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January 30, 2007
An Open Letter to Mr. Pilot
Dear Mr. Pilot,
I believe you owe me a phone call (or several). Since you haven’t called, however, I’m guessing that you MUST have a good reason. As you know, impatience is my biggest personal flaw, and I am not so good at just “waiting it out”. To make it easy on you, I’ve compiled a list of acceptable excuses. Simply check any/all that apply and we'll call it even.
[ ] I was in a terrible plane crash over the Andes. I would have called, but I’ve been too busy deciding which of my frozen companions to eat first. That, and there’s not any cell phone coverage here in the mountains of Chile.
[ ] I’ve met someone, fallen in love, and gotten engaged. I would have called, but I’ve just been swamped with looking at reception sites, picking a tuxedo, and planning our honeymoon. Given the high cost of weddings, do you think we should elope?
[ ] I’m moving forward with buying a house. I would have called, but I’ve been spending every spare moment with my real estate agent and she has a nasty habit of listening in on my phone calls. I don’t want to whisper sweet nothings to you with her hovering in the background.
[ ] I’ve been writing up a storm in an attempt to jumpstart my book. I would have called, but I’m so deep into the world of castle spies and epic adventures that taking 10 minutes to phone you would be irresponsible to my future reading public.
[ ] Even though you are smart, funny, attractive, and excellent in bed, I’m “just not that into you”. I would have called, but I feel sheepish that we’ve been dating for three months and I can’t be upfront about this fact.
[ ] Now that it’s celebrity award show season, I’ve been swamped with my obsession to People.com and TMZ.com. I would have called, but my commitment to Britney and Paris’s latest exploits takes priority over my personal relationships. And I’m gay.
[ ] Other (specify) ________________________________________________
I think that about covers the list of acceptable excuses. Are there others that I’m missing?
Ms. Write Again Soon
Comments
Beautiful!
Posted by: La at January 30, 2007 04:12 PM
I stand by my contention that after 3 months you have every right to call him freely when you wish. If you want to speak to him, call. And if he doesn't answer, and he doesn't return calls in acceptable time frames (24-48 hours, tops), then when/if he does call, you have a legitimate complaint. When he calls, you may not give him a pass just because you are excited to finally hear from him! He gets dragged over the coals!
[P.S. - Call return rates are even shorter for committed "relationships." MOSI doesn't call much, but invites me to call as incesantly as my little neurosis wishes. But he also returns calls by the end of the day, and expects the same from me.]
Posted by: bad apologies at January 30, 2007 05:14 PM
