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October 31, 2007
Happy/Sad
I've been an emotional rollercoaster lately—things are either fabulous or blah and rarely is there a moment in between.
The high point was several weeks ago when I experienced a true moment of enlightenment. Yes, the Buddhist kind. I was on an airplane looking out the window at the sunset, listening to my iPod, and it just happened—a few minutes of absolute clarity and peace. I was a reed in the wind, in charge of my own destiny but also bending to the vagaries of fate. I would fail or I would succeed and it wouldn't matter because I am who I am and that was enough. It was like nothing I've ever experienced before, and it was especially strange because it just happened seemingly out of the blue.
Contrast that with today, where I have just choked down four ibuprofen with a steaming gulp of coffee. I'm sitting in front of my computer with twenty-eight things on my to-do list (really, I counted) and absolutely no motivation. I did manage to brush my teeth and comb my hair, but that is the extent of my personal grooming today. Although the weather is beautiful and I got an appreciative "how you doing, pretty?" on my morning trip to the hardware store, enlightened I am not.
October 29, 2007
Battling My Inner Demons
Last night I went to see 30 Days of Night. For those of you who don't know me personally, this was a big jump from my modus operandi, which is to avoid anything scarier than a clashing Halloween sweater. As a child I wasn't allowed to see anything scary (my sobbing sister had to be pulled from The Princess Bride during the ROUS scene), and thus I am highly sensitive to anything slightly creepy. As a result, I have never seen The Exorcist, Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Friday the 13th, The Omen, etc. In fact, until last night I thought that the Friday the 13th and Halloween series were one in the same (Michael Myers being the true identity of "Jason"--in a Bourne Identity kind of way).
In case you aren't familiar with 30 Days of Night, let me recap. In the northernmost town in Alaska, there is a full 30 days in the dead of winter where the sun does not appear. Vampires take this opportunity to seal off all communication (destroying the helicopter, burning the satellite phones, killing the sled dogs) and go on a murderous rampage. The survivors have to band together to fight them off, etc., etc. In the end, they retreat to a metal building highly indicative of an oil refinery building, or perhaps some other infrastructure related to an extractive industry.
I was already a bit nervous about seeing the movie (see above paragraph about my ninny-ways), but as the credits started rolling I noticed with growing horror that the parallels to my plans for next month did not bode well. Note:
On November 24 (a mere 27 days from the darkest day of the year), I will be traveling to a remote mining town in northernmost Alaska. It is common for the weather to reach -40 degrees, and snowmobile is the preferred method of transport. There is a strong possibility that I will be touring buildings with mining equipment (or even visiting the mines themselves), and I just know that I'm going to be thinking--how would I kill a vampire with this [insert technical tool name here].
On the other hand, I now feel fairly confident that I know the rudimentary vampire-killing techniques. Sadly, if the movie is any indication, vampires also move quite fast and the chances of me being able to accurately swing an ax at their carotid artery are pretty slim, especially when you consider that I will be wearing eighteen layers of clothes and will be moving with the deliberate speed of the Staypuff Marshmallow Man.
Where I'm going with this story is that last night as I prepared to go to bed, I was a bit apprehensive. I have really vivid dreams, and I was worried that I was going to wake up all sweaty from nightmares. All alone, I turned on all of the lights in the apartment and prepared for a long haul. There may have been a few tears, but let's not talk about that.
And I was right--I did have dreams about vampires all night long. But in an ironic twist of fate, the dreams consisted of sitting in a long, fluorescent-lit board room with a group of business clad executives and creating a strategy plan for how to deal with the vampires. No actual demons of the night made an appearance, and by the time I woke up this morning I was totally and utterly bored with the topic. If I never see another pie chart about effective vampire removal methods, it will be too soon.
Posted by madchen at 11:59 AM | Comments (0)October 25, 2007
Books I Read During an Indian Summer
New Total: 132
The Amazing Adventures of Cavalier and Klay
by Michael Chabon
My Thoughts: It took me two full months to read this book. And while I certainly understand why it won the Pulitzer prize, much like the Booker Prize winner from a couple years ago "The Line of Beauty", I *appreciated* this book more than I enjoyed it. Frankly, I grew weary of the overall plot arch, and couldn't stay with all of the sub-plots. I should have known when I picked up the book in the store and saw that it was about comics. No matter how much you dress it up, in the end it was still a book about comics.
