« October 2006 | Main | December 2006 »
November 27, 2006
Sick, Part II
First of all, a word to my dear readers. I *finally* fall madly, deeply, forever in love with someone and there is not a single peep in the comments? I wash my hands of you.
Secondly, the magic is over. All the freewheeling estrogen coursing through my veins on Friday had evaporated by Saturday morning, when I woke up with a distinct feeling of distaste for Mr. Bethesda. It was like night and day.
Friday: I think I want to have his babies.
Saturday: He would not give me enough attention once the kids were born.
Friday: I could easily pick up my life here and move to his permanent home in the Southwest.
Saturday: He doesn't ever want to do anything at night, which would make me too lonely in a small town.
Friday: He's beyond all the game playing.
Saturday: I need to see a little effort here.
Anyway, the arc was helped along tremedously by a FABULOUS date with Mr. Pilot on Saturday afternoon. We went to lunch, we went to the zoo, we briefly held hands, and he still hasn't kissed me. He revealed a startling knowledge of celebrity gossip that would almost certainly rival Ms. Maryment's (apparently, the pilots do a LOT of reading of People, Us Weekly, etc. while the autopilot is on), and yet also was able to hold an in-depth discussion of the Iraq war. He's a former Marine, which adds that little bit of military flair that I like, and yet manages to come off as a totally responsible, totally engaging sort of guy.
So, by Saturday night I was back to juggling several men--since I wasn't totally sure that I wanted to ditch Mr. Bethesda. After all, I don't get those *who-hoo* feelings too often and damn if they weren't a teensy bit nice.
But I digress.
Sunday morning Mr. Bethesda came over for a bike ride. I took advantage of my parents' Sunday morning religious fervor to meet him at the door half dressed, and we were, ahem, a little bit late leaving for our 30-mile ride from Bethesda to Old Town. (Note to self: do not engage in previously-alluded-to-activity prior to a long bike ride...no good can come of it.) Anyway, the weather was gorgeous, the bike ride was great, the lunch at The Chart House was fabulous, and the conversation at the table was enlightening.
Him: While I really like spending time with you, and I think you are a great person, I just don't see us having long-term romantic potential.
[Silence.]
Him: So? What do you think?
[Silence]
Him: I need a little feedback here.
Me: Strangly, I feel a huge sense of relief.
Actually, we had the best date so far--something about removing the 800-pound relationship gorilla made us get along much better. We ended on a "let's keep doing the casual dating thing--but let's also actively pursue other people" basis, kissed goodnight, and I was even a little giddy when I finally settled in for the night.
It might be the best break-up I've ever had.
(It was just icing on the cake when Mr. Doctor called later in the evening to make plans for later in the week. And it was like putting ice cream *on* the icing *on* the cake when Mr. Pilot called to say what a great time he had the day before, and would I like to get together sometime this weekend?)
I am a happy, happy girl today.
Posted by madchen at 09:14 AM | Comments (8)November 24, 2006
Sick
Lovesick, that is.
Yes, dear reader, I have succumbed to my deeply subverted emotional side and am all-consumed with thoughts of Mr. Bethesda. I went to bed a normal person, but woke up from a night full of dreams where we got married and I had dozens of his babies while he stood adoringly by and marveled at my glowing domesticity. Today I can't eat, I can't think, I certainly can't be responsible for anything remotely productive.
It sucks.
Let me be clear, although we had a delightful Thanksigiving Day together, Mr. Bethesda has given me no sign that he returns these overly strident feelings. Which, of course, drives me crazy. SO CRAZY.
Posted by madchen at 05:34 PM | Comments (0)November 21, 2006
I'll Be Watching For That
Come on Janie, let's brush your teeth.
"No, I want to get Grandma."
I know, but I told Grandma that I would get you all ready for bed before I left for my date. So let's brush your teeth.
"No, I want Grandma!"
Let's both brush our teeth. I need a clean mouth just in case I decide to kiss Mr. Bethesda.
[shocked silence] "Aunt Jen!! I will be watching for that!"
