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March 31, 2006
Upbeat News
Well, after my somewhat mixed impression of my presentation yesterday, several people who I thought were on the side of "who invited this girl?" have come up to me to say that they were thrilled with my presentation. Apparently, people were talking about it all evening, and it was one of the more thought-provoking sessions. And I was even complimented on my "strong presentation style" and remarks were made about "how brave you were to invite disagreement!". Clearly, they didn't see my knees knocking together and a rather warm, sweaty sheen on my body towards the end of the Q&A.
So now I'm much more cheerful about the whole thing. One of the organizers who sat in on my talk even asked me to come back next year!
Now, I'm sitting in the hotel lobby, trying to work on a writing project before its time to get back to the airport for my flight home. The weather here has been gorgeous and I have my fingers crossed that it will be just as sunny and warm in D.C. for this weekend.
Posted by madchen at 03:29 PM | Comments (3)March 30, 2006
Oops
I literally just got back to my hotel room after presenting my talk at a Big Idea conference. There were approximately 30 people in the room, and about 25 of them had blank looks on their faces the ENTIRE time. Afterwards (thinking that the conference organizers would probably ask for their money back), I was relieved to find that the remaining 5 people came up to me and said that I was terrific and wonderful and cutting-edge. Apparently, the whole "systems view of sustainability" (which I presented in a single slide) was about all most people could take—and that everything that naturally followed was too far out of their realm of acceptance.
Clearly I need to work on "knowing my audience:.
Oh well, at least 5 people liked it (and several suggested opportunities for partnerships with the Big Idea). Perhaps I can close the gap over dinner--or maybe should just surround myself with people who already "get it".
Posted by madchen at 04:33 PM | Comments (2)March 27, 2006
Beat My Donkey, Please
Not much has been going on here at Write Again Soon. The emotional angst associated with Mr. Cool has diminished. We've exchanged a few emails, but it doesn't really look like it's going anywhere. And the Big Idea is overwhelming, yet not particularly noteworthy. To top is all off, I spent an hour of my evening watching Deal or No Deal--an hour that I'll never get back.
Yes, dear readers, it's VERY exciting at the Write Again Soon household.
One thing of note this weekend, however, was seeing Cyro Baptista and his band "Beat the Donkey" at the Lisner Auditorium on Saturday night.
Sword dancing, acrobatic stunts, and instruments from washboards to Balinese gongs collide when Cyro Baptista and his Beat the Donkey band burst on stage with all the impact of a Brazilian carnival. This hilarious fusion overload is a party for the senses.
Well, I have to say that the sword dancing was mediocre, and a little more acrobatic stunts would have been welcome. All told, I thought it was very entertaining--if a little bit "percussion-y". Which, I suppose, I should have expected.
On the other hand, we did end up getting two tickets for free (since I accidentally mis-ordered the tickets when I placed the order months ago and 5 of us showed up with only 3 tickets) when the Washington Performing Arts Society staff took pity on my stupidity. Unfortunately, the "Culture Vulture" after party touted by WPAS was not so great, and I quote from the two friends who tried it out:
You were right not to pay the $10 cover for the after-party. The free drinks were terrible, as were the "gourmet snacks" and the sex ratio was way more chicks than dudes. I think we stayed about 10 minutes.
and...
The after party thing sucked...be glad you didn't pay to get in. The "gourmet" snacks were basically greasy biscutty-meat things, and the "free drinks" consisted of ONE ticket to get ONE passion-fruit martini, which was the nastiest drink EVER. Seriously. It tasted like distilled asparagus with a strawberry twist. Gross.
Note to self: avoid the Culture Vulture events from now on.
Posted by madchen at 09:09 PM | Comments (0)March 25, 2006
The Times, They Are A-Changin'
I was in the car a couple of days ago, listening to 94.7 FM (The Arrow). If you aren't familiar with it, dear reader, they affectionately call themselves "The Home of Classic Rock".
First, some Rolling Stones.
Then, some Eric Clapton.
And then, wha....?
That's right, Nirvana is now considered "classic rock". Good Lord I'm getting old.
Posted by madchen at 06:20 PM | Comments (1)March 23, 2006
Hallelujah Redux
HE EMAILED.
I want to write that when I checked my email and saw the message from him that the skies opened up and angels sang from the heavens. But then it occurred to me that it was a familiar sentiment. Lo and behold, it appears I have encountered this phenomenon before, and not with very nice results.
On the other hand, this TOTALLY confirms my karma paranoia from last night. I was pathetically overanalyzing the situtation with Ms. ADA before our book club meeting, and concluded that because I hadn't called Mr. Border Collie back (he left two messages in the days after our failed date, which I had not returned), I was being punished by having Mr. Cool blow me off with nary a word.
Imagine my surprise when I checked my phone after book club and discovered that Mr. Border Collie had called AGAIN. Here was my chance to get back on the "right" side of the moral line! I called him back and (blessedly) got his voicemail. I left a brief message and then surrendered to fate. And fate seems to have appreciated the effort.
I think.
To sum up the email, Mr. Cool will not be attending the theatre event with me on Saturday due to other obligations. But there were references to "let me know what you think of XXX" which seems to me to encourage additional conversation. I don't know, we'll see. I've called in the girls for additional analysis.
But I'm definitely calling up every guy I ever blew off, to build up a karma reservoir. Clearly, I'm walking a fine line where it could go either way.
Posted by madchen at 12:56 PM | Comments (1)March 22, 2006
Organic Milk By Any Other Name...
I try to buy organic food whenever possible. For one thing, I prefer to put as few chemicals in my body as possible (or at least try to offset the diet soda I consume), and less toxic runoff into watersheds can only be a good thing--no one likes a three-eyed fish (unless it's on the Simpsons).
