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September 18, 2007
Calculations
Picture if you will, dear reader, my own personal Master Card commercial:
[zoom in on Ms. Write Again Soon earnestly signing an 8-inch stack of papers]
New condo: $300,000
[cut to scene of Ms. Write Again Soon surrounded by approximately a gazillion boxes]
Movers to help unload your stuff: $150
[flurry of scenes with Ms. Write Again Soon handing over her charge card with abandon]
New bookcases, desk, and shelving: $1,200
[cut to Ms. Write Again Soon coaxing a tiny cat from under the bed]
Pet carrier to transport cat to new condo: $25
[zoom in on Ms. Write Again Soon standing over the sink, crying]
First aid to quell copious bleeding after tussle with cat: $7
[pan across parking lot while a heavily bandaged Ms. Write Again Soon enters a doctor's office]
Visit to Minute Clinic to get tetanus shot after fingers swell to twice their normal size: $49
[cut to a harried Ms. Write Again Soon pushing her way through the bleeding masses]
Midnight visit to emergency room when fingers emit colorfully viscous ooze: $275
[view of Ms. Write Again Soon grimacing as she swallows a silver dollar size pill]
Week's worth of hard-core antibiotics: $190
[zoom in on a pile of used bandages, neosporin, painkiller wrappers, and peroxide]
More bandages and peroxide: $15
[cut to alarmed Ms. Write Again Soon as she looks at the IV antibiotics the doctor proffers]
Follow-up trip to emergency room: $225
Ability to recover from serious bacterial infection while having "naked alone time" in brand new home: PRICELESS
Comments
Cats are evil...QED.
Posted by: jason at September 19, 2007 08:52 AM