First Among Sequels: A Thursday Next Novel
by Jasper Fforde
My Thoughts: I have often mentioned my love for the Thursday Next series, and this one was no exception. It certainly wasn't the best (after five books, the quirky alternate universe is losing some of its flavor), but highly entertaining nonetheless. At some point I will get all of these books in paper format (I've only listened to them on audiobook), since I think I might be missing some of the wordplay...
Eye Contact
by Cammi McGovern
My Thoughts: This book was everything that A Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime *could* have been. I devoured it in a single sitting and kept thinking about it days later. There were perhaps a few too many characters, and the second half could have been a bit tighter (there were a series of denouements reminiscent of the final Lord of the Rings movie), but overall this was one of my favorite late-summer reads.
Those Who Save Us
by Jenna Blum
My Thoughts: Another WWII book about Jews and Germans, but with a twist--involving rather graphic Nazi sex. In many places, I thought this book was an incredibly compelling look at what people do to survive (and a good story line too), but the flashing back and forth between generations felt too contrived. Whatever its flaws, though, there is no doubt that this would make a GREAT book club selection.
Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote Peace . . . One School at a Time
by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin
My Thoughts: This was a book club selection that we ended up abandoning because of time constraints. I read it anyway, and thought that it was an interesting insight into the "liberal peace corps-esque man fights terrorism" mentality. I am leery of biographies that tend to make their subjects towering heros, and by the end I felt some of exasperation that led some of Mortenson's colleagues to distance themselves from his projects. The best analogy I can make is that he's the Steve Irwin (Crocodile Hunter) of the Kyber Pass. One of these days he's going to be killed while pursuing his passion, and while everyone will lament his passing, there will also be a sneaking suspicion that he was asking for it (just a little bit).
October 24, 2007
Still. At. The. Airport.
Good lord, why me?
Upon arriving at the Fort Lauderdale airport today (having already endured a horrid ordeal with a tardy shuttle bus driver and a rude Holiday Inn staffer), I discovered a line a the United Airlines counter stretching back to the far corner of the airport.
At first, I was relieved to see that my flight was delayed, since that meant I wouldn't necessarily miss it while standing in the check-in line. But then I realized that the reason the line was so long was that the flight was not really "delayed" so much as MIA. Rumor had it that the original plane had massive engine failure and another was being sought. The line of people ahead of me were trying to get re-routed, and in some cases were having to spend an extra night in town.
I got on the phone with a United representative--after a solid 13 minutes of negotiating their stupid voice answering system (soothing man's voice, 'I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Please say your confirmation code again"--and was dismayed to discover that 1) our connection was bad, 2) English was probably her third language, and 3) the term 'gross incompetence" was coined just for her.
She put me on a different flight via US Airways, which should have routed me through Philadelphia. So I traipsed over to the US Airways counter, where the check-in person told me that the flight was overbooked (and had been since yesterday) and there was no way I was going to make it to Philadelphia. Moreover, she had no record from United that I had been transferred over there, and the confirmation code I had received from Ms. Incompetent wasn't showing up in the system. She handed me my ID back, wished me luck, and went on to the next person.
So I walked back to the United line, which hadn't moved six inches in the 45 minutes since I'd first arrived, when I happened to overhear another person saying that the original United flight to DC had been moved to 4:30 p.m. since they had found a plane in working order that was being flown to Fort Lauderdale at that very moment.
I cornered a Broward County Airport representative (since there wasn't a United person in sight, other than the three dealing with the rebookings a half mile away) who confirmed this news and told me to go have lunch somewhere and come back to check in later.
That's what I did, dear reader, and only had to stand in line another 30 minutes when I returned. And now I'm waiting patiently at my gate, where I have been told that the plane might leave around 5 p.m. Of course, there is nothing on the board to indicate that the plane is on it's way (a simple "delayed" is all that's next to our flight number), and so I remain suspicious.
Will Ms. Write Again Soon ever get home? Has her airport luck run out completely? Given that she only brought one outfit for two days of work (in an admittedly stupid oversight), will she end up wearing these clothes for a third day in a row? Tune in next time to find out the thrilling conclusion to Why South Florida Sucks Balls.
