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September 20, 2007
Things I've Learned Recently
Being unable to use a thumb is difficult. Being unable to use a thumb AND forefinger is nigh impossible. It also makes one realize just how ambidextrous one really is. I, for instance, never realized that I hold Starbucks coffee cups in my left hand. When forced to drink with my right hand (while also walking down the street), I ended up sloshing caramel latte all over the place. Not pretty.
There is great internet coverage in Trail, BC (that's Canada, eh), but very crappy coverage in St. Louis.
Knife sharpening requires two working hands. Fortunately, this was a lesson I learned quickly, and disaster was averted.
The local Giant Food has a dearth of attractive men. Social Safeway, it is not. Killing twenty minutes while my prescription was filled resulted in precisely ZERO "ohh" moments. But I did get a chance to peruse an entire aisle of ice cream.
Naked Alone Time is best spent with old 90's music blasting in the background, so as to provoke dramatic karaoke moments. Currently I am jamming (albeit in my pajamas) to Biz Markie's "Just a Friend". A classic. James's "Laid" is also excellent for this purpose.
While a tetanus shot might not hurt when given, it hurts like a bitch the next day. And the day after that. And one of the long term side effects can be "wasting of the arm muscle, which may last for many months". Yikes, that sounds bad.
When sung properly, the lyric "you're crazy bitch, but you f*ck so good I'm on top of it" is not nearly offensive as it might otherwise be. When sung PROPERLY.
A mango is a slippery beast and peeling one should only be undertaken with a sharp knife and 10 working digits. Eight will NOT do.
The pharmaceutical companies have gone too far in their pill proportions. I ask you, is this necessary?