Posted by madchen at 08:52 AM | Comments (0)November 19, 2006
To China and Back Again
Days 5 and 6 in China were largely uneventful. I spent Wednesday catching up on Big Idea work (several hours of it that was subsequently eaten by my laptop never to return again), visiting the offices of the company that hired me to do the Shanghai workshop, and a visit to the hustle-and-bustle of The South Bund Soft Spinning Market. TSBSSM is a coglomeration of fabric sellers that hock their wares in an overwhelming wave of free-market enterprise. You can have any kind of fabric imaginable, and their tailors are only too happy to make you a Chanel knock-off overnight for the low, low price of $60 for a two piece suit. It was like heaven.
I got a Chinese silk jacket made, along with a 60's inspired cashmere coat. The suit I had made was less successful (apparently I wasn't meant to wear Chanel--real or fake) and I declined to accept the finished product. On the other hand, I did pick up several lovely Chinese silk purses (gifts for two of my lovely friends) to go with the tea I had previously purchsed (gifts for three of my other lovely friends).
Nothing else really merits mentioning about the trip, other than a VERY scary 20 minutes when the taxi dropped me off 1/2 mile from TSBSSM on Thursday with no futher directions about how to get there. It turns out that the Chinese characters written down for me (to give to the taxi driver, since they don't speak a word of English) had just the *area* of TSBSSM, not the exact address. So while the taxi on Wednesday knew where it was from previous experience, the taxi driver on Thursday just took me to the general area (which was comprised of empty streets and cold, dirty office buildings, and looked NOTHING like the actual location I had visited the previous day) and dropped me off in the pouring rain. I ended up triangulating my way to TSBSSM through use of an elaborate game of charades at three separate cigarette-stand stalls. Highly amusing, now that I have some space, but it was simultaneously terrifying (I was completely, COMPLETELY out of my element) and irritating (I was forced to wear my wet clothes the rest of the day, which included a 20-hour flight plan back to D.C.).
Anyway, I'm back home now and fighting jet lag. Somehow, it's always more difficult for me coming back home--I suspect because it's not as exciting to be back in my room, as opposed to a bright new city ripe for exploring.
I've spend a significant amount of time catching up on the Big Idea, and even managed to spend Friday night with good friends, saying goodbye to one of our group who headed off to Iraq this morning. On Saturday, I finally got around to unpacking my suitcase and cleaning up my room with the help of Janie, who insisted that *she* be allowed to sweep up the cat litter tracked around the hardwood floors. What can I say? She's been trained well.
One unexpected development was an impromptu date with Mr. Bethesda on Saturday. Good times were had by all, let me assure you. And in an even MORE strange development, he's coming over for Thanksgiving dinner. Rest assured, it's more of a "he doesn't have any other place to go" thing than a "oh, it might be serious!" thing. But still.
And...I have tentative plans with two boys (let's call them Mr. Doctor--he's actually a Ph.D., but I like to call him Doctor anyway--and Mr. Pilot, who's name is self-explanatory). I went out with these gentlemen the week before I left for Shanghai (on separate dates, just so we're clear) and both went surprisingly well. So now there are 3.5 boys (Mr. FWB is the .5 here) being juggled. Thank goodness they have VERY different names, since I fear calling one by the other's name. A delightful problem to have, I admit.
Posted by madchen at 09:04 PM | Comments (2)November 14, 2006
China--Day Four**
**Alternative title: Disillusionment
I just finished the second (and final) day of the Big Idea workshop. After all the work I put into it, and all the stress associated with the project, and all the anticipation of coming to Shanghai, and all the tension about whether or not I could perform up to everyone's standards, I feel like I might have a nervous breakdown.
It's all over now, and I'm drained, exhausted, and perhaps on the verge of tears. Overall I think it went well, and I think there is a fair chance that the company will invite me back for another round in the spring. And in general, the evalutation forms were complimentary--but certainly not outstanding. In fact, there was one participant who even marked "disagree" on the item "workshop leader is knowledgable about the subject matter". And another person marked "disagree" on the item "workshop leader has an effective presenation style". Harumph. It's those comments that make the 90% of the favorable replies feel like cheap pity scores, when I know that I did a damn fine job considering all the factors at play.
