made it home (after getting a flat tire during her bike ride), and she and Jessica went to another party in town. I was invited, but just couldn't tear myself away from my soft, fluff bed. I was asleep by 10 p.m. and didn't even hear Roya and Jessica when they got back.
This morning I was up at 9 a.m., awaking to another beautiful day (not quite as nice as yesterday, but I'm not picky). I had a leftover sandwich from yesterday for breakfast (I'm hoping that the cream cheese didn't go bad during the 6 hours it was in my bag before I put it back in the refrigerator) as well as some yogurt with granola. Yum, yum, yum.
I've eased into the day, and at 11 a.m., am still in my pajamas (although the bed is made, dishes are done, and this lovely journal entry is almost complete). I'm not sure what I'll do for the rest of the day—I'd like to do some more reading before classes start tomorrow. On the other hand, I feel like I should be outside enjoying the warm weather (my definition of "warm" has definitely shifted in the last two weeks) while it lasts. If I can get my act together, I might go downtown and sit and read in the park. Or I might curl up in bed and try to get some reading in before an afternoon nap. I'm not sore from the kayaking (like I thought I would be), but I'm definitely still physically tired. No marathons for me today!
Posted by madchen at 11:08 PM | Comments (0)September 02, 2004
Process Overload
Well, as many of you might have guessed, I didn't get up at 7 a.m. as planned. Instead, I slept in until 9 a.m. and I don't feel a bit guilty about it. Class started at 10:30. and the majority of our time was spent reviewing the process of preparing the report. (I can't tell you how many times the word "process" has been used over the past week—it's mind boggling.)
We also discussed protocol for meeting the Swedish Crown Princess when she comes to visit us tomorrow. Honestly, you would think we were 4th graders getting to meet the President. Do you think we need to be told to be respectful? Or not to jump up from our seats and run full-force towards her (lest her security detail "forcefully restrain" us)? There was also a kind reminder not to come to class hung-over—duh!
Class broke at noon, and we all had a brown-bag lunch in our common room. Kristoffer, one of the Swedish guys in our program, shared with us an amazing presentation on the environmental and social standards in Sweden—and showed us pictures of "fair trade" and "organic" seals we might see on consumer products and food. We also learned a little bit about recycling in Sweden, something that's been on my mind since the cardboard pile has grown in enormous proportion in the 10 days. It's now threatening to take over the living room, and is a definite deterrent to any potential 3rd roommate.
In class news, Person "A" has been unexpectedly called back to the United States and will be leaving our program after Friday's class. So I will unfortunately have no more exciting reports on his antics.
I needed a little "alone" time after our lunch, so I came home (after visiting the library to check email and update my journal—discovering in the process that some emails from yesterday might have gotten bounced back because I was over my hotmail limit) for the afternoon. We received our coursebook and class schedule today, so I spent some time perusing that and reading a couple articles in preparation for tomorrow's lecture. Seems interesting, if redundant.
And then I spent some time trying to figure out what I want to do when this year is over. We've spend some time in class talking about "visioning"—that is, actively imagining the way you want things to be. I realized I don't really ever consciously take time out to think about the future—it just sort of comes to me. So I spent a few minutes trying to "see" my life in a year. You can imagine, of course, what happened next. I fell asleep.
I had this bizarre dream (clearly related to my thoughts prior to napping), where I lived in a giant bubble-house (made up of parachute material so it was very billowy) with some of the other SLS students. This was no ordinary house, but a whole series of connected bubble-rooms, one of which housed the bubble-royalty. Anyway, the dream was very random, but once again featured my secret love interest (this time, in a very platonic way—sigh).
Thankfully (for my sleeping schedule), the nap was only about an hour long. I woke back up to find a beautiful afternoon had emerged from a cloudy day. I opened up both of my windows to full capacity and propped myself up at the desk with my feet hanging outside. In this manner, I continued reading my coursebook until a knock on my door signaled that my new bed finally arrived!
I've now put together the new bed, given the old cot back to the Student Services people, and tested it out—very nice.
