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April 24, 2008

Celebrating Earth Day the Old-Fashioned Way

** alternate title: Junk In My Trunk **

Yesterday was the first time that I'd driven my car since the weather turned warm. My meeting was an hour away, and I was anticipating a nice drive, full of singing along to the radio, enjoying the sunny weather, and taking some quality time away from my computer. I didn't realize that I would actually be wilting under a rolling wave of steam that seductively wound around my feet, then my ankles, then my torso, before finally turning my perfectly coiffed hair into a white-girl Afro.

I had forgotten, you see, that my car's air conditioning was defunct. I had driven it last summer with Sisyphean patience - believing that at some point the weather would cool down and I wouldn't be subjected to the oppressive sauna-like conditions. Then we broke the heat record in September, and again in October, and by the time November came around I was actually looking forward to taking the subway as a means of avoiding that tiny block coffin.

But oh, dear reader, how soon one forgets misery like that when winter rolls around! It wasn't until I popped into the Miata yesterday and began to feel that familiar tingle of sweat behind my knees that I remembered a vow I took many months ago: "I will get a new car when the weather warms up".

So I did. Here's the chronology:

-- 4:00 p.m. - drive home, realize I want a new car

-- 4:30 p.m. - arrive home, call my mom, tell her I have decided to get a new car

-- 5:00 p.m. - realize I have no budget in mind, nor make or model of preference

-- 5:30 p.m. - look at bevy of reviews on affordable small cars, play crossword online

-- 6:00 p.m. - decide that the Scion XD is the car for me

-- 6:10 p.m. - locate a Scion Dealership in the next town

-- 6:15 p.m. - arrange to meet my dad at the dealership at 7:45 p.m.

-- 6:20 p.m. - take a nap

-- 7:45 p.m. - arrive at dealership

-- 7:55 p.m. - take a test drive

-- 8:20 p.m. - look at all of the different color options

-- 8:30 p.m. - decide that the dark blue one is my favorite

-- 8:45 p.m. - start the paperwork, get Miata appraised (end up selling it for a roll of cash to the dealer's cousin)

-- 10:10 p.m. - get keys to car and begin the arduous task of transferring all of my junk from the Miata over to the new Scion, hilarity ensues as my dad nearly has an apoplectic fit at the mess I've been driving around in

-- 10:45 p.m. - drive my new car home

Not bad for an afternoon, I thought. And now, because it has been too long since we've enjoyed the amusement that is life with a small child...here is a family email exchange that happened today:

Jessica: Janie put an unopened bottle of water in my purse today, and my cell phone is now useless. I believe this is the second time Janie has destroyed my cell phone with water. Yay.

Dad: Don’t you be blaming my PERFECT granddaughter. It clearly must have been someone else’s fault.

This coming from the man who flipped out for DAYS because we once left a box of crayons in the back seat of the car. In Guam. In 90 degree heat. If you could get past the fact that there were melted crayons covering the seat, it was actually quite pretty.

April 18, 2008

Four Passengers Between Us

This weekend I'm going down to Charlottesville with Mr. MMB (christened thus by Ms. ADA for reasons I will decline to specify). It will be forty-eight hours of non-stop entertainment, beginning with a drive with the top down in one of our 2-seater cars (how we both ended up with roadsters I have no idea). I have a new pink dress and am enjoying the idea of a day that might actually require sunblock. Nothing like a rosy nose and cheeks to match one's fashion.

We'll have dinner with his parents before checking into a hotel, where I will exercise restraint and keep my hands to myself since at the crack of dawn on Saturday Mr. MMB will be running in the city marathon. My plan is to sleep in and arrive at the finish line in the nick of time to throw a flower blanket around his shoulders, just like they do for the Kentucky Derby winner.

Assuming that Mr. MMB can still walk after 26.2 miles, our plan is to drive to a friend's farm in Rappohanok for a good old fashioned pig roast. We'll camp at the farm overnight (getting to break out my camping equipment is perhaps the most exciting thing to happen to me in months, although how we are going to cram all of our stuff into one of our tiny cars is still a mystery) and hopefully avoid the thunderstorms on Sunday on our way back into town.

With all of this excitement ahead, one wonders why I am still sitting in front of my computer, sipping iced tea and watching an episode of Magnum PI. (And why in God's name does Magnum wear such ridiculously skimpy shorts?) I still need to find the tent and sleeping bag, need to pack my bag, need to send about a million emails, need to clean the kitchen from last night's stir fry (cooked to perfection by Mr. MMB while I watched and drank wine), need to print out directions for the pig roast, need to put out cat food and water--in essence, I need to get my proverbial shit together.

The reason, dear reader? I suspect it might have to do with Magnum's skimpy shorts.

April 13, 2008

The Happiness Continues...

In a strange turn of events, I have reverted to my 16-year old self and am completely infatuated with a boy. Head over heels, sickeningly, achingly, desperately enamored. It's actually rather nice.

After five days apart (my Big Idea trip to Chicago), he picked me up at the airport on Friday and whisked me away to a B&B in Berkeley Springs for the weekend, complete with dual massages at one of the local spas, a bottle of wine every night in our room, and a ridiculous amount of conjugal entertainment.

(Intrigued by Ms. Secret Blog's claim to be worth $1,086 an hour in bed, I thought I should do my own calculation. I was pleased to discover that I am apparently worth $1,224 an hour. I expect the difference in our fees is largely due to my...copious bosoms, I suppose is the right way to put it.)

Anyway, I just walked in the door to my house after a week away to find it spotless (the maid came on Friday), the cats happy and purring, a new Netflix movie (Junebug) waiting on the counter, a new nightgown hanging in the closet, and a week of adventure to look forward to. First up, Indian cooking class tomorrow night.

April 02, 2008

Let the Sunshine In

After three grueling months of unhappiness, things are looking up. Whether it's the spring weather, the $5.50 a minute therapy, or just good timing—I am finally waking up in the morning with a smile on my face. In this new spirit of dazzling contentment, let me share the following:

Despite screwing up vacation plans for this Christmas, everyone is delighted to be welcoming a new baby into the family. This bundle of joy will be making an appearance sometime in November, if Jessica's math skills are working.

Other things that have made happy lately: a new boy who takes me on hikes and to wineries in the Shenandoah Valley, Big Idea projects that will involve trips to Mexico in May, and tickets to Eddie Izzard.