I remember feeling the same way after finishing up teaching a class while I was in grad school. There was such a feeling of relief when the semester was over, and yet knowing that the comments would inevitably include some poor scores (after all, I am not a natural teacher) made me feel like the whole thing was a waste of my time (and everyone else's). In this case, however, I was MUCH better prepared, and I know deep down that some of the criticism is really a reflection of the company who hired me (and who told me how to approach the topic) and not me. But right now it's a very lonely feeling, and I'm tempted to take the rest of the evening and just feel sorry for myself.
On the other hand, I'm meeting the a representative from the company for dinner in 20 minutes, so perhaps I better cram all my self pity into the next 15 minutes, so I have 5 minutes to recover and put on a fresh coat of make-up before the evening meal. (Incidentally, I will be going on a strict diet when I return--I have been stuffed full of delicious Chinese fare every 20 minutes by various hospitable guests, and it is definitely showing.)
I'm sure the payment (in cash!) will help me feel better about myself. And if that doesn't work, I suppose I can always go downstairs to the spa for another round of breast massage.
Update: It's true, having thousands of dollars in your purse DOES make a person feel better! And the host of the workshop was very complimentary about my role as a workshop leader. So all is well again, and I think I may take the rest of the night off from the Big Idea and try to get back on track with my NaNoWriMo project--which is WOEFULLY out of date.
Posted by madchen at 04:28 AM | Comments (0)November 13, 2006
China—Days Two and Three*
*Alternatively titled: Molested in Shanghai
Sunday was my day to explore Shanghai. I was met at 9:30 a.m. by a bright, chipper 23-year old by the name of Jackie, who graciously took me to see all of Shanghai's most prominent attractions. I saw the Oriental Tower, a monstrosity of ugly design that seems to delight the residents to no end. We took a walk around Pudong, the new financial district that is all 100-story glass-fronted buildings and carefully sculpted parks, then partook of the Shanghai Sex Culture Museum, the Underwater Mysteries Tour (which was really just a few aquariums full of fish and a row of disgusting 100-year old fish in formaldehyde), the Fantastic World of Sound (a bizarre experience that neither Jackie or I understood), and the fancy underground crossing that took us under the Huangpu River from Pudong to Puxi—the "older" side of Shanghai (where the oldest things date back to the 1920s).
A nice walk through the main shopping street Nanjing donglu and then a taxi ride ultimately led us to the Old Town section for a traditional lunch. By then I was exhausted, but delighted to take the ferry back to Pudong, then a walk and bus ride back to the hotel. All in all, I managed to try out all of Shanghai's transport options (except the subway—and I'm not sure I can manage that on my own).
By then I was desperate to take a nap, but decided that a massage was a nice alternative—and one that would better serve my attempt to acclimate to the time difference. And what an experience it was! First of all, a massage at the hotel spa was surprisingly inexpensive—two hours for $60. And it wasn't just a massage—on no, there was also molestation!
(It occurs to me that some of you, dear reader, will attribute that last statement to my flair for the dramatic—but let me assure you that I am *not* exaggerating. Unless you think that a breast massage (complete with nipple pinching) is part and parcel of a Shanghai massage. Which maybe it is, but was still rather shocking. My complete inability to communicate prevented me from better dealing with the situation—I confess that my ultimate reaction was to keep my eyes shut and go to a "happy place" where my breasts weren't being assaulted by a strange Chinese man.)
Aside from that very uncomfortable 15 minutes, I thoroughly enjoyed the rest of the massage, but was very unhappy to discover that the process left me bruised. (I actually took a picture of my back this morning,, where the row of fingerprints down my spine does not do justice to the pain that woke me every time I moved last night.)
After the massage I had a very nice dinner with the company that contracted the Big Idea for the whole Shanghai project—then called it a night. So ended Day Two in China.
Day Three began early, and was filled with Big Idea activity. The workshop that I'm leading was VERY stressful, but I think it went well. Nothing as exciting as an uninvited breast massage—so I'll skip the details. Suffice it to say that the participants were quite nice, with excellent English skills. We'll see how it goes tomorrow, several of the participants were quite forthcoming with how they thought I should "improve" the sessions. Oh well—can't be everything to everyone, you know?