Posted by madchen at 03:27 PM | Comments (0)October 23, 2007
Airport Karma
I haven't been home for more than 6 days in a row since April. Every week I'm off to someplace new, or back to someplace that used to be new, or someplace that is beginning to feel like a second home. And up until last week, I hadn't had much of an issue with the necessary air travel.
Apparently, I used up my "good airport vibes" on October 15th. Because since then, the three trips to the airport that I've made have involved some combination of 1) missed flights, 2) sitting on the runway for hours at a time, and/or 3) complete evacuation of the airport because of security breaches.
Bah! I grow weary of airports, although now that I have a T-Mobile HotSpot account it's nice to be able to access the internet basically anyplace I go. And I did spend last night in the most comfortable bed I've ever slept in. I now see why the TempurPedic brand is so expensive.
Other things that are offsetting my airport blues:
-- a new nightgown that makes my boobs look spectacular (even if I'm the only one to appreciate it)
-- seeing the HOTTEST guy I have ever beheld at the airport, and realizing he was listening to Dido on his iPod
-- getting completely swept away in a new book
-- holding my own in ongoing Big Idea acquisition talks
Incidentally, have you seen the RAW (pro wrestling) Fan Nation commercial that features an honest-to-goodness female police detective who says she wants to bring one of the RAW Divas to work with her, to help with the offenders that "don't really respect women". WTF! Because being roughed up by a scantily-clad, steroid-enhanced freak would make you respect women?
Posted by madchen at 07:50 PM | Comments (2)October 19, 2007
Rolling in My Six-Fo'
I spent several days in Fort Lauderdale this week on Big Idea business. While the actual business part of it went extremely well (they've invited me back next week), I can sum up the rest of the trip thusly:
Yo so I continued to A1A Beachfront Avenue
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis
Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be channeling Vanilla Ice, but there it is. But wait, let's explore just what "out getting mine" means in this context.
Any guesses?
If you said "missing your first flight, sitting in the airport an extra 5 hours, staying in a scary hotel room right out of The Shining, spending $250+ in taxi fares over 48 hours, getting locked out of your hotel room, having your computer completely melt down, getting food poisoning and spending 6 hours puking up everything you've eaten in the last six months, and finishing up the trip by sitting on the tarmac at Dulles for 90 minutes and as a result having to drive home in the middle of rush hour traffic" you would be right. And perhaps psychic.
Yes, dear readers, it was by far the worst trip I've ever taken. Which means that next week when I make my return trip, I'm going to have to live it up to compensate. Anyone want to join me? I promise to keep the vomit to a minimum.
Posted by madchen at 09:56 PM | Comments (0)October 14, 2007
After spending 24 hours with Janie...
...here are a few of the amusing snippets I'd like to share:
[at the football game that Mr. Pilot coaches]
First Quarter: "Aunt Jen, don't cheer because Mr. Pilot will recognize your voice and see us!! Oh my gosh Aunt Jen, that would be SO embarrassing. I might just have to die."
Second Quarter: "Aunt Jen, hide me! What if he sees us?!"
Third Quarter: "Who--hoo! Who--hoo! GO [MASCOT]!!!! Aunt Jen, can we go talk to Mr. Pilot now?"
Fourth Quarter: [in accelerating volume, after seeing Mr. Pilot do the same to his players] "Who wants to play some football? Who wants to play some FOOTBALL? Who wants to PLAY some FOOTBALL? WHO WANTS TO PLAY SOME FOOTBALL?!?" [Ensue crazy dancing] "Can we go talk to him NOW?"
She asked me later if he had a wife. I said no, but we should probably check with him again just to be sure.
[this morning as we sat at the Whole Foods eating breakfast]
"Aunt Jen, can you get me more eggs?"
Janie, you've already eaten an entire cinnamon bun, half of my scone, a plate of eggs, a side order of bacon, half of the sausage, a packet of Sweet Tarts, and had a whole glass of lemonade.
"Aunt Jen, look! There is still room in my stomach [pushing a finger disgustingly far into her abdomen] right HERE."
[note that she managed to consume an entire smoothie immediately after this discussion...who am I to argue with extra room in one's stomach?]
