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October 31, 2007
Happy/Sad
I've been an emotional rollercoaster lately—things are either fabulous or blah and rarely is there a moment in between.
The high point was several weeks ago when I experienced a true moment of enlightenment. Yes, the Buddhist kind. I was on an airplane looking out the window at the sunset, listening to my iPod, and it just happened—a few minutes of absolute clarity and peace. I was a reed in the wind, in charge of my own destiny but also bending to the vagaries of fate. I would fail or I would succeed and it wouldn't matter because I am who I am and that was enough. It was like nothing I've ever experienced before, and it was especially strange because it just happened seemingly out of the blue.
Contrast that with today, where I have just choked down four ibuprofen with a steaming gulp of coffee. I'm sitting in front of my computer with twenty-eight things on my to-do list (really, I counted) and absolutely no motivation. I did manage to brush my teeth and comb my hair, but that is the extent of my personal grooming today. Although the weather is beautiful and I got an appreciative "how you doing, pretty?" on my morning trip to the hardware store, enlightened I am not.