So I was interested in this report by the Cornucopia Institute's Organic Integrity Project (via Grist):
on the "organic-ness" of 68 dairy name brands and private labels. While cow-conscious consumers might assume that the word "organic" on the label means that their milk mustache comes from a happy cow grazing in non-pesticide-laden pastures, that's not always the case; guidelines for organic certification can be variously interpreted, and the USDA is lax on enforcing regulations. The report finds that while the majority of name-brand organic producers do hold to high legal and ethical standards, 20 percent garnered a "one-cow" substandard rating (out of a possible five).
I found the report truly illuminating. As a suburbanite, I don't have much connection with my food sources, and I have long been curious about the environmental impacts of industrial agriculture. I thought this report gave excellent insight into the trade-offs made by big agricultural companies--particularly in relation to family farms. So if you have the time, you might want to skim over it--I promise you will want to buy local whenever possible.
But just in case you don't want to read the entire 38-page report, I'll just give you the quick and dirty facts.
The best organic dairy labels in the DC area (note that some are milk, yogurt, or cheese only):
Butterworks Farm
Seven Stars
Butternut Farms
Organic Choice
Organic Valley (CROPP)
Cedar Grove Cheese
Amish Country Farms
Nancy's (Springfield Creamery)
Natural by Nature
Humboldt Creamery
Stonyfield (yogurt)
Wallaby Yogurt
Scenic Central Milk Prod. Co-op
Natural Choice
The Cornucopia Institute has also made a nifty tool on its website where you can search by locale or by brand, so if your favorite organic milk label isn't listed above, check it out for more information.
Note that the top companies -- Aurora Organic Dairy and Dean Foods (together controlling ~65% of the organic dairy market), which owns Horizon Organic, Organic Cow of Vermont and Alta Dena -- did not respond to the survey that Cornucopia sent out, for which they received a score of no cows. Personally, I will be avoiding them whenever possible for their lack of stakeholder responsiveness--even if that means giving up my beloved Silk brand soy milk. (Who knew they were owned by evil corporation Dean Foods? This is definitely "greenwashing" taking place.) Also declining to respond: private-label brands (like Safeway and Giant, and even including Whole Foods and Trader Joes), who are notorious for their lack of transparency in sourcing. Avoid them too, if you get the chance.
More on the groups behind the report:
The Cornucopia Institute is dedicated to the fight for economic justice for the family-scale farming community. Through research, advocacy and economic development our goal is to empower farmers both politically and through marketplace initiatives.
The Organic Integrity Project will act as a corporate and governmental watchdog assuring that no compromises to the credibility of organic farming methods and the food it produces are made in the pursuit of profit.We will actively resist regulatory rollbacks and the weakening of organic standards to protect and maintain consumer confidence in the organic food label.Posted by madchen at 10:36 PM | Comments (4)
What Goes Around
WHY DOESN'T HE CALL?
OR EMAIL?
Clearly I'm overthinking this issue. It's only been 14 hours since my "do you want to go out on Saturday" email (how sad is it that I know the number of hours?), yet I can't help checking my email every 2 minutes* and checking my voicemail every time I walk out of the room for a minute (despite the fact that I set my ringer on "high" and never stray more than down the hall).
I'm a freak.
I've become one of the women I hate**--obsessive about men and unable to talk about anything else. I can't concentrate on work (of which I have gads), and there's nothing else here to do except perhaps laundry, which at the most would provide me with 10 minutes of diverted attention.
What I need is to get away from the internet and my cell phone--thus breaking the mental chains that bind me to this notion that--at any given moment, even perhaps this VERY next moment--I can get off the emotional merry-go-round. Better to just live with the anxiety in a location that prevents me from acting upon it.
That's right, I'm going shopping.
* I've checked email three times during the writing of this entry...no, four times.
** Although the "now that I've found the love of my life, I am a complete woman" people also irritate me. Perhaps because they have what I don't, but still--do they have to be so annoying? To be honest, this doesn't really apply to anyone I know (at least the vast majority of the time), but has the unfortunate ability to crop up right when I'm feeling sensitive about my "strong, independent woman vs. need to be attached" dilemma.
Posted by madchen at 01:02 PM | Comments (1)March 21, 2006
Feeling
This afternoon I sat in the Takoma Park Library with a warm and snuggly 4-year old on my lap. We watched the Worlds Big and Small: Weston Woods/Scholastic Animations presentation of the DC Environmental Film Festival, along with a class of kindergarten and 1st graders. We were among the only "parent-child" attendees, and for one of the few times in my life I felt like a stay-at-home mom.
This afternoon I sat in Teaism, interviewing a guy who would like to come work for me on a contract basis. We discussed business and the common networks in which we participate. I asked about his background and where he saw his career going. We did not talk about our personal lives. For the only time in my life, I felt like a boss.
This evening I sat at the Melrose Hotel, surrounded by fellow small business owners looking to network. I ate cheese and crackers and drank water to avoid the cash bar. I won a Linksys Wireless Router in the raffle. I handed out business cards and discovered a new women's business network group and a potential host for the Big Idea conference in June. In what is becoming an almost normal experience, I felt like an entrepreneur.
This evening I drove home wishing that Mr. Cool would call, even if only to blow me off in a socially acceptable way. I checked my phone to make sure I hadn't missed a voicemail, and checked my email within 30 seconds of walking through the door. Still nothing, and so I sent him an email asking point blank if he would like to go to the theatre on Saturday. As I pushed "send" I was forced to conclude that while proactive initiative is what I'm best at, it makes me feel oh-so-vulnerable. In what is now an everyday occurance, I felt single and alone.