[later this morning as we got ready to go to a tea party]
"Aunt Jen, I wish you were my REAL mother."
Janie, don't even joke about that.
"No really. At least, maybe I could just stay with you for another 31 days. That's a good idea, don't you think?"
Let's go. Right now.
October 12, 2007
Feeling Ill
I just saw a man commit suicide.
I was walking back to my place after a trip to the bookstore and I noticed some police cars at the entrance to the garage. I assumed it was some sort of auto break-in, but when I got to my apartment on the 11th floor, I looked out the window and saw that there were a handful of police officers standing in a semicircle on the roof of the building.
Voyeur that I am, and thinking that maybe there was a stand-off or something, I got my binoculars and looked over to see a man in his 50s standing on the lip of the raised edge. The police officers were talking to him, and he seemed pretty calm. And then, he took off his shoes and tossed his keys to the negotiator, and then he got down on his hands and knees and just sort of leaned over the side and let go.
I didn't see him fall, thank goodness, but I did see all of the police officers run to try and catch his arms, and then their reaction as they looked over the side. One of them (a young guy) was in disbelief and just kept rubbing his face and another one started yelling in frustration. And now, 15 minutes later, the ambulance still hasn't left with the body, the police tape is up all over the place, and I'm left with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
What a horrible thing--and as hollow and shocked as I feel, I can only imagine what those police officers must be feeling right now. So sad.
October 09, 2007
Buy My Love
Mr. Amazing continues to be amazing (and a non-snorer, for those of you keeping track). And aside from being a pretty cool guy all around, I am getting particularly fond of his woo-ing style.
My first inkling of his generosity was when he slipped a couple of star sapphires into a letter he sent me from Afghanistan, shortly before he returned home.
On our date yesterday, which involved wandering around Old Town and looking in random stores and eating dinner at the very fancy Chart House, he presented me with a book of essays, which he then read aloud to me as I watched the sunset and drank a glass of wine.
Today I was presented with more gifts from the bazaars of Afghanistan--a wool wrap and a silk-wool wrap of beautiful colors that will keep me snuggly warm in the winter. Should winter ever arrive (did you know that today broke the heat record set in 1939?).
In return, I cooked a frozen pizza for dinner. He seemed pleased. I could definitely get used to this treatment.
Posted by madchen at 10:47 PM | Comments (1)October 07, 2007
Love at First Sight
I had the most amazing first date today. A-maz-ing.
How wonderful was it? I got lost driving home and toured the greater Alexandria area with a goofy smile on my face for a solid 45 minutes before finally meandering my way back to GW Parkway.
He is amazing. The date was amazing. I'm hoping it will be amazing tomorrow too.
October 02, 2007
Feels Like Home
I am slowly but surely putting my mark on my new place.* Last night, in a shameless attempt to avoid the one project that absolutely HAD to be completed by the morning, I got out my tool box and set to work hanging some of the many, many, oh-so-many pictures that so far had been shoved into the Corner Which Must Not Be Named.
I favor the eyeball approach to hanging pictures, which basically means that for any cluster of pictures (and there are many), there are approximately 1.5 nail holes per final nail. I justify this methodology by pretending that I will live in this house forever and—while I may replace the photographs inside the frames—the frames will be there until Armageddon. At which time I'm hoping that Jesus will stand on the bloody grounds of Megiddo and judge my picture-hanging skills favorably in comparison to my other vices.
What I discovered during this process is that I really need a step-ladder. And when I say discovered, what I really mean is, "realized mere fractions of a second before toppling over into a pile of hammer, nails, and various picture frames". You see, dear reader, my Ottoman is just not tall enough to assist in the process, and balancing a small table on top of the Ottoman also proved to be an inadequate move.
Of course, now that the place is beginning to feel like home, I'm off again. This time it's a 4-day trip to Thunder Bay, Ontario. Actually, it's 4 hours from Thunder Bay, Ontario to a place that probably has no phone or internet access. So find some other way to entertain yourselves, my chickadees. I'll be back soon!
* Reader alert! The only suggestion I received in the "what should I call my new place?" contest was "Plato's Cave" which to me seems like it's putting a pretty high bar on what might go on inside…so I'm looking for more low-brow options.