It's about 6:30 p.m. now. I've had a lovely dinner of room service and am now watching the tail end of Vanity Fair on HBO and making some corrections to tomorrow's workshop. I still haven't figured out how to spend my remaining time in Shanghai—that will be a task for tomorrow night. For now I just need to concentrate on convincing the workshop organizers to bring me back for a second time in the spring. I am determined to take a proper Chinese vacation, this week in Shanghai is just not enough.
Posted by madchen at 06:00 AM | Comments (2)November 11, 2006
China--Day One
Dear reader, it has been an exhausting trip. I left the house at 4:30 a.m. on Friday morning to catch a 6:50 a.m. flight to Chicago. A three hour layover, and then a 15 hour flight to Shangai (in a packed plane)--and then there was the hour and a half to get through customs. And THEN an hour drive from the airport to my hotel. Where I am right now, thank goodness, because any more and I was going to just curl up and sleep on the side of the road.
Shanghai is a strange place--a mix between Tokyo and New York City. And since I'm too tired to do a proper description justice, let's instead play a fun game of "Like/Not Like". Here we go:
How China is Like Japan: Fun English translations, like "New Paragon of Urban Bedroom" real estate and "Beauty Shadow Club" night life.
How China is Not Like Japan: Japan doesn't require Americans to have a visa, and the entry into the country is quick and painless. In China, not only do you have to have a visa (which is twice the price for Americans as for other nationalities), but there are THREE different forms to fill out upon entering the country. First, a SARS form, in which you are asked to list any SARS-like symptoms you've had in the past 48 hours, including cough, sneeze, and/or snivel. Second, an entry form, similar to all other countries, where you list name, address, reason for visit, etc. Third, a declaration form, which basically asks you to re-enter all the entry form information, plus identify whether you are carrying into the country any fruit or poisonous reptiles.
How China is Like Japan: Crazy drivers that believe lanes are mostly suggestions, and men who pull their cars over to the side of the road, and then pee into the gutter like it's no big deal. Also, adorable trucks with guys and their lady friends driving together to deliver their goods.
How China is Not Like Japan: In China, they drive on the right side of the road.
How China is Like Japan: Oh the neon signs. It's everywhere, EVERYWHERE. And there are cars and bikes and people and vespas and old people pedaling giant flats of shrubbery and more people and more cars everywhere you look.
How China is Not Like Japan: I don't remember Japanese drivers using their horns with such frequent, not-so-friendly vigor. From my hotel room on the 10th floor, the cacophony outside is distinctly New York-ish.
How China is Like Japan: Two words: Picture Menus. Thank goodness, because there were several things I would have ordered based on their descriptions that were totally revolting in the picture. And I'm not a picky eater by any means, but there is something about jellied meats that just doesn't sit well.
How China is Not Like Japan: I was secretly hoping that Shanghai food would be more like Japanese food. I love ramen noodle bowls (the real Japanese kind, not the kind you get for $0.08 a piece at Safeway) and everything that goes along with it. And maybe I was missing something, but the pork and vegetable rolls I got tonight more resembled a deep fat fried roll of lunch meat (with a sprig of cabbage in the middle for good measure) than an exotic foreign food.
How China is Like Japan: EVERYONE SMOKES. Even during meals. Between bites. From gold cigarette holders.
How China is Not Like Japan: Nope, the smoking is JUST LIKE JAPAN.
How China is Like Japan: Fancy toilets, with Star Trek control panels. Bidet options include "hip cleaning" (with a nice picture of a spurt of water between the buttocks) and "for women" which I can only assume means a different location for the spurting. There is a drying option, and a caution about the heat level--which makes me VERY nervous about trying the whole thing out.**
How China is Not Like Japan: As far as I can tell, there isn't soft core porn on any of the television channels. But it's early yet, so perhaps in a few hours this will, indeed, become just like Japan.
Ok, that's all I can muster for now. I'm sitting in my room after a strange dining experience. I wasn't sure if it would be considered rude to bring a book with me to dinner, so I went unarmed. I was surrounded by groups of people in the middle of elaborate, multi-course (and, of course, smoke-filled) dinners. About five minutes after I ordered, the jet lag caught up to me and I had a full-on Lost in Translation experience where everything was a blur (with weird Asian techno playing in the background) and I felt very out of place. Not in a bad, uncomfortable way--just in a regular out-of-place sort of way.