Posted by madchen at 10:42 PM | Comments (1)Busy, Busy
First, an update on Mr. Cool. So far, there has been an email exchange (ambiguous on his part, brazen on mine--well as brazen as "do you have plans for the weekend?" can be). There has been no telephone call, no plans for meeting again, and surprisingly little angst. I will follow Mr. Bad Apologies' suggestion and just jump him if I get the chance. And if I don't get the chance? Well, let's just say there are plenty of other fish in the internet dating pool just waiting to be caught.
And now, a review of the Big Idea. I have so many projects going that I can barely keep on top of it all. In a minor miracle, I actually have a tiny PAID job for next week--my first paycheck of 2006! (Another project has $$ committed, but not yet paid, so there's even more reason to be hopeful that the Big Idea will be successful.) The next few weeks are going to be crazy, with a trip to speak at a conference in North Carolina, a proposal to a local university due, a speaking engagement at a business roundtable, a gala networking event (tonight!), a conference to organize (I ache just thinking about the administrative details on that one), and a handful of other projects that I can't even think about.
Today is a typical one--where I'm committed to several different things and struggling to make them all fit. For instance, I've been working since 8 a.m. this morning on the Big Idea, but in an hour I will take Ms. Janie to a kid's movie shown by the D.C. Environmental Film Fesitval. After that, I'll drop her off with Grandma, hurry to Teaism for a Big Idea meeting with a potential contractor, then meander over to the abovementioned gala networking event. I have a vision of me stumbling home at 10 p.m. with a stack of business cards and not much to show for it--but perhaps I'll get lucky. So far, the DC networking scene has been very good to me.
And, of course, I'm trying to maintain a social life. I have calls set up with former classmates, coffee dates with former co-worker-now-friends, book club meetings, and tickets to cultural events. All within the next week. So it turns out that even if Mr. Cool wants to get together again, I might have to say no.
Who am I kidding? Certainly not you, dear reader. No, if he calls again, I'll happily drop pre-existing commitments on the off chance I can add "man love" to the roster of March 2006 activities.
UPDATE: And as proof of my multitasking skills, consider the following scenario: I just got off a call with a hotel that is a potential candidate to host a conference I'm organizing in June. Of course, he called just as I was getting out of the shower, so I was conducting the call in a towel. And by the end, Janie was doing my hair in what was later termed "a very lovely hair-do".
Posted by madchen at 11:13 AM | Comments (1)March 20, 2006
Results of Date #2
Inconclusive. Unclear. Uncertain. Questionable.
In a word: FRUSTRATING.
We left it on an "I'll call you", which means the next few days will be spent jumping every time the phone rings.
Posted by madchen at 05:21 PM | Comments (1)March 19, 2006
Butterflies
I had a date with Mr. Cool on Saturday and I'm all aflutter. *I* thought it went well, but it's too soon to tell whether he thought the same. In fact, detailed analysis incorporating input from every family member (plus Jess's boyfriend RB--who claims he can "read the tea leaves") was completely inconclusive.
I'm seeing him again tomorrow for a pre-arranged lecture on a topic of mutual interest, which makes it even more awkward since I don't know if he really WANTS to see me again, or if he's just too polite to cancel.
Anyway, the butterflies are active--but on the whole, it's so much nicer to feel them than the sinking feeling upon realizing a date is over before it starts.
Posted by madchen at 11:17 PM | Comments (0)March 18, 2006
You Know You're Weird When...
...you have a dream where Supreme Court Judge Samuel Alito confronts you with violent disapproval upon discovering that you have been secretly spying on the Republican Senate Committee majority on behalf of the Democrat Senate Committee minority. While on your way to a basketball game. In a subway/airport terminal that stops at the White House foyer. And you're equipped with night vision goggles (in broad daylight)--perhaps the giveaway the Judge needed to identify you as the mole.
Posted by madchen at 01:35 AM | Comments (0)March 17, 2006
Books I Read in March
I've been a rather one-track reader, so let me just condense the books in the Russell-Holmes series to one entry. I'm addicted--and rather sadly, I'm on the last one so I'll have to find a new passion after this week. Suggestions are welcome.
The Russell-Holmes Series by Laurie R. King
A Letter of Mary - It is the summer of 1923. England is recovering from the First World War, and the Second is not yet on the horizon. Russell and husband Holmes are busy with their various pursuits in the quiet Sussex countryside when an old friend's afternoon visit and subsequent murder get them embroiled in a mystery with lots of red herrings. Mary and Sherlock, assisted by Inspector LetradeJr., Mycroft and Billy of the Baker Street Irregulars, go undercover to investigate suspects.
The Moor - In The Moor, fourth in the series, Holmes and Russell are summoned to Devonshire to solve a tin miner's mysterious death. Lonely Dartmoor provides plenty of opportunities for King to both relate the haunting legends of that part of the world and offer some amusing revisions to one of Holmes's most famous cases, The Hound of the Baskervilles. Though Holmes purists might resent the liberties taken with their hero, readers in search of a strong female protagonist, some fascinating local history, and spooky ambience will enjoy The Moor.
O Jerusalem - Although O Jerusalem is Laurie King's fifth book in her Holmes-Russell series, it actually takes us back to the era of her first book, The Beekeeper's Apprentice. Perhaps King was afraid that her characters, Mary Russell and Sherlock Holmes, were becoming too cozy as an old married couple, and she wanted to recreate the edgy sexual tension of their first encounter. It's 1918. Nineteen-year-old Mary and her fiftysomething mentor are forced to flee England to escape a deadly adversary. Sherlock's well-connected brother Mycroft sends them to Palestine to do some international sleuthing. Here, a series of murders threatens the fragile peace.
