« This Relationship Just Isn't Working | Main | Operation Bigger Idea »
June 05, 2007
Run Away Idea
Have you ever convinced yourself of something with absolutely no shred of evidence?
When I was back in college, I once had sex with my boyfriend when the condom broke. Because I was leaving for Christmas vacation in Japan the next week, we wanted to find out immediately if I was pregnant. We made an appointment with my OB-GYN, who took some blood samples but said that even if the test came back negative, it might just be too early to tell.
"Do you feel pregnant?" she asked me.
Up until that very moment I hadn't felt any different than my normal self. But her query made me question everything. Did I feel different? Were there tiny signs that I had missed? I left her office and went back to my apartment--and every two minutes for the next three weeks did a check-in--was I feeling differently? Every emotional surge, every aching muscle--it all seemd to point in one direction. Of course, three weeks went by and I found out I was definitively NOT pregnant, but oh my, I certainly had convinced myself that it was an inevitability.
Fast forward a decade. I'm facing something like that now, although a slightly different situation. I was metaphorically walking along and minding my own business when a random thought occurred to me. It grew like a tumor, and now I've managed to convince myself that it is an indisputable fact--even though there is no evidence to support it.
My brain tells me I'm overreacting, my intuition tells me that something is not quite right. Neither is making a particularly compelling argument. And so I will escape to that very pretty place called denial. Turns out it's not a river in Egypt.
Comments
And the run away idea is....
Posted by: ada at June 5, 2007 01:50 PM
Being the superstitious girl that I am, I don't even want to commit the stupid idea to paper (or to the blog, as the case may be).
Rest assured though, when there is some resolution one way or the other I will give a full update.
Posted by: Ms. Write Again Soon at June 5, 2007 01:55 PM
Bah, I say. It doesn't take paper or blog to fill me in over the phone lines....
Posted by: ada at June 5, 2007 09:53 PM
