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April 30, 2007
Happiness is...
...holding a brand new baby and watching it wriggle with determination--briefly morph into an alien--and then give up and snuggle into your arms for a longer nap.
...having your dentist tell you that you have gorgeous teeth, to go with your gorgeous face. And NO CAVITIES!!
...putting on a summer dress that has been hanging forlornly in the back of your closet for 8 months.
...having friends throw themselves back into the dating world using phrases like: So OFAG [Operation Find a Girlfriend]? Consider it relaunched, motherfuckers.
...spending a lazy Sunday reading back issues of The Atlantic Monthly and sharing the best excerpts with the person next to you.
...having reporters call you for comment on your professional area of expertise.
...planning trips to exotic locales that you can then write off as business expenses.
...having three loads of laundry folded and ready to be put into drawers, thus avoiding a Panty Emergency.
Posted by madchen at 04:34 PM | Comments (0)April 23, 2007
Settling In
Things are going well with Mr. Pilot. We've now entered that very strange (for me) place in the relationship where we're constantly testing what is "appropriate" and what is still too intimate, too clingy, or too bitchy. For example:
Endearments = appropriate
Certain terminology for genetalia = NOT APPROPRIATE
Using the term boyfriend/girlfriend = appropriate
Signing us up on knot.com = NOT APPROPRIATE
In my defense, I had to sign up in order to view a picture of the wedding dress that my sister sent me (for her own wedding). The knot.com sucked me in, insisting that it would take just a second to get a free account, and then before I knew it I was putting in my "fiance's name" (Mr. Pilot later suggested that I should have indicated that the lucky groom-to-be was my secret celebrity husband Ed Norton) and our wedding date (September 1, 2008--the default date, giving Mr. Pilot a mere 498 days to pop the question and get me to the courthouse). By the end of the account creation, I felt drained--like I had invested all the wedding planning time and attention that my body could handle. Ever.
Anyway, in response to the several queries, things are good. I've made it clear to my other "friends" that I'm off the auction block, to the point where I actually spent the weekend taking care of Mr. Pilot when he was sick. As my loyal readers know, patience is not my virtue, and being nursemaid isn't exactly my calling in life. So, in addition to using up all of my wedding planning reserves, I've also bankrupted the "sweet and gentle" pot for 2007. Beware lost kittens and small children--you'll want to avoid me for the next 8 months.
I'll leave you with this exchange from the weekend:
Ms. Write Again Soon: What if you crashed your plane and died? Do your parents know how to contact me in the event of an emergency? How would I know that you had been hurt?
Mr. Pilot: Besides the national day of mourning?
Posted by madchen at 07:21 PM | Comments (0)April 19, 2007
Spare Me
I went to Virginia Tech for graduate school, and I have several close friends that still live in Blacksburg and go to school/teach at VT. I was horrified to see the news of the shootings this week, and my heart goes out to everyone involved.
That said, I am disgusted by the way the media is handling this whole tragedy--CNN in particular. Within hours, CNN anchors were putting kids on the air, asking them to speak about their experiences. These kids fell into two categories:
Group #1: I could hear the shooting, and we were scared, and we didn't know what was going on. Right now, we're just in shock--how could something like this happen?
Group #2: I was somewhere else on campus when I got the news that there was a shooting. I was confused and didn't know what was going on. Right now, we're just in shock--how could something like this happen?
First of all, that's not news and it adds nothing to the story. Coverage like that is just CNN's way of pretending to have breaking news every second of the day...similiar to its crawl bar that often says things like Breaking News: Jury Still Out on XXXX Case.
But then, as if realizing that they weren't producing anything dramatic enough, multiple times I saw the anchors ask the students things like:
"I know you are on television and trying to be professional and calm, but what does it really feel like? Give us a sense of your emotional state of mind." As in, please break down into wracking sobs so the viewers at home can feel like they are getting the best coverage of this breaking news story.
And then, when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I saw Wolf Blitzer (an annoying little man at the best of times) try to compare the shooting with the situation in Palestine. Way to rachet up the drama-factor.
Wolf: So, you are Palestinian, and you're familiar with a situation where lives are at risk every day. Can you tell us [guy who shot the crappy cell phone video that really just shows police walking around with guns, with some shooting in the background], how do the two situations compare?
Guy: Um...well, nothing like this has ever happened back home.
I almost had to drive down to Atlanta and do something drastic. Instead I turned off the television and let Washingtonpost.com update me throughout the day.
Today, I was still irritated, but I thought perhaps we were moving past the hyped-up, major ratings, instant "Tragedy in Blacksburg" logo, spiel. But no--the idiot shooter decided to send photos and video of himself to the media. And they played right into his hands by blasting in nonstop on the television, radio, and internet. What on earth do they hope to accomplish, other than ratings? Do we better understand the tragedy? Do we feel comforted to know he was such a freak? Do we feel safer?
I hope that everyone who watches the video, everyone who searches it out on YouTube, everyone who goes back to replay it, I hope you all feel dirty. As for me, I haven't seen any of the video, and I've only seen the pictures that were unavoidable on the home page of CNN and the Washington Post. It's icky, and I would rather go about my day focusing on other things. When my mind does goes back to my friends at Virginia Tech and the inevitable "what would I have done in a similar situation" questions, I'm happy to know that I have chosen not to delve into the mind of the killer.