Justice Hall - Justice Hall brings back two colorful characters from earlier in the series: Bedouins Ali and Mahmoud Hazr (now known as Alistair and Marsh), who last appeared in O Jerusalem. At their request, Holmes and Russell take up the trail of the doomed heir to Justice Hall, who has been executed for cowardice in the bloody trenches of France. As the detectives strive to make sense of his death and to locate another heir to the family title, an attempt is made on the life of the man who's soon to be welcomed as the new duke. Holmes and Russell soon realize something sinister is afoot, and that they must untangle a web of deceit to discover which of the many suspects is taking steps to shorten the line of inheritance.
The Game - The seventh Mary Russell adventure may well be the best King has yet devised for her strong-willed heroine. It's 1924, and Kimball O'Hara, the "Kim" of the famous Rudyard Kipling novel, has disappeared. Fearing some kind of geopolitical crisis in the making, Mycroft Holmes sends his brother and Mary to India to uncover what happened.
My Review - My goodness, I just can't get enough. My only complaint is that I feel like Mary undergoes a serious mental breakdown too often. While it may seem that dealing with her "conditions" is the only way to plausibly show Sherlock Holmes as a care-giver, it grates on my nerves.
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Little Children
by Tom Perrotta
Publishers Weekly: The characters in this intelligent, absorbing tale of suburban angst are constrained and defined by their relationship to children. There's Sarah, an erstwhile bisexual feminist who finds herself an unhappy mother and wife to a branding consultant addicted to Internet porn. There's Todd, a handsome ex-jock and stay-at-home dad known to neighborhood housewives as the Prom King, who finds in house-husbandry and reveries about his teenage glory days a comforting alternative to his wife's demands that he pass the bar and get on with a law career. There's Mary Ann, an uptight supermom who schedules sex with her husband every Tuesday at nine and already has her well-drilled four-year-old on the inside track to Harvard. And there's Ronnie, a pedophile whose return from prison throws the school district into an uproar, and his mother, May, who still harbors hopes that her son will turn out well after all. In the midst of this universe of mild to fulminating family dysfunction, Sarah and Todd drift into an affair that recaptures the passion of adolescence, that fleeting liminal period of freedom and possibility between the dutiful rigidities of childhood and parenthood. Perrotta (Election; Joe College; etc.) views his characters with a funny, acute and sympathetic eye, using the well-observed antics of preschoolers as a telling backdrop to their parents' botched transitions into adulthood. Once again, he proves himself an expert at exploring the roiling psychological depths beneath the placid surface of suburbia.
My Review: This is a book club selection, so I don't want to really think about it too much before our meeting. However, it struck me as odd to be reading what basically amounted to a chick lit book written by a man. In the reviews, this book is never mentioned as chick lit, but it has all the signs--families in crisis, subverted romance, the slightly dowdy woman who finds she's more than competition for her more attractive competitors through her sparkling personality alone. It was how I envisioned the next edition of Bridget Jones.
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The Dew Breaker
by Edwidge Danticat
Publishers Weekly: Haitian-born Danticat's third novel (after The Farming of Bones and Breath, Eyes, Memory) focuses on the lives affected by a "dew breaker," or torturer of Haitian dissidents under Duvalier's regime. Each chapter reveals the titular man from another viewpoint, including that of his grown daughter, who, on a trip she takes with him to Florida, learns the secret of his violent past and those of the Haitian boarders renting basement rooms in his Brooklyn home. This structure allows Danticat to move easily back and forth in time and place, from 1967 Haiti to present-day Florida, tracking diverse threads within the larger narrative. Some readers may think that what she gains in breadth she loses in depth; this is a slim book, and Danticat does not always stay in one character's mind long enough to fully convey the complexities she seeks. The chapters—most of which were published previously as stories, with the first three appearing in the New Yorker—can feel more like evocative snapshots than richly textured portraits. The slow accumulation of details pinpointing the past's effects on the present makes for powerful reading, however, and Danticat is a crafter of subtle, gorgeous sentences and scenes. As the novel circles around the dew breaker, moving toward final episodes in which, as a young man and already dreaming of escape to the U.S., he performs his terrible work, the impact on the reader hauntingly, ineluctably grows.
My Review: This was the book club selection from the month I missed while in Europe, and I only got around to reading it now. I understand that others who read it had a hard time letting go of the narrative, but I enjoyed the different viewpoints. It reminded me of a book of short stories I read a couple of years ago (whose name escapes me, but it was another book club book), where the stories seemed to be slightly intertwined. While I was moved while reading it though, it didn't stay with me the way other books about "heavy" subjects have.
Posted by madchen at 11:32 PM | Comments (0)March 16, 2006
Because I Need Something To Distract Before the NCAA Tournament Starts
Oh. My. Goodness.
My new favorite podcast is Ask A Ninja.
Because if ninjas can be accused of anything, it's loving too much.
Posted by madchen at 11:28 AM | Comments (0)No You Di-unt!!
I have to admit it: I miss school. At least, the part of it that involved heated debate of items of seemingly world-shaking importance. Outside of an academic setting, it's hard to get a rousing conversation about "how to save the world" off the ground.
So although I now officially have two master's degrees under my belt and am firmly ensconced in my professional career, I still like to keep a foot in the academic door. One of the ways I've been doing that is by submitting a public feedback document to the organization upon which my thesis was based. This organization is releasing a new set of guidelines and has asked interested parties to comment. Since I wrote my thesis on the topic, I thought it would be worthwhile to jot a little something down. Once I got it on paper, I thought it would be nice to ask if others from my graduate program would be interested in adding their names. So far, so good. I thought the thesis was pretty damn good, and why not?
With my consent, the feedback document was sent to some other professionals for comment--to see if they'd like to sign on as well. Just a few minutes ago I got a very thoughtful reply to that request from a professor in another country who works on the same topic, politely noting that he completely disagreed with the premise of my comment (and thus, my thesis).
