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May 04, 2006
My Life
My life is mornings when I work for hours in front of my computer, clad only in my pajamas. A cat is usually snuggled somewhere close by, and I listen to NPR podcasts as I type away. I might take a break to let in the Safeway grocery delivery person, but it's usually a quiet time to reflect on the hours to come.
My life is afternoons replete with conference calls, a life of trying to keep in touch with people around the globe. Between trying to generate some business, work with potential partners, find sponsors for a Big Idea project, stay current with my Sweden classmates, and maintain some semblance of a social life--I'm not succeeding at many. Jack of all trades, master of none.
My life is sitting in front of the computer at night, trying to catch up on all the projects that *seemed* like such a good idea when they presented themselves, but now might just be the time suck that drags me under. Tools and services that once promised to track my time/expenses, streamline my workload, refinance my mortgage, and **add an inch overnight!!** have no place here.
My life is random opportunities to spend money...or not. I might spend 25 minutes talking to the Cingular man about abandoning Verizon to upgrade to a Treo and then realize the utter irony of committing to a phone plan whose annual cost equals exactly what I've made this year through the Big Idea. Or I might spend an hour shopping at the mall, picking out three shirts, one pair of pants, and one pair of shorts, wander around looking for an open register to plunk down my credit card, and then stop mid-stride, hang up the clothes on a spare rack, and exit the store empty-handed. These times make me very proud, and give me an ounce of justification for the pedicure that I splurged on later that day.
My life is good friends whose schedules seem to be specifically designed to conflict with mine. For all the flexibility that the Big Idea offers, it somehow inevitably requires a conference call during the ONE time a group lunch is planned. Or a networking happy hour (in which I plaster on my *oh so happy to meet you let me tell you about my Big Idea and how I can help you be a richer, happier, more fulfilled person* face and hand out business cards) during the one time spontaneous fun is offered.
My life is blazing confidence and raging doubt, blistering pride and dark self-loathing. My life is nonstop work and hours at the duck pond. My life is 5-year old kissed and friendly benefits. My life is exciting and mundane, reckless and timid, stubborn and meek--but it's mine to do with as I choose.