Currently, it's just after 8 p.m. and I'm going to stop typing and get ready for a fun evening of dancing at the Student Pub (on campus). I haven't been yet—I hear it's mostly 18-year old Swedish boys getting drunk, but the International Students make up their own little corner. So we'll see.
And now, a brief list of things I wish I brought with me:
* One of my belts.
* My messenger bag (a little dressier than my backpack).
* Bok choi (at least I wish I could buy it here, I've had a craving for days).
* A desk lamp.
* Some pictures for the walls.
* My curling iron.
* Band-Aids (I sliced my finger open this morning—on the dull side of the knife—while making lunch).
Yes, I could buy all these things, but I have them sitting in my parents' attic right now, collecting dusk. (Except for the desk lamp—I can't remember who took it.) Sigh.
Posted by madchen at 11:10 PM | Comments (0)September 01, 2004
Project Complete
Let me see, where should I start? Today I was up at 7 a.m. and out the door by 8 a.m. We had class in our usual classroom on the main campus, and once again our work centered around small group work. But since we were tasked with completing a report by 4 p.m., there was a least a sense of purpose in our actions. Being the proactive person that I am, I volunteered to be on the "editorial staff" designated to compile all the small group reports and generate the final version. Of course, this meant I stayed on campus all afternoon, and fought with the group of people who came to hash out the editing process. It was mentally and emotionally draining to deal with so many passionate people (especially those who couldn't seem to stick to the deadlines!). In the end, we managed to send in the final report at 4:06 p.m., and I think everyone was satisfied with the document.
I didn't get back to the apartment until 4:30 p.m, which gave me only a few minutes to relax, dry off (more rain today), and check my phone messages (more on that debacle later) before turning around and going back out again. Roya and I walked a couple blocks over to meet our neighbors for dinner. They were hosting a Kungsmarksvägen dinner for all the SLS students in the complex. We walked down to the Willy:s together and bought food for a vegetable stir fry. (I also managed to pick up some additional groceries for myself—the refrigerator was a barren wasteland.) Upon our return, there was fish chowder and salad waiting for us. The 10 of us happily ate the first courses while a couple of the other girls chopped, steamed, and stir-fried a wide-ranging combination of vegetables (mushrooms, eggplant, bell peppers, leek, etc.) Tomomi even made a Japanese sauce with soy sauce, ginger, and garlic. It was delicious. In fact, the whole dinner was great, as I got to talk with some people I hadn't really met before. We decided that we should make the dinner party a weekly event.
After chatting for a couple hours, Roya and I came back to the apartment, where I now sit typing this entry. I'm exhausted, and disappointed to see that there are no new beds waiting for us. Apparently, the date of arrival has been pushed back to Thursday, Friday, or possibly Monday. On a related note, complaints about the overall lack of support for international students have now reached the vice chancellor (the top guy) at the university. I certainly hope he can step in and make things happen—there are still people sleeping on the floor after more than a week of being here. While I try to be sympathetic about how difficult it must be to accommodate double the number of lack year's international students, BTH should really only accept as many students as they can reasonably accommodate. Should things not improve dramatically this week, I may be adding my voice to the clamor at the vice chancellor's office. So there!
And now, onto a little topic I like to call "Jennifer's Stalker".
Oh yes, what I initially thought was a friendly exchange between me and an Iraqi man has rapidly turned into gratuitous unwanted attention. In the last few days, I have received over a dozen calls (finally, my habit of leaving my mobile phone at home pays off!) and half a dozen text messages from Adam, a man I described in a previous post.
Initially I was invited out for dinner (alarm bells went off since it seemed there were romantic intonations—but nothing obvious enough to confront head-on). I thought I would give it a chance, since there was a possibility that this guy was just being friendly and I really would enjoy hearing an Iraqi's point of view on the world situation. Unfortunately, I couldn't make it on Tuesday night, so we agreed that he would call me later in the week to find another time. Then my phone ran out of pre-paid minutes, so I couldn't make any outgoing calls or text messages (although I can continue to receive them).
Since then, I have consistently (although unintentionally) missed Adam's calls, and have been unable to call him back or reply to his text messages. And the text messages have gotten increasingly desperate. They range from "I want to see you as soon as possible" to "I am worried about you" to "I am really worried about you, please text me as soon as possible." Sigh. It's only been two days, and we've only met once—it's not like I'm a close friend who has disappeared off the face of the earth.