He attached some documents to provide more background on his own research on the subject. I took a peek, and on the first page, I found that it's a lot more provocative than I thought. He basically sums up the foundation of my thesis (the notion that corporate sustainability leads to improved financial performance) and calls it:
"...perniciously, outrageously and blatantly untrue...The statements seem to be accepted when, at best, there is no evidence to support them and, at worst, they are breathtakingly untrue."
Them's fightin' words.
Posted by madchen at 12:35 AM | Comments (4)March 15, 2006
Happy Things About Today
1. Despite yesteday's fiasco of a date, I am still bubbling with excitement about a boy. Just a different boy. Mr. Cool (if all goes well I'll be changing his name to something less reminiscent of Mr. T) called me last night and we chatted for almost 2 hours. Moreover, we made plans for this Saturday, so with any luck I'll be able to top Date #1 of 2006 by this weekend.
2. Free coffee at Starbucks, and a pre-arranged coffee break with Ms. ADA at just the right interval. I love when perfect timing happens without effort.
3. Moving on to new Big Idea projects, after FINALLY finishing up with one. Well, I'm *almost* finished, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Ok, it's really a pinprick, but there's satisfaction nonetheless.
Posted by madchen at 10:27 AM | Comments (1)March 14, 2006
Reasons My Date Was Not a Success
I went to dinner with Mr. Border Collie this evening. Actually, we met at 4:30 since he was coming up from Virginia and wanted to miss the traffic, so we ended up having coffee first, then moving on to dinner--which was especially painful since I knew halfway through the coffee that it was not going anywhere. Because:
-- He didn't know what an "independent" movie was. Even after I explained it, he said "oh, you mean with subtitles."
-- When asked the question: "if you could go anywhere in the world for a month, with all expenses paid, where would it be?" he answered "Utah, so I could go skiing". When pressed for something more exotic, he came up with "Hawaii".
-- He mumbled, often ending sentences before they made sense, and then finishing with a wild hand gesture and a "you know?" Half of the time I had NO idea what he was talking about.
-- I obviously intimidated him, and he was ok with that, preferring the role of "boy to be educated".
-- At the end of the date, he even gave me a VERY intimate hug (with the awkward shifting of weight from foot to foot) and I think was trying to move in for a kiss when I rather abruptly said, "ok, well, I'll see ya" to which he replied "I'll call you tomorrow!"
In short, he was a very nice man who will make someone a fantastic husband, but NOT ME. And because he refuses to use email (strike sixteen, he's out), I'm going to have to tell him over the phone that I "just don't feel the chemistry". Tomorrow, apparently.
SIDE NOTE: Men, go to your closet right now and pull out all your pants with pleats. BURN THEM IMMEDIATELY. Women, drag your man to his closet right now and pull out all the pants with pleats. BURN THEM IMMEDIATELY and make it clear that sex will be withheld until he solemnly promises to refrain from wearing pleated pants EVER AGAIN. Mr. Bad Apologies, please back me up here.
Posted by madchen at 10:36 PM | Comments (3)Search Terms
Here are some of the search terms by which people have gotten to Write Again Soon this month:
-- wooly sheepdog
-- vomiting and expired hot chocolate
-- hippopotaumus discovery
-- hotwiring a crown vic
-- 1980s hairstyles
-- overly gregarious people
-- samuel alito fun facts
-- nick lachey rummaging through dumpsters for food
And my favorite:
-- how to be less emotionally sensitive
Yes, dear reader, you can learn that here.
Posted by madchen at 08:42 PM | Comments (0)Deal or No Deal
I've discovered that I *really* don't want to go on a date with Mr. Border Collie (Mr. BD). I originally gave him this name because he has a border collie, but upon further reflection it goes farther than that:
According to the official Border Collie website:
Because their early work was to gather sheep from the hills, Border Collies are, by nature, gatherers rather than drovers or tenders. They can, nevertheless, be taught to drive stock away from the shepherd and even to keep their charges within certain boundaries. They are also sensitive to commands from their handlers and can distinguish slight variations in the many whistles they understand, responding appropriately to each tone.
So far, so good. But then:
The dog's temperament must be sensitive enough to bend its will when asked, tough enough to stand up to the pressures of training, eager to learn, with enough confidence and determination to carry on with its work without constant guidance. Some Border Collies are reserved rather than outgoing, but they must love to work with and for the master.
Ahh, here we have it. Mr. Border Collie is too sensitive, too eager to learn, to ready to work with and for the master (in this case, me). In a word, he's pliable. He's rather like a puppy--the potential to be a good working dog, but clumsy and awkward and quite possible drooling.
On the other hand, Mr. Border Collie isn't all bad. He's very persistant (a "herder" one might even suppose), calling me with startling regularity despite my lackluster enthusiasm, and giving me the impression that he would be a very faithful partner. And he's certainly hard working (as his dog-profile would suggest), owning a very profitable business, and thus allowing him to buy a new, much praised truck.
Did I mention he loves trucks? I mean he LOVES trucks. In the several conversations we've had, it's come up repeatedly--with him actually asking me "so, do you like trucks?" Seriously, Ms. Write Again Soon couldn't care less what Mr. Border Collie drives, and yet he persists with his bashful enthusiasm.
This is why I'm a cat person.
Posted by madchen at 02:05 PM | Comments (1)March 13, 2006
Insert Awkward Pause Here
Looking back, I've noticed that my social life--at least as far as boys are concerned--tends to go in cycles.
-- First, the long dry spell. At the beginning, it appears as though there is simply a lull in my dating life. Then, as the days turn to weeks, and then months, I begin to wonder if a person can forget how to kiss.
-- Suddenly, I'm surrounded by eligible men--all dying to get a piece of Ms. Write Again Soon. This is usually preceded by a severe round of internet dating--where hapless gentlemen are set up to view me on a pedestal.