Posted by madchen at 12:11 PM | Comments (1)April 15, 2007
Where Have You Been?
"Aunt Jen, where have you been?"
With Mr. Pilot.
[Thoughtful silence.]
"Were you at a hotel?"
Um...yes.
[Thoughtful silence.]
"When did you leave?"
On Thursday.
"Where was the hotel?"
In Tyson's Corner.
"No, I mean in what STATE was the hotel?"
Virginia.
[Thoughtful silence.]
"Did you have to fly there?"
Nope, we just drove.
"Ok, you want to play?"
Actually, I want to take a nap.
Posted by madchen at 11:35 AM | Comments (0)April 09, 2007
Bring on the Anthrax
I'm into my second dose of Cipro and--wow--are those side effects powerful...
WARNINGS: All quinolones cause erosion of cartilage in weight-bearing joints. They may cause convulsions, increases intracranial pressure, toxic psychosis, CNS stimulation (i.e.nervousness, lightheadedness, confusion, hallucinations).Should not be used in anyone with seizure disorders, or cerebral arteriosclerosis. There have been deaths due to anaphylactic shock, and cardiovascular collapse. Also occurring are tingling, itching, facial swelling, and difficult breathing.
ADVERSE REACTIONS:
* Nausea (5.2%),
* Diarrhea (2.3%),
* vomiting (2%),
* abdominal pain/discomfort(1.7%),
* headache(1.2%),
* restlessness(1.1%), and
* rash (1.1%).
Ok, so today I've just had the dry mouth (with accompanying metallic taste) nausea, muscle pain (my whole back is in knots), headache, dizziness, and restlessness. But I encourage all my loyal readers to stay alert for any signs of crazy behavior, since apparently the drug builds up over time and the 3-day mark is where you hear all the "emergency trip to the ER because I thought my arms were on fire" stories.
Note: After reading this website, I am now totally terrified of continuing the medication. On the other hand, I am now only peeing every hour, rather than every 8-10 minutes like last night. And I've been careful to stay away from caffeine, which apparently makes the side effects MUCH worse.
Note #2: After drinking 3 gallons of water over a 2-hour period last night, I know now what it feels like to be 7 months pregnant. My stomach was so distended that--even leaning over--I couldn't see my toes. So I am grateful to report that the Cipro--while potentially causing long-term irreperable joint damage--has once again allowed me to curl up in a ball on my bed. Because that is my preferred panic attack position.
Posted by madchen at 01:51 AM | Comments (0)April 08, 2007
2 a.m.
It's 2 a.m. and I've been to the bathroom 8 times in the last hour. I have what can only be described as one of the most irritating, painful, and obnoxious ailments known to the female body.
FUCKING UTIs.
This is one of the times when not having heatlh insurance is a real bitch. A quick Google search indicates that there is a dearth of urgent care clinics in my immediate area (although apparently, there is a cottage industry of them in the Fairfax-Burke-Annandale area), and the ones that are within a reasonable distance aren't open at two in the morning on a holiday weekend.
ISN'T THAT THE WHOLE POINT OF URGENT CARE CLINICS?
Anyway, i'm now guzzling water and feeling very, very sorry for myself. I have considered the options: 1) go to the emergency room and spend $500, 2) go to the urgent care clinic in Potomac at 10 a.m. tomorrow, 3) wait until Monday to go to my normal women's care doctor, or (my personal favorite so far) 4) walk right this VERY minute down to the military emergency room a mere 1000 yards away and play the "I'm the admiral's daughter and he's sleeping in the house down the street and PLEASE PLEASE help me" card. After all, what I'm really need is a kind doctor to take 3 minutes to write me a prescription for antibiotics. It's not like I'm asking for a prosthetic limb.
Sniff, sniff--my life is very difficult at these moments. And now if you'll excuse me, I have to pee.
Posted by madchen at 02:14 AM | Comments (1)April 03, 2007
Starting from Scratch
In what will henceforth be referred to as the Great Shoe Massacre of 2007, I went through a violent purging of my footwear collection this week. Out went the white strappy platforms that I got in Hawaii back in 2003 and lovingly wore until my feet bled. Tossed were the black pull-on sneakers with the white stripe that so stoically took me through the Turkish mud fields of Cappadocia. Gone are the sturdy but oh-so-boring black pumps that I wore with my first post-graduate business suit. Into the Goodwill pile went a total of 12 pairs of shoes (although the retro black heels with the snazzy ankle strap were quickly claimed by Jessica).
I'm down to 31 pairs (including two pairs of slippers), which means that I could wear a different pair of shoes every day for a month. Except for the fact that would mean pulling on a pair of faux-fur-lined snow boots from my trip to Milan in the same season as I strutted around in bright orange beaded sandals--it's an interesting thought experiment.
Incidentally, those 31 pairs of remaining shoes (and oh how you could practically feel the ripple of fear through the shelves as I began weeding out the shoe-losers) include three news pairs that I got during a trip to DSW with Ms. Secret blog. My purchases included a pair of black patent leather peep-toed stillettos (which I expect to wear in the bedroom and nowhere else), a very sparkly pair of sandals, and a pair of nice-but-rather-standard pair of black urban sneakers to replace the Turkish-mud climbers.
Now that the boring shoes have been banished, it's like a whole new world. Let the re-accumulation begin.
Posted by madchen at 06:56 PM | Comments (1)
