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August 29, 2007

Because I Am a Glutton for Punishment

After reluctantly deciding that Comcast is the devil, but that I don't really have other options for internet at the New Place, I spent 20 minutes going through the Comcast website, choosing my egregiously overpriced high-speed internet option, filling out an application form, and waiting for a "live chat analyst" to confirm the dates for my installation. Picture it, dear reader.

user guest_ has entered room
analyst Joanna has entered room

Joanna(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:12:33 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Hello guest_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Joanna. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Joanna(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:12:37 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Hello, with whom do I have the pleasure of chatting with today?

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:13:11 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Hi, this is Jennifer

Joanna(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:13:24 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Hello Jennifer, how may I help you today?

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:13:58 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
I just placed an order for cable internet installation and I understand you can confirm the dates?

Joanna(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:13:49 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Thank you for choosing Comcast.

Joanna(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:14:11 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
The system I need to process your order is not working right now.

Joanna(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:14:34 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
I need you to chat back at a later time or go to your local office and place your order.

Joanna(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:14:42 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Do you need the address?

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:15:06 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Do you have an estimated time for when your system might be working again?

Joanna(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:15:40 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
It's possible that if you chat back in, you could reach a representative whose system is up and running.

Joanna(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:15:49 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Mine is not.

Joanna(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:15:58 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Sorry for the inconvenience.

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:16:29 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
So what happened to the application that I submitted? Is it still waiting to be processed, or has it disappeared into the ether?

Joanna(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:16:41 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
You will have to complete the order over.

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:17:05 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Oh my.

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:18:29 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Actually, I think I will probably just go with another internet provider...if I can find one. My experience with Comcast has been all about "broken systems", appointments where the technician doesn't show up, spotty internet service, etc. I was just hoping it might be different this time around--but that's a monopoly for you!

Joanna(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:18:44 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Thank you for using Comcast. Have a great day.

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:19:07 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Same to you.

Joanna(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:19:02 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Analyst has closed chat and left the room

So then I was left with a conundrum, since it turns out I don't really have a choice. A search of internet providers in my area show that I can go with Comcast for $60 a month and get 6 Mbps, or I can go with HughesNet for $90 a month and just get 1 Mbps. There are no DSL options, although I supposed I could go back to dial-up.

[Pause for gasp of shock that dial-up is still available.]

Telecommunications monopoly, I shake my fist at you! And Comcast, I am your bitch once again.

Enter "re-application process #1":

user guest_ has entered room
analyst Kaeleen has entered room

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:38:49 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Hello guest_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Kaeleen. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:38:56 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Hello Jennifer, how are you?

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:39:14 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
hi, i'm fine thanks

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:39:23 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
i just wanted to confirm my installation time

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:39:36 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
I will be able to give you the date and time of your installation once I have completed processing your order.

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:39:52 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
ok

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:39:47 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
I will be a few moments while I search for your address, feel free to ask me any questions you may have while I do so.

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:40:02 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
I do apologize, I am unable to find your address in our billing system. Can you confirm your address for me so I can double check our system?

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:40:24 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
i don't have any questions at the moment, thanks!

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:40:37 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
it will be a new service

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:40:46 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
at XXX XXXXX #XXXX

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:40:51 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
silver spring, MD XXXXX

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:41:21 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Thank you. I will just be a moment while I double check our database for that address.

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:43:18 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Thank you for confirming your address for me. I have been able to locate it in our billing system.

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:43:49 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
I understand you are interested in our high speed internet service. Is this correct?

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:44:25 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
yes

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:44:31 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
In order to set up your account, I am required to do a credit check. May I have your Social Security Number, please?

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:44:56 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
XXX-XX-XXXX

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:44:54 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Thank you.

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:45:39 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Thank you for allowing me to run a credit check. You are not required to make a deposit for the service you have ordered.

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:46:11 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
ok

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:46:28 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
It will take me a few minutes to enter this order for you. I will let you know if I have any questions.

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:46:49 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
ok

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:48:06 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Please make sure that someone 18+ who speaks English is available for the technician for the installation.

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:48:08 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
We do require a telephone number for our technicians to call before they arrive. They will call approximately fifteen minutes before they arrive, if their call is not answered the appointment may have to be rescheduled. May I have that phone number, please?

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:48:38 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
XXX-XXX-XXXX

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:48:36 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Thank you.

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:49:18 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
For the installation I have September 5 between 2 pm and 5 pm. Would this suit you, Jennifer?

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:49:53 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
yes, that is fine

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:49:50 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Perfect!

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:50:10 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
I have completed your order. Is there anything else I can help you with today?

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:50:22 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
can i ask you a question about the application process?

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:50:56 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
i filled out my name, address, preferred installation time, phone number, etc. all online--just before i was directed to you

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:51:26 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
i'm just curious to know if that information was passed along to you, and you had to re-ask it for confirmation purposes, or if that information somehow didn't get transferred to you?

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:52:23 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
The information was passed onto me, and I am required to confirm the order so that there are no mistakes made on the order. Also, sometimes customers will forget to add something to the order, or will change their mind.

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:52:44 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
ok, thanks

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:52:43 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
We also must be sure that the time for the installation will suit the customer.

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:52:49 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Is there anything else I can help you with today?

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:53:04 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
is there a reference # for this appointment?

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:53:39 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
i've had multiple comcast appointments in the past where the technician didn't show up, or showed up really late, etc. and I'd like to be able to reference this agreement for 9/2 if any problems come up

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:53:42 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Your account number is XXXXX-XXXXXX-XX. That would be the closest thing to a referance number I have available.

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:54:00 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
ok, thanks

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:54:15 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
i think that's it for me

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:54:15 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
The installation is set for September 5 between 2 pm and 5 pm. Just to confirm.

guest_(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:54:31 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Yes, thanks

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:54:33 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Thank you for choosing Comcast. We do appreciate your business. Please do not hesitate to chat with Comcast again at www.comcast.com. We are always available, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Have a wonderful night!

Kaeleen(Wed Aug 29 2007 22:54:37 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time))>
Analyst has closed chat and left the room

Comcast, you win. I acknowledge your iron-fisted hold on the scrotum of my fair city. Squeeze away.

Posted by madchen on August 29, 2007 10:19 PM

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