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July 04, 2006
Sensitive
Tonight I found myself driving home, crying over something silly (and probably swerving all over the place), and when I finally arrived I had an almost overwhelming impulse to throw some things in a suitcase and continue driving as far as my car could take me to start a new life somewhere else.
I mentally identified the three pairs of shoes that could carry me through my new role as waitress at a roadside diner, and the pajamas that would be most appropriate for long, hot nights in Guatemala. I decided to take my iPod, but leave my laptop--since I had no reason to believe I would ever want to communicate with anyone from my old life again. No, I would be too busy hiking in Moab, camping in Joshua Tree, and getting my kicks on Route 66.
I calculated how much money it would take to buy a one-way ticket to Mexico City, how long I could live on the local economy, and how I would cope with the inevitable digestive problems from drinking the local water. I actually decided that enduring the misery of bacterial disease on the floor of a shabby hotel room in Oaxaca was preferable to admitting defeat and crawling into my own bed to face another day.
I sat in the darkened car, debating my options. I had $60 in cash and access to a couple thousand dollars in the bank. Although I had no idea where I was going, it would be rather an adventure to just start driving and see where I ended up. And even though it would be uncomfortable, I supposed I could sleep in the car if I couldn't find a hotel once I got tired. It was time for a change--and any change, as long as it was drastic, would do.
Instead I went inside, washed my face, tidied up the bathroom, and folded some laundry. But I did take a long look at my overnight bag and wondered how far I could get on single tank of gas.
Comments
I would miss you terribly.... And I'm here if you need to talk.
Posted by: ada at July 4, 2006 08:45 AM
I could see you had hit yout limit last night, but didn't know what to do about it. We are a highly flawed, unique bunch of individuals whose priorities are changing and seem to be headed in different directions. My only consolation is thatthe good times still seem to outweigh the bad.
Posted by: La at July 4, 2006 09:02 AM
What happened!? Did wasteful and gluttonous Independence Day celebrations dull the pain?
Posted by: Mr. Bad Apologies at July 5, 2006 09:45 AM
