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September 30, 2007
Happiness in My Heart
I recently had a conversation in which I compared my own happiness to someone else's. I'll spare you the details, but the gist is that—on average—I am a quite happy person. I attributed it to not having expectations that need to be fulfilled in order to be a contented person (like marriage, kids, whatever), but that instead I am delighted to feel like I am taking advantage of whatever opportunities are presented.
I didn't think much about it until I saw this article in today's Washington Post. Titled Is Great Happiness Too Much of a Good Thing?, author Shankar Vedantam writes about a new study out this week that suggest a happiness paradox.
Put another way, a hidden price of being happier on average is that you put your short-term contentment at risk, because being happy raises your expectations about being happy. When good things happen, they don't count for much because they are what you expect. When bad things happen, you temporarily feel terrible, because you've gotten used to being happy.
I'm not sure what that means about my own happiness…although it does suggest why I get bummed out at silly little things (for example, when someone makes a rude gesture at my driving, it will ruin my whole morning), but also why I can bounce back relatively quickly when things don't go my way. The article ends with this thought:
The psychologists are studying ways to help people retain their sensitivity to positive experiences. Individuals and couples who attend to everyday accomplishments, celebrate the positive, and cultivate a sense of gratitude for what they have seem to have the best odds of getting off the happiness treadmill.
In that spirit, please allow me to share with you the amusement I experienced today. It turns out that Janie was asked to draw "what was in her heart". (I assume this was some sort of Sunday School project.) There was room for four things and guess who made the list?
Mommy. Grandma. Aunt Jen. And…
Who would get the coveted fourth space? Would it be daddy in San Diego, or new-dad Mr. Eagle Six? Would it be granddad, who dutifully gets her that second donut every week after church? No…it was…
That's right. My cat made the list. Just in case you were wondering, this is the same cat that hisses as Janie every time she enters the same room. The cat that nearly cost me two fingers last week. The cat that probably dreams about clawing her way to freedom. But according to Janie, "sometimes she's nice".
So here's to "sometimes being nice" being good enough to get you into someone's heart.
Comments
This post is so appropriate for how I've been feeling lately...very poignant.
Posted by: ms. pm at October 1, 2007 11:00 AM
Actually, mommy did not make the cut. It was Aunt Jen, Grandma, the cats, and...wait for it...her bedroom. When I asked about this picture, she examined it, shrugged her shoulders, and said, "I think it's when Caroline spent the night." Which she never has.
Posted by: Jessica at October 1, 2007 02:52 PM