Long story short, I am going to buy another pre-paid phone card tomorrow, at which point I will text him back and kindly explain that he has made me uncomfortable and I would rather not meet him at any point in the future. It will be a delicate operation, but I've had enough. It's just creepy.
While I'm sure he is harmless, I've been thinking about how easy stalking a person could be in Karlskrona—especially in Kungsmarksvägen when your key works for all the entryways of your building, and my name and apartment number are plastered in my entryway. Additionally, since I have no curtains, it would be super-easy to look in on me (even now as I sit right by the window at the desk). And we have a rather large mail slot with a swinging hinge, so it's possible to see into our apartments even if it's locked. (All of this information will be useful when I decide to start a little stalking of me own!)
Funnily enough, I got this email from my friend in Oslo today, in response to my previous post about Adam:
Watch out for the handsome Middle Eastern men. Just be smart about it. There are many who came to Norway and Sweden as refugees/asylees and would much rather be in an English-speaking country where the spirit of capitalism is still quite alive and kicking, i.e., the U.S., and don't mind getting married to do it...
Oh, how prophetic those words appear to be!
*Note to Mom and Dad: please don't freak out—I'm exaggerating this story for dramatic effect.
**Note to Other Readers: I'm not exaggerating, it's totally weird.
Ok, enough about that. I'm exhausted and so happy that my classes don't start until 10:15 a.m. tomorrow. If it stops raining, my goal is to get up at 7 a.m. (to keep a good schedule, you know), have a leisurely morning, and go downtown to pay my rent and complain about the apartment—all before heading to class. Or, I might just get up at 8 a.m. That's still reasonable, right? What about 9 a.m.?
Posted by madchen at 11:11 PM | Comments (0)August 31, 2004
Day Two of Classes
Day Two of Classes is over and I'm mentally exhausted. We spent the majority of time working in small groups and received our first assignment—to write a report detailing "Making SLS, Inc. [the pretend name for the Strategic Leadership Towards Sustainability group] the Best Learning Organization It Can Be". This report has no required length, format, or direction beyond the title. We are supposed to use our "Open Space Dialogue" process to break into small groups to form the chapters of the report, which is due tomorrow at 4 p.m.
Now, the entire class has to discuss, write, and reach consensus on the report in less than 24 hours, using a process that is inefficient at best. Trying to get 50 "leaders" to agree on anything, particularly something as complex as how to structure our program for success, is a disaster waiting to happen. Consider for a moment: it took us 1.5 hours yesterday to decide not to make a decision about our common room.
I nearly went out of my mind during the final small group session—we are largely a group that likes to expound on ideas rather than commit to a plan. So I took the afternoon off (some other small groups continued to meet informally—but one of our rules for small group is "whoever shows up is the right people" so I don't feel bad) and went shopping for groceries and a rug.
I'm now the proud owner of a bamboo rug, which I'm admiring while the newly-purchased potatoes roast in the oven. My plans for the evening include reading my book, killing errant bugs that wandered in last night when the window was open, and going to bed early. I've been getting up at 7 a.m. for classes, which makes it hard to get to bed early enough to get my 8 (or 9, to be honest) of necessary sleep.
It was gray and drizzly all day, after brief rays of sunshine in the morning. It has effectively killed any chance for a cheery mood, making it even more difficult to be a good "team player" during these stupid exercises. I am REALLY looking forward to the lectures that begin on Friday. Even breaking into permanent small groups would be a step forward, rather than the revolving small group sessions that require larger group consensus at regular intervals. Its strange that I really enjoy people on an individual basis, but get so impatient when we're structured into a classroom setting. I suppose that says more about me than them (I'm self-centered, impatient, arrogant, etc.), but my response is bah humbug! When I'm running the world, things will be different!
But fear not: there is GOOD NEWS! Our real beds arrive tomorrow, thus completing the furnishing of our student housing. I will be ecstatic to sleep on a mattress that conceals the shapes of the slats underneath (in the morning I have a crease on my back from the middle slat).
