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July 07, 2006
Hater
This is the summer of my discontent.
Lots of time to read frivilous fiction, special attention for make-up and accessories, an hour in Whole Foods admiring the exotic produce, a new pair of pajamas--all my usual perk-me-up tricks have failed me. Spending time with my friends has me on the verge of tears, time with my family makes me want to scream, time alone leaves me restless and anxious. I'm angry and weepy and miserable. In short, I'm hating life.
Fortunately, I am also a very high-functioning hater.
So even though I want to kill my Big Idea collaborators and nothing would please me more than cancelling all my appointments for the next two weeks, I am somehow plodding on. I arrive smiling at happy hours and shill my wares. I answer the phone cheerfully and act interested in what people have to say. I cook a 3-dish vegan meal and listen to the same stories told three times and tolerate a shrieking 5-year old who does a great impersonation of Helen Keller at the dinner table. I clean up cat vomit and put away laundry and do yoga, and then lay awake at night for hours, planning my escape.
Ah yes, it is a joy to be me.
(Yes, dear reader, I recognize the symptoms. Now go away and leave me alone with my ennui. And yes, I recognize that symptom too.)
Comments
I suggest a relaxing vacation in Gotham. While I'm at work, you can schedule an appointment at Bliss Spa and then when you're done, we can go have a sinful dinner somewhere in Nolita.
Posted by: KT at July 7, 2006 09:33 AM
I like KT's suggestion! I want to do that too!
Posted by: Red at July 7, 2006 08:39 PM
I know how you feel (at least as much as one person can understand how another person feels, that is).
I've been in a pissy, discontented funk for about a month now. The only remedy, that I've found, that temporarily relieves the feeling of ennui is to fling myself into some new activity.
Or sometimes you just have to embrace the ennui.
Posted by: EnnuiHerself at July 8, 2006 01:58 AM
I found yuo through Ennuiherself. Just want to say that, while I can't really understand how you feel, I am having my own discontented summer myself. I desperatly need a job, and am having ZERO luck, and I feel like time is running out on me. I just want to drive away like you've been talking about.
My life sucks and it doesn't seem to be moving forward. I agree that an activity works, I've taken to reading (any other world is better than mine) and doing something for yourself you like.
Treat yourself. Why not?
Posted by: Gunngirl at July 9, 2006 12:52 AM
