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December 14, 2006
Despondant
I'm feeling grouchy.
Maybe it's the fact that Mr. Pilot hasn't called me, and since I used up my precious "follow-up phone call" on Monday I have just to concede that the ball is in his court and, probably, he's just not that into me. Maybe he's got the flu (my mom's suggestion), maybe he's just really busy (Ms. ADA's suggestion), or maybe he dropped his cell phone in the toilet (Ms. Pleasant Morning's suggestion)--but probably, however sad it may be, he's just not that into me. Excuse me while I resign myself to dying alone.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm just not feeling the holiday spirit. I did most of my gift shopping early in the year, and just can't seem to muster the enthusiasm to fight the mall crowd for those last few very, very important gifts. I haven't sent Christmas cards, which makes me feel guilty when I receive delightful notes from Ms. Wish to See, Ms. Maryment, and others. My biggest holiday experiment has been to download the Sufjan Stevens Christmas album. It's quite catchy, but doesn't entirely counter the balmy weather outside my window.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm hormonal, having recently started a new regime of birth control pills (let's all pause to give the male readers a chance to roll their eyes) and it's wreaking havoc on my mood. And since I keep forgetting to take them at night, I end up imbibing a dose of estrogen (or whatever) first thing in the morning--thus simulating morning sickness. It's not quite my cuppa tea, if you know what I mean.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm feeling a little bit burned out with the Big Idea. "Burned out" probably isn't the right term, since I'm super excited about things that are coming up, but at the same time I grow weary of the one project that is providing the vast majority of the income this quarter. It's a relationship that I can't afford to go sour, and so I'm dutifully putting in the time and effort, but it's just not satisfying.
Maybe it's the fact that I haven't been to the gym in a month. A full 30-day cycle without the joys of watching that guy (he knows who he is) on the treadmill in front of me, a full four weeks without those happy endorphins that come only after 45 minutes on the elliptical machine, a full invoice cycle without exercise to balance out the chocolate. No good can come of this.
Maybe it's just end-of-the-year blues. But I want it to go away. Now.
Comments
I'm with ya, sister.
Posted by: pleasant_mornings at December 15, 2006 12:21 PM
I totally think it's the birth control. Re-starting birth control is like re-starting high school - there's no good that can come of it. So maybe it's not you, it's the meds. Maybe you & I can do some pinky-swearing on re-starting something beneficial like the elliptical workouts?
Posted by: Elizabeth at December 15, 2006 01:47 PM