Roommate Update: We just found out that adding a third roommate is going to be more difficult than we anticipated. Rather than having the housing company add a third person on the lease, Roya and I will have to informally rent it out ourselves. The new person would have to pay us rent (creating all sorts of reliability issues), and we would have to furnish the room ourselves (an added expense we thought Student Services would take care of). So, we'll talk to Jessica (our latest possibility) about the change in circumstance tomorrow and see what she says.
Posted by madchen at 11:12 PM | Comments (0)August 30, 2004
School and a Surprise
Today was the first day of classes, and boy was it a learning experience.
All told, there are about 40 of us in the Strategic Leadership Towards Sustainability program, ranging from people in their twenties to mid-fifties. There are at least a dozen nationalities represented, but half the program consists of North Americans (11 Canadians and 10 American) so there is a definite cultural skew. We have diversity beyond mere skin color, too—there is a confirmed lesbian (Lisa has a wife named Liz—must get confusing at home!), a hearing-impaired man, and a physically-disabled man. There are slightly more women than men, but that's standard for the field of corporate social responsibility (and sustainability to a lesser extent). There are several married folk, and even some who have left their spouses in charge of multiple children for the duration of the program. Some have families that will join them later in the fall, others are planning on spending the entire year alone—even counting holiday breaks. Thankfully, there are only a few truly annoying people, which I will describe in detail:
* Person "A" (I'll refrain from using names, just in case it comes back to haunt me) participates in class to an absurd excess. For "A", every rhetorical question has an answer, for which everyone else in the class is breathlessly waiting to hear how it will be solved. "A" even sometimes spontaneously proposes his own rhetorical questions, or more likely, his own "metaphor"—a metaphor which no one understands. "A" has a personal anecdote to share for every topic of conversation in small group exercises. He deems himself leader (even using a podium while everyone else sits around a small table), but is "uneasy with the authoritarian nature of leader/group, and would like to see the group dynamic evolve into a co-leadership mentality as a metaphor for sustainable development." I kid you not. It's farcical.
* Person "B" is…
Well, truth be told, next to "A", all others pale in comparison. Suffice it to say that we have:
* a solitary drinker (I know this from previous events, not class)
* a person who wants to wait until everyone in the group has arrived before making ANY decisions, as if newcomers might not want chairs in the common room
* a person who prefaces everything with, "I don't know if this is a good idea…". EVERY TIME SHE SPEAKS.
Actually, I really like the group, even if there are some annoying tendencies (none of which *I* possess, of course!).
And now, a description of the class itself. We met at 8:30 a.m. in our standard classroom (not to be confused with our common room), which resembles a typical high school biology classroom—lab tables everywhere, each on a successively higher step, creating a small amphitheater effect. There were the ubiquitous technology problems (which they later lamely used as a metaphor for the relationship between technology and sustainability—I secretly rolled my eyes at that), so we didn't actually get started until 8:45 a.m. Once we did get started, there was about an hour of introduction and program history. Then we did a brief series of self-introductions (it was then that I first realized what a liability "A" was going to be) and broke up into a bunch of small groups.
The groups were based on sustainability topics suggested by individual students, and were designed to get us talking in an open and frank manner (as if most of us needed any help). I went to the "Green Metrics and Indicators" small group discussion (others topics included Energy, Agriculture and Industry, Sustainable Community Development, Culture, and Transforming Society/Paradigm Shifts), where we talked about the need for sustainability leaders to be adept at using economic, social and environmental indicators, and especially comfortable with translating one type of metric into another (kilowatts of energy saved = $$ saved). It was pretty interesting, but I didn't feel like I was learning anything—but I think the point of the exercise was just to build some energy and excitement around topics we would be covering later.
By then it was almost noon, so we quickly went over the logistics and timeline of the program (winter break is December 22-January 9). Among the more interesting events is this Friday, when the Swedish Crown Princess Victoria will be joining our class as a guest student. Ooh-la-la royalty! All the guys are pretty enthusiastic, as she's reported to be a "bit of a hottie" (and I quote directly from one of my classmates).
