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March 13, 2006
Insert Awkward Pause Here
Looking back, I've noticed that my social life--at least as far as boys are concerned--tends to go in cycles.
-- First, the long dry spell. At the beginning, it appears as though there is simply a lull in my dating life. Then, as the days turn to weeks, and then months, I begin to wonder if a person can forget how to kiss.
-- Suddenly, I'm surrounded by eligible men--all dying to get a piece of Ms. Write Again Soon. This is usually preceded by a severe round of internet dating--where hapless gentlemen are set up to view me on a pedestal.
-- Several months go by, in which I frantically struggle to keep everyone's name straight, faultering with details like where they live, how many pets they have, and--even once--whether I've even talked to them before. One by one, I go on dates with these fine young men, most of whom never make it to a second date.
-- And then, once again, the dry spell begins.
Of course, it's not always that predictable. For instance, tonight I had a phone conversation with the Most Awkward Man Ever (MAME). My conversation with MAME (lasting 17:04 minutes) went something like this:
MAME: Ms. Write Again Soon?
Me: Yes?
MAME: This is MAME.
Me: Oh hi! I'm so glad you called. I was wondering if I should call you tonight, but then I thought it might be too late.
(Awkward pause.)
Me: So, what have you been up to today?
MAME: Well, I've been working.
(Awkward pause.)
Me: That's right, you had mentioned you just got back from New York. What were you doing up there?
MAME: I was visiting my grandparents--my grandfather went into the hospital late last week.
(Awkward pause.)
Me: Oh, that's too bad. Is everything ok now?
MAME: Yes, he's doing better.
(Awkward pause.)
I'll spare you the rest of the conversation, since you can probably get the idea. When I managed mid-conversation to look up his online profile, the word "ENGINEER" screamed at me. Apparently, social discourse is not one of his specialties. We left it with "give me a call sometime" to which I responded "sure thing". And then, there was the ubiquitous awkward pause.
Sigh.
On the other hand, it appears I have a date with Mr. Border Collie (BC) tomorrow night. And then another date with Mr. Cool on Saturday. I believe the dry spell is broken.
Comments
Hey, aint nothin wrong with engineers. Most of them are genius types somewhere on the autistic spectrum, just like I hear Einstein was. Low EQ, high other-Q.
Some day, given time, the non-engineer genes will slowly self-deselect their way out of society and the world will be happy.
I wish I was an engineer.
Posted by: Bastish at March 14, 2006 10:41 AM
