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March 14, 2006
Reasons My Date Was Not a Success
I went to dinner with Mr. Border Collie this evening. Actually, we met at 4:30 since he was coming up from Virginia and wanted to miss the traffic, so we ended up having coffee first, then moving on to dinner--which was especially painful since I knew halfway through the coffee that it was not going anywhere. Because:
-- He didn't know what an "independent" movie was. Even after I explained it, he said "oh, you mean with subtitles."
-- When asked the question: "if you could go anywhere in the world for a month, with all expenses paid, where would it be?" he answered "Utah, so I could go skiing". When pressed for something more exotic, he came up with "Hawaii".
-- He mumbled, often ending sentences before they made sense, and then finishing with a wild hand gesture and a "you know?" Half of the time I had NO idea what he was talking about.
-- I obviously intimidated him, and he was ok with that, preferring the role of "boy to be educated".
-- At the end of the date, he even gave me a VERY intimate hug (with the awkward shifting of weight from foot to foot) and I think was trying to move in for a kiss when I rather abruptly said, "ok, well, I'll see ya" to which he replied "I'll call you tomorrow!"
In short, he was a very nice man who will make someone a fantastic husband, but NOT ME. And because he refuses to use email (strike sixteen, he's out), I'm going to have to tell him over the phone that I "just don't feel the chemistry". Tomorrow, apparently.
SIDE NOTE: Men, go to your closet right now and pull out all your pants with pleats. BURN THEM IMMEDIATELY. Women, drag your man to his closet right now and pull out all the pants with pleats. BURN THEM IMMEDIATELY and make it clear that sex will be withheld until he solemnly promises to refrain from wearing pleated pants EVER AGAIN. Mr. Bad Apologies, please back me up here.
Comments
I wholeheartedly concur. Of course, this is largely because the last pair of pleated pants (outside of Sears) were sold in 1992. It might, for some strange reason, come back again, and a fashion forward gent might be able to pull them off. But for any of you who HAVE THEM NOW, you are not that fashion forward type of gent. Stick with flat front, from here to eternity. They are the most "classic" look, and you, apparently, need to stick with the classics.
Posted by: Mr. Bad Apologies at March 15, 2006 11:19 AM
I dated a Border Collie last month. Definitely not the kind of dog/guy that you or I are suited for dating, but very good dating material (for the right person).
So now what's on tap?
Posted by: Mr. Bad Apologies at March 15, 2006 06:26 PM
I searched through my closet (well, actually the pike of clothes in the corner of the room) to see if I had any pleated pants. Onfortunatly, I realized I didn't know what "pleated" pants meant, so I had to look it up on google. Somewhere along the way I got sidetracked and I never did figure out what they were or if I had them. But I sure hope I don't!
Posted by: Bastish at March 16, 2006 07:51 PM
