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April 06, 2006
The Enemy's Lair
Last night, I went to the 2006 Sea Air Space Expo Banquet, hosted by the Navy League. In case you've never been to one of these events, dear reader, let me tell you a bit about it.
Basically all the military-industrial complex bigwigs are there, showing off their latest designs for "the war on terror"--and by that I mean "how to blow up the most people at a time". All the players attend--Boeing, Raytheon, Lockheed, Halliburton, etc. They hand out little door prizes and the alcohol flows freely, setting off a chain of events that results in people (ok, *me*) wandering around aimlessly with a drink in one hand and the other hand grasping for Godiva chocolates, tiny keyring mag-lites, a mini-mouse, snazzy calculators, 18-piece tool sets, an infrared mousepad USB hub, dozens of chocolate gold coins, pens, stuffed animals (winner of the 2006 irony prize was a company that was giving away stuffed baby seals), and fleece blankets. And I haven't even gotten to the part where the industry reps shower you with mardi gras beads (complete with blinking American flag trinkets attached) and long stemmed roses.
While the technology is admittedly cool (you could sit in a pretend helicopter and try to land on a moving aircraft carrier), it was a little disconcerting to be around so many people who thought 50mm calibre rounds were the best thing since sliced bread. This is not to say, however, that I didn't heartily greet the SAAB guys and try out my Swedish phrases. And it didn't take much convincing for my partner-in-crime (my normally staid father) to join in their delightful vodka shots.
For the banquet part of the meal (the above description was just the pre-dinner festivities), we were seated with a table with some industry guys who had "sponsored" the table for what I can only assume was an extravagent price. The irony of it was (as if *me* being at this event wasn't irony enough) that this particular company was one that had threatened a libel lawsuit against my previous employer when we announced in a press release that we didn't consider them "socially responsible". I managed to keep my mouth shut for the whole meal, but shared an "inside" chuckle later on.
In the end, I went home with a bag of loot and a couple of sore feet. (My plan to "have another glass of wine, and maybe a glass of champagne, and--oh--isn't that a vodka shot?" as a means to dull the foot pain really just made me question whether is wasn't really okay to just take the shoes off entirely and go barefoot.) And so for all my general holier-than-thou attitude towards the conservative, pro-military attitude, I find myself typing this entry using my fancy new Raytheon mousepad with my L3 Communications mini-mouse, all while munching on some Boeing chocolate, snuggled under my Halliburton subsidiary fleece blanket.
Thank you, taxpayers.
Comments
With the exception of Halliburton and blowing things up, the loot festival sounds a lot like the job fairs (for me) and the wedding expos (for my sister) that I've been attending.
Posted by: Elizabeth at April 7, 2006 06:31 PM
damn. I can't talk to you anymore.
And please delete all my previous comments on your site.
Posted by: Bastish at April 11, 2006 08:36 AM