-- Several months go by, in which I frantically struggle to keep everyone's name straight, faultering with details like where they live, how many pets they have, and--even once--whether I've even talked to them before. One by one, I go on dates with these fine young men, most of whom never make it to a second date.
-- And then, once again, the dry spell begins.
Of course, it's not always that predictable. For instance, tonight I had a phone conversation with the Most Awkward Man Ever (MAME). My conversation with MAME (lasting 17:04 minutes) went something like this:
MAME: Ms. Write Again Soon?
Me: Yes?
MAME: This is MAME.
Me: Oh hi! I'm so glad you called. I was wondering if I should call you tonight, but then I thought it might be too late.
(Awkward pause.)
Me: So, what have you been up to today?
MAME: Well, I've been working.
(Awkward pause.)
Me: That's right, you had mentioned you just got back from New York. What were you doing up there?
MAME: I was visiting my grandparents--my grandfather went into the hospital late last week.
(Awkward pause.)
Me: Oh, that's too bad. Is everything ok now?
MAME: Yes, he's doing better.
(Awkward pause.)
I'll spare you the rest of the conversation, since you can probably get the idea. When I managed mid-conversation to look up his online profile, the word "ENGINEER" screamed at me. Apparently, social discourse is not one of his specialties. We left it with "give me a call sometime" to which I responded "sure thing". And then, there was the ubiquitous awkward pause.
Sigh.
On the other hand, it appears I have a date with Mr. Border Collie (BC) tomorrow night. And then another date with Mr. Cool on Saturday. I believe the dry spell is broken.
Posted by madchen at 11:00 PM | Comments (1)Girls Night
A girls night had been in the works for nearly two months. Dates were bantered back and forth, the question of whether to invite boys was debated, location and activities were pondered.
And then...silence.
Being the anal retentive person that I am, I had marked the finally-decided girls night in my calendar. Thus, when I turned down my FIRST DATE IN 2006 because of this prearranged night, I was hoping that it would be worth it. I quickly emailed the organizer to see what the final plans were going to be. With three days left, certainly something was in the works. But alas...
The organizer found herself too busy, and bowed out.
The usual host of the sleep-over location decided she would rather play golf and eat out with friends.
The guy who originally complained that we never invited him to girls night discovered he had made other plans.
So it turned out to be me, Ms. Signe, and Mr. A Prize in Every Box. Who-hoo! Instead of our typical girls night fare (Mexican food at Alero, followed by movies/pool, followed by a visit to the martini bar, followed by stumbling back to someone's apartment to crash), we instead enjoyed Chinese food, Pride and Prejudice, and a good gossip about those not in attendance (such as which P&P character each of our friends could play in real life)--the troika of girls night fun.
What really saved the evening (at least in terms of being measured against a DATE WITH A REAL BOY) was the discovery of TLS's Little People, Big World. Man, that show is addictive.
Posted by madchen at 05:14 PM | Comments (3)March 11, 2006
Taste Test
Do Not Eat The Chicken.
I should have known when my mom so casually asked me to "smell the chicken". To me, chicken always has a slight whiff of funk so I'm probably not the best person to offer an opinion about whether a particular piece of raw meat has peaked.
I REALLY should have known when the chicken took so long to cook that three TV dinners were popped in the microwave and consumed by the other family members, leaving only me to carve a few slices of the finally-finished chicken onto my bowl of salad.
For a couple hours, all seemed right with the world. I had escaped the clasp of my desk for a few hours this afternoon to partake of a grassy knoll, where I lolled about listening to my iPod, dreamily reflecting on the clouds swirling overhead, and reading a book. Later in the day, Janie and I had gone for a bike ride, alternating between carefree--yet heartstopping--dashes into crosswalks and abrupt cease-pedals when a wandering goose got too close. Sitting down to a light meal of salad and chicken seemed like a gentle way to cap off the night.
I should have known.
Posted by madchen at 01:27 AM | Comments (0)March 09, 2006
Le Sigh.
Here's my dilemma. After two full months of gym neglect and boredom-eating (not to mention imbibing dozens of "stay-warm lattes" in Europe), I have gained a couple pounds. And frankly, sitting in front of my computer working on the Big Idea for 9 hours a day isn't exactly giving me a rock-hard body.
I have been meaning to get back in the gym routine after the Europe trip, but I kept putting it off. First I was babysitting the very-sick Janie, then I caught her virus and was a snotty mess. Then I was up in NYC for a couple days, and rather taking advantage of that pedestrian-friendly city I instead managed to have some very fine meals.
Well, now my slacking has turned around and confronted me head on, with a very unfortunate incident this morning when I stepped on the scale without any emotional preparation. SOMETHING MUST BE DONE.
I managed to squeak in 2 hours at the gym after the "very unfortunate scale incident", but so far, I haven't morphed into the supermodel I was hoping for. Instead, I'm back at the computer, having put in 8.75 hours on the Big Idea while simultaneously resisting the urge to either a) crawl into bed and take a nap, or b) eat everything in the refrigerator.
Posted by madchen at 09:02 PM | Comments (0)Upon returning to civilization...
Today was my first day back in Bethesda after my trip to see Ms. NYC Rouge. I managed to unpack, put away laundry (that had been sitting out since before I left), edit a strategy paper aimed at making the United States energy independent, set up a date with a boy for next weekend, catch up on my email, download the photos I took in NY, and begin a new Big Idea proposal. And now, at just 10 minutes after midnight, I feel quite justified in setting everything aside and picking up a book.
And yet, I find myself missing the simple joys of Brooklyn. For example, I bet that Ms. Rouge is surrounded by funny women right now, while I find myself pajama-clad with two cats wandering around my lap. And even though my bed looks rather inviting (especially with the clean sheets I managed to procure from the dryer), I'm sad not to be within arms reach of Ms. Rouge's cable television offerings. Oh, so very sad. How will I cope without my daily dose of The Daily Show?
