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August 14, 2007
Why I Will Never Try Meth
I will admit it, I have occasionally dabbled with drugs. And my "drugs" I mean marijuana, which produces (in me at least) a nice laid-back, lazy feeling where everything is doubly funny and I excel at videogames.
While I will spare you my exposition on why pot should be made legal, I want to take a moment to explain why pot is different than other drugs, and why certain other drugs will never enter my body.
This argument revolves around coffee. Caffeinated coffee, more specifically. Which I have had two cups of today. Which is now making me bounce off the walls, tap my feet a bazillion times a minute, and shift around in my chair so that I look like I might have some uncomfortable skin ailment. Which is awkward, since I'm sitting in a Starbucks, trying to work on the Big Idea while the Comcast cable is out at my house.
Why on earth would I need hard drugs when coffee takes me within an inch of psychosis? If two cups of coffee makes me want to dance on the tabletops and run screaming through the parking lot, why do I need coke or speed? Why, in fact would I want to risk it, given that I would probably end up naked on the rooftop of a building, seeing if I could fly?
No, no, better to stick to the occasional frappacino. And if I'm REALLY looking for kicks, I'll follow it up with a shot of espresso.
(Incidentally, it looks like the wallpaper on the far wall is twitching. Just so you know.)
Comments
Nice Lethal Weapon reference.
Posted by: CT at August 15, 2007 08:37 AM
One of the reasons I will never try meth is because of the buck-toothed yokel I met a party thrown by some of my shadier acquaintances who asked a group of us, "Y'all got any meth?" I just said no.
Posted by: Jason at August 16, 2007 03:50 PM