So now I'm back in my room, dressed in the robe and slippers so thoughtfully provided, and greedily eyeing the bed with its fluffy white duvet and piles of pillows. Everything seems to be in order, and I can't wait to get started on my sightseeing tomorrow morning.
**But, since I consider it my duty to all my America-bound readers to give them the full vicarious experience, I will make a point to try it all out and report back tomorrow.
Posted by madchen at 05:12 AM | Comments (1)November 09, 2006
Time To Panic
I'm leaving the house in five hours, and I'll be arriving in Shanghai in approximately 24 hours. Up until now I've been pretty laid back about the whole thing. Yes, my Big Idea presentation is done, but not polished. Yes, my visa is ready, but the ticket isn't printed. Yes, the laundry is done, but it's not completely packed.
I think it's time to panic.
Fortunately, I have a whole two days to work on presentation between now and Monday morning, when my 16 hours of talking begins. (Note to self: remember to pack cough drops.) And my iPod is loaded up with LOTS of good television shows. (Note to self: remember to pack iPod charger.) I have an e-ticket, so I don't have to worry about losing my ticket at the last minute. (Note to self: remember to bring invitation letter that accompanies the business visa.)
So, really, maybe I have enough time to watch a couple episodes of The Avengers. Ahh, I love Mrs. Peel.
In an interesting, yet completely off-topic alternate ending to this entry, I realized yesterday evening that I had gone the ENTIRE day wearing my underwear backwards. They were brand new, and a little "exotic"--with not so much coverage in the back. And I always cut off the tag (I hate the base-of-the-spine-itch), so it wasn't immediately apparent that the lacy side should have been covering my backside, while the clear mesh part should have been showcasing my frontside. I was actually changing into my pajamas when the realization took place (and only then because I noticed the little strip of white tag that remained sewn into the back--which was then the front). I swapped them around, and I can report, dear reader, that it didn't seme to make a lot of difference. Who knew?
Posted by madchen at 11:27 PM | Comments (1)November 07, 2006
The Ugly Reality
It's time to face the fact, dear reader. There are just not enough hours in the day to accomplish everything on the Write Again Soon agenda.
While my family might scoff, the truth is that I'm working at least 12 hours a day on the Big Idea--and often 16-18 hours. Between trying to manage my main client (the contract runs through mid-December and I'm trying to convince them to extend it into 2007), writing 4-6 pieces (blog updates, press releases, celebrity gossip--did you see that Brit kicked K-Fed to the curb?!?) every week for another client, getting all the details finalized for my trip to China (leaving in 2 days, 7 hours, 2 minutes), meeting with PR colleague and potential partner--it all adds up to one tired madchen.
Add to that my trip today up to the old neighborhood to vote (I apparently forgot to change my voter registration to the new address), a date with yet another boy tomorrow night, and then making plans for post-China--and I'm basically treading water in a deep sea of despair. That's my excuse for only having 8,399 words (instead of the 11,666 I'm supposed to have by midnight) written in my brilliant, never-to-be-finished-at-least-not-at-this-rate NaNoWriMo novel. Que cera.
So that's my pity party for now. Feel free to share your own sad tales of NaDissFinMo, pretty-wasting, soggy cereal, and lack-of-follow-through woe.
And now, just in case you read this on Election Eve, let me point you to the CNN Blog Party. Because it's always fun to use the internet while watching television--and especially fun to know that all of those bloggers are at Tryst in Adams Morgan at this very moment!
Posted by madchen at 05:57 PM | Comments (2)November 05, 2006
That's Not a Date
"Aunt Jen, I cannot BELIEVE that you are still in your pajamas at nine o'clock in the afternoon." **
I know, it's pretty silly, but I do have a good reason. I have a date tonight and I wanted to take a shower in the afternoon so that I would be especially clean for our dinner.
"What are you going to do on your date?"
We're just going to dinner.
"That's not a date."
Why not?
"A date is when you go for a walk. Or you go DANCING. Are you going dancing?"
Nope, just to dinner.
"Well, that's not a date."
What is it then?
"Well...it's not a PERSONAL date."
So what is it?
"Geez, Aunt Jen, it's just dinner!"