On the other hand, being back home is nice in ways that I forgot--such as the supply of exotic tea I had neglected in the corner cabinet. Yum, Numi Rainforest Green Mate Lemon Myrtle Green Tea. And how could I fail to recognize the joys of flannel pajama bottoms, complete with unseasonal reindeer? Especially when those pajamas are donned immediately after a morning shower, because there is no reason to leave the house in proper attire?
So I guess it's a toss-up. But certainly, I will be revisiting Ms. Rouge sooner rather than later. After all, I am her best lesbian good luck charm, and I might need to polish up my souffle skills with another round of baking.
Posted by madchen at 12:09 AM | Comments (2)March 08, 2006
#30 -- Bake a Souffle
Looking over my list, I should have guessed that "Bake a Souffle" would be the first item to be completed. After all, it's not like I'm going to run off to Victoria Falls (#1), or make a dash to the humane society for a dog (#22) anytime soon.
Nonetheless, I felt quite accomplished. Sure, the cheese souffle wasn't quite as puffy and round and perfect as it might have been, but under Ms. NYC Rouge's watchful eye, I thought it turned out pretty well. We ate it with a simple mesclun salad mix while enjoying Jon Stewart and the Oscars. Simply divine.
Posted by madchen at 06:04 PM | Comments (0)March 05, 2006
Girls in New York
I'm in Brooklyn, visiting Ms. NYC Rouge (every time, I want to type Rogue) for the weekend. While there are many intriguing options in NYC, we've decided to focus on just one: the lesbians.
Ms. Rouge is the self-appointed social organizer of the Park Slope Lesbian Social Club. As the group's cruise director, she has not only surrounded herself with a fun group of lady friends, but has also discovered that life in NYC is not as hard as it was last year. And since I'm in town and always up for a new scene, I've been tagging along.
Shortly after arriving last night, we trotted off to Bar Sepia, and charming little bar with fun music, good drinks, and about a dozen Social Club women. We had a fun time, chatting about life in New York, and I managed to leave without buying myself a single drink! From there we went to the Brooklyn Museum of Art, where they were having a First Saturday with free admission, live music (Brazillian Samba), and 18th Dynasty Egyptian Art. Frankly, the music was less than thrilling, but the art was fantastic (I wanted to bring one of my much-loved Amelia Peabody audiobooks and listen to the story as I walked through the section on Amarna).
Although the night was still relatively young, poor Ms. Rouge and I betook ourselves home for a full night of sleep in preparation for today's activities: lesbian brunch at Beast (home of the "best breakfast ever"), a stop by Whole Foods, and a brisk walk in the chilly, but glorious, afternoon sun.
Our trip to Whole Foods comes as my determination to fulfill one of my 50 Things has hit a snag. For despite the plethora of good-looking, fun, and funny women I met last night, #10 remains incomplete. So instead, I will be making a souffle tonight, under Ms. Rouge's watchful eye. Because not only is she an excellent lesbian, she is also quite the souffle expert.
Posted by madchen at 04:22 PM | Comments (2)March 02, 2006
Swenglish
So I'm trying to figure out this new alumni webpage for my Swedish degree. I think I've entered in the right information so far, but now I'm stuck on the following paragraph:
Om du vill kan du anmäla andra medlemmar som kontakter. Genom att anmäla andra medlemmar som kontakter så får du ett meddelande när någon av dina kontakter uppdaterar sina uppgifter. När du är klar klickar du på Nästa för att avsluta guiden.
I've tried a couple Swedish-to-English web translators (there aren't so many out there--go figure), and here are my options:
-- If you want to can you to report other members as contacts. Through reporting other members as contacts so sheep you a message when some of your contacts updates their information. When you are clear clicks you on next in order to complete the guide.
-- If you will tin you report second members as contacting. Per that report second members as contacting so sheep yous one message when any of dina contacting am dedicating sina duties. When yous is clear click yous on Next for that conclude guide.
Ideas? Something about a sheep, and "sina" duties...I guess.
Oh dear, I think I may just have emailed the whole alumni network...or else deleted myself from the registration. It's hard to tell. Now I'm wishing I knew more than hello and goodbye.
Posted by madchen at 12:08 AM | Comments (2)March 01, 2006
Ugh - Fundraising
Today I embarked on the frustrating, embarrassing, and ultimately (well, hopefully not) fruitless task of fundraising. One of the Big Idea projects I'm working on (with a partner company) is the establishment of an industry think tank. While this is not a huge profit-making endeavor, I do believe it's important and will add credibility to my other activities.
But, oh, how I hate asking for money.
With any luck, I'll win enough at girls' poker night to make up for any rejections waiting in my inbox upon my return.
Posted by madchen at 06:23 PM | Comments (0)Books I Read After Catching the Sick Child's Virus
With Child
by Laurie R. King
From Publishers Weekly: The third absorbing Kate Martinelli story (after the Edgar-winning A Grave Talent and its follow-up, To Play the Fool) leads the Bay Area cop into the Pacific Northwest, where a serial killer is on the loose. Kate's female lover Lee, severely disabled in an earlier tale, leaves to spend some time on an island off the Washington coast. At the same time, Kate's partner, Al, is wooing a woman whose precocious 12-year-old daughter, Jules, asks Kate to help her find a now-missing homeless boy whom she has met in a park. While struggling with little success to cope with Lee's absence, Kate finds Jules's friend but in the process gets hit on the head hard enough to have to take medical leave from the department?until her sporadic, debilitating headaches cease. When Al and Jules's mother go on their honeymoon right before Christmas, Jules stays with Kate; on a trip north, Jules disappears from the motel near Portland. The desperate search for the girl, who fits the profile of the killer's other victims, creates excruciating anguish for Kate, particularly after she is sent back to California. There, she breaks some rules to find out whether Jules was taken by the killer or by someone who knew her personally. Although readers may connect pieces of the puzzle sooner than Kate, the pleasure of her company and the accelerating suspense preceding the climax make for a compelling read.