At that point, people were ravenous, so we broke for lunch with plans to meet back in the common room at 3 p.m. I ate lunch in Villa Oscar with some classmates, where I had a strange potato scramble thing with a huge plate of tomatoes and cucumbers. Yum, yum, yum.
After lunch, I went to the library, where I uploaded some previous journal entries and replied to some emails. I'm thinking that I won't get internet at my place, since there will be a lot of forced downtime as part of my class schedule (which is turning out to be FREAKISHLY hectic—4-6 hours of class EVERY day, plus all associated reading, "independent learning", and the odd Swedish mystery situation). Since I'll be spending the majority of down time at the library or in the common room, I can do all my internet stuff there—which will, in turn, force me to do schoolwork at home. At least, I hope so.
At 3 p.m., we met back in the common room to discuss how we wanted to design it. As with most large group discussions, especially with "sustainability types", it was pointless and too long. We were told that the tables and chairs given to us last week were actually given in error—and we had to put them all back where we found them. This un-move left the room barren of any good taste, and once again left us with a blank slate for design. The building supervisor is going to check the school storage to see if there is any spare furniture for us to use (for real this time), but in the meantime, we're basically left to our own devices. There is a segment of the group that wants to buy couches and make the room into a comfortable study/debate area, but others are gung-ho on waiting for a few weeks to see how the program develops. And above all, there is a feeling that we need to be "sustainable" about how we develop the room, so initial plans to purchase a printer specifically for the program was delayed indefinitely, as was all purchases.
I gleaned all of this information in between running back and forth to the International Office to check on the status of my package. I was super-excited to see a whole stack of huge boxes in the reception area, but none of them were mine. I was on the verge of tears when one of the International Office representatives told me that the "Shipping Office" address given to me (and other Sustainability students) was wrong and had resulted in packages being returned without delivery. But luck was on my side when I met Jessica, the best-ever International Office employee. Unlike some of the others, she speaks fluent Swedish and English and was able to handle my case. After scrutinizing my customs order, she located a tracking number (that I thought was the customs form number—silly me), made multiple calls to the Swedish Postal System, and located my box at a private post office in Karlskrona. The ironic thing was that the box had been delivered on AUGUST 16—two full days before I even left! It had just been sitting there for two weeks, as a result of the "Shipping Office" address problem mentioned earlier. It seems that this problem has been partially resolved (maybe the post office figured it out once a plethora of boxes started arriving), because my letters and other peoples' boxes, bearing that same address, have made it to the school. Perplexing.
Anyway, I hopped on the bus to the Centrum and triangulated the location of the post office by asking random shop owners. I ended up at the train station, where there is a little convenience store across the hall. I asked the lady behind the counter if she knew where the post office was—she looked at my address and the number the International Office had given me and walked back to her pantry and pulled out my long-lost box!! The back story is that all airmail in Sweden is handled by a private company with little stations all over the place—when they couldn't figure out where my box was supposed to go, they dropped it off with this lady. Who knows how long she would have kept it, at some point she would have needed that space for her groceries or something.
The moral of the story, Dear Readers, is to send all future packages to my Kungsmarksvägen address (which I am thrilled to give you!), rather than my initial International Office address.
Blissfully happy to have my bed items back, I traipsed back to the bus station and caught a ride home. I had just made it inside when the drizzle (it has been gray and wet all day) turned to a downpour. I made a lovely dinner of steamed broccoli, pasta (with tomatoes, cheese, and basil), and the remainder of my chocolate bar.
It's just after 7 p.m. now and I've done the dishes, cleaned my room, and am now ready to put my bed together (well, I'll still have the crappy cot, but at least I'll have excellent pillows!) and read my book.
Tomorrow our classes are in Annebo, which is a complex between my apartment and the school campus. So it will take me a little less time to get to class, assuming I can figure out where I'm going. I just hope it stops raining before the morning—I don't want to be stuck in class all morning with wet clothes. They keep the windows open for fresh air, and a little breeze can make it quite chilly. We're doing more small group activities (which I am growing to dislike a little more each time I have to do one), and won't really start lectures until Friday (which is starting to look like Christmas).
And with that, I bid you adieu. To you and you and you.
Posted by madchen at 11:14 PM | Comments (0)