** Note to reader: It was really 2 p.m., but I will defend to my dying breath the right to wear flannel pajama bottoms and a sweatshirt ALL Saturday afternoon if I so choose.
[And a very nice dinner it was. In fact, it was delightful. I mean, it wasn't a PERSONAL date--like, with dancing--but I do believe I might see this young man again sometime soon.]
Posted by madchen at 12:00 AM | Comments (2)November 04, 2006
Behind the Times
Crap. I'm only at [pause to calculate] 3,788 words in my NaNoWriMo project--WELL under the target goal for this weekend. My excuse?
Well, Thursday was filled with activity, including a meeting in Bethesda, an afternoon up in Frederick, book club in the evening, and then a completely unplanned (and yet so totally worth it) trip to see Mr. FWB. And then Friday was spent picking up my Chinese visa (yeah baby--just 7 days now!), meeting with a Big Idea client, having lunch with a Big Idea contact, more Big Idea work, dinner with Ms. Rather Be Travelling and friends, and then going out for dessert with the family. All told it was after midnight when I finally collapsed into bed.
And that, dear reader, is why I'm so behind with my novel. But I have 6 solid hours in front of me to catch up, before I dash off to another date. This will be the first time I've gone out with this particular gentleman, and so I hope to be able to devote at least some of that six hours to coming up with a suitable moniker for him.
Having now had the opportunity to compare Mr. Bethesda (Sunday) with Mr. FWB (Thursday), I have to say that there is not one clear winner. I would give them both gold medals for enthusiasm. Mr. FWB gets more points for creativity (I learned some very disturbing, very titillating things about him on Thursday--including a membership in an--ahem--alternative online community), but Mr. Bethesda gets points for good behavior--knowing when to be nice (walking me back to my car) and not-so-nice (I will spare you the details). Fortunately for me, no decision between them needs to be made immediately and I am free to continue a detailed comparison in the coming weeks. And throwing New Guy in to the mix will be even more fun.
That, dear reader, is all the details I can spare. I've got to get back to the writing of my grand novel--which I'm now wishing I had developed in the erotica genre. I have more fodder for that than my current chick lit design. Oh well, live and learn.
Posted by madchen at 12:49 PM | Comments (0)November 01, 2006
NaNoWriMo
It's (almost) the end of Day 1 of NaNoWriMo, and I'm happy to report that I have a whopping 1,852 words written. That's right, ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-FIVE words more than my daily deadline.
However, as my gentle NaNoWriMo email pointed out today:
The keys to thriving in Week One are straightforward:
1) Surge early. To be on par for the month, you should be writing 1667 words per day. In Week One, try to get 2000 or 2500 a day, and beg, borrow, and steal as much of the first weekend as possible to write. You won't need to keep up this pace throughout the month, but nothing guarantees a NaNoWriMo victory (and a fun month) like opening up a hefty lead in the first week.
2) Know that you're not doing any of this alone. As you dive into your book, 70,000 other souls are going through the same ups and downs of the Great Sleep-Deprived Novel. Whenever you're feeling like hurling your laptop out the window or setting fire to your favorite noveling notebook, come to a local write-in or stop by the NaNoWriMo forums for encouragement and reassurance. Likewise, whe never you've had a ferociously productive writing day, celebrate by sending a pep talk or sports car or box of fantastically expensive Swiss chocolates to a writer in distress.
3) Embrace the fear. It's okay to be nervous. Nervous just means you're pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone---which is when great and magical things happen. Even if you have a complete story outline to serve as a map for the month, it's still terrifying to be stepping out into the frontier of your imagination. I blame this on a lifetime of exposure to the perplexing idea that art should be made by artists, and novels left to novelists.
Hmm, guess I still have some work to do tonight, since I'm determined to get 2,500 words under my belt by midnight tonight. Ambitious? I've found the key is to forbid myself from visiitng Target until the deadline is achieved. And since the soap situation is going to be desperate tomorrow, I do believe I can make the goal before closing time.
Check out my profile here. (Well, right now the server seems to have crashed, which is not surprising since 70,000 people have signed up. But check back...I bet it's up and running in no time.)
Update: Yeah bitches, I am a writing fool! New total: 2,522. And now, a reward trip to buy soap...
Posted by madchen at 05:22 PM | Comments (2)