My Review: Lest I begin to sound like a broken record, let me just say, entertaining but not great.
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Night Work
by Laurie R. King
From Publishers Weekly: The multitalented King (O Jerusalem, etc.) has not published a Kate Martinelli novel since 1996's With Child, so fans aplenty have been waiting for the next installment in this acclaimed series. San Francisco police detective Kate and her partner, Al Hawken, first introduced in the Edgar-winning A Grave Talent, have been called in to investigate the murder of a man who turns out to have a long record of beating up his wife. The wife, who took refuge at a battered women's shelter, has a rock-solid alibi and there are no other obvious suspects. Meanwhile, a group of feminist vigilantes called the Ladies of Perpetual Disgruntlement has been exacting wickedly funny acts of minor revenge against men who physically abuse women. Kate has a sneaking sympathy for the work of the Ladies, but when more bodies of abusive men start turning up, it looks as though someone--some woman--in San Francisco has taken the ultimate step in vengeance. King brings her theme of women's rage against abusive men together with a focus on goddess worship, especially in Indian religions. Kali, the Hindu goddess of destruction and creation, figures largely in this dense and suspenseful tale. As in her powerful thriller A Darker Place, King's ability to turn esoteric religious concepts into key narrative points makes this a highly unusual--and memorable--novel. It suffers a bit from talkiness, but even so, it's a compelling, effective piece of writing.
My Review: Without the Nyquil, I would have had a harder time getting through this book. Although I like the main characters, I think the whole modern-day detective story is getting a little tired. Perhaps I should try and space them out so I'm not averaging one a day...
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The Year of Magical Thinking
by Joan Didion
From Publishers Weekly: Starred Review. Many will greet this taut, clear-eyed memoir of grief as a long-awaited return to the terrain of Didion's venerated, increasingly rare personal essays. The author of Slouching Towards Bethlehem and 11 other works chronicles the year following the death of her husband, fellow writer John Gregory Dunne, from a massive heart attack on December 30, 2003, while the couple's only daughter, Quintana, lay unconscious in a nearby hospital suffering from pneumonia and septic shock. Dunne and Didion had lived and worked side by side for nearly 40 years, and Dunne's death propelled Didion into a state she calls "magical thinking." "We might expect that we will be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss," she writes. "We do not expect to be literally crazy, cool customers who believe that their husband is about to return and need his shoes." Didion's mourning follows a traditional arc—she describes just how precisely it cleaves to the medical descriptions of grief—but her elegant rendition of its stages leads to hard-won insight, particularly into the aftereffects of marriage. "Marriage is not only time: it is also, paradoxically, the denial of time. For forty years I saw myself through John's eyes. I did not age." In a sense, all of Didion's fiction, with its themes of loss and bereavement, served as preparation for the writing of this memoir, and there is occasionally a curious hint of repetition, despite the immediacy and intimacy of the subject matter. Still, this is an indispensable addition to Didion's body of work and a lyrical, disciplined entry in the annals of mourning literature.
My Review: I listened to this on audiobook, and had a hard time not bursting into tears every 10 minutes. I found that as long as I stayed focused on the story itself, I was ok. But as soon as I started thinking about losing one of my own family members, oh the tears. This was supposed to be a bookclub selection, but our meeting was cancelled. Looking back on it, I'm glad we didn't have to discuss it, since it would be embarrassing to bawl in front of my girlfriends.
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Love in a Dead Language
by Lee Siegel
From Publishers Weekly: "General observations, copulation, seduction, marriage, adultery, prostitutes, and erotic arcana," the seven subjects treated by the Kamasutra, are also the motifs of Siegel's whimsical farce. Presented as the unscholarly annotated version of the Indian erotic lexicon as translated by deceased professor of Asian studies Leopold Roth, the novel interpolates the commentary of Roth's skeptical literary executor and former student, Anang Saigha, with notes from ancient translators of the text. Roth's Kamasutra bears little resemblance to the original Sanskrit. It is, in fact, a hymn to entirely uninterested college senior Lalita Gupta, whom Roth construes as the vessel for all his romantic, Eastern fantasies. Ditsy, foul-mouthed Lalita cares nothing about her parents' native land, but to Roth she is a goddess, repository of the East's erotic and spiritual wisdom. Half-mad with love, Roth carries Lalita off to India for a "summer study course" (she's the only pupil) and seduces her in a hotel at Khajuraho where a famed erotic sculpture stands. Upon their return to L.A., Roth is suspended from teaching, Lalita's parents charge him with rape, and his wife, SophiaAwomen's studies prof and chair of the sexual harassment committeeAdumps him. While inserts and footnotes heighten the absurdity (the book is dense with cartoons, Hollywood memorabilia, news clips and 19th-century travelogues), Siegel's criticisms of orientalization and exoticism are serious. And Roth has more than just Lalita on his mind: his daughter Leila was murdered at the age of 12, leaving Roth, his wife and Leila's twin bereft. This multifaceted novel is also a whodunit, for Professor Roth died no natural death. His body was found in his office, hit from behind with a Sanskrit-English dictionary. While this ribald romp, satire on Westerners' spiritual hunger and sendup of academia may prove too rarefied and serpentine for some tastes, others will find it a sophisticated treat.
My Review: I picked up this book at a second-hand shop in Berlin and gradually worked my way through it. Let me say that everything written about it is true: it's raunchy, extremetly explicit, academic, erudite, and monotonous. I confess that I actually skimmed the last several chapters...after all, how much Kama Sutra can one sick girl take?
Posted by madchen at 12:02 AM | Comments (0)
