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December 27, 2005
Theme Music
I was flipping though the TV channels this evening when I happened to come across professional wrestling--WWE on USA, to be exact. I'm not a huge fan, but looking back I have to admit that I've seen my fair share of it over the years.
It all began with Rock 'n Wrestling, a mid-80s Saturday-morning cartoon series featuring the stars of the World Wrestling Federation. Living in Guam, I guess there wasn't much to watch, because I remember at least three distinct episodes, including one where a character decides to go on a diet and seeks advice from Andre the Giant.
My involvement with professional wrestling then took a hiatus until grad school (which, given my previous enjoyment of Rock 'n Wrestling, was no sure thing). A fellow classmate was completely enamoured of the sport, and could give a better play-by-play of the fights than the actual announcer. He was so entertaining that the entire grad school department came over to his place when he hosted a pay-per-view Wrestlemania party in 2000. I can't remember who won, but I believe the fight included some shenanigans with a ladder.
Since then, I haven't really watched wrestling, other than thoroughly enjoying the commercials that advertised the WWE was moving networks to USA. Nonetheless, occasionally it crosses my mind (especially when I've been watching a lot of television).
What I find especially intriguing is the idea of ring music. If you're not a die-hard fan of wrestling, let me explain (or rather, have Wikipedia explain):
Music in professional wrestling serves a variety of purposes.
The most common uses of music is that of the entrance theme, a song or piece of instrumental music which plays as a performer approaches the ring. After a match, the entrance theme of the victor will normally be played as they exit the ring. Entrance themes are used to alert the audience to the immediate arrival of a wrestler, and to increase anticipation.
Entrance themes are often tailored to the character of the wrestler they are written or selected for. For example, Jacob and Eli Blu (The Blu Brothers) had an entrance theme which resembled a piece of Blues music. The Undertaker has often used entrance themes which resemble a dirge. In practise, modern day entrance themes are normally rock or rap music, as these genres of music are popular with the professional wrestling key demographics.
The Wikipedia entry (you have to wonder what noble citizens compiled this information) goes on to list, in alphabetical order, entrance themes according to the wrestler who uses them.
So now I'm thinking, how great would it be if the world were set up so that each person had an entrance theme that played a split second before they walked into a room? It would instantly announce your arrival, and signal the victor at the end of every conversation, debate, and confrontation. Imagine it:
You're sitting in a staff meeting, waiting for everyone to show. Suddenly, the lights flash and Martha Wainwright's "Stupid Bloody Motherf***ing Asshole" comes over the loudspeaker. You immediately know to stop talking about your boss, even before she arrives in the doorway a second later.
Or...
You are having a fight with your boyfriend. It's one of those disagreements that is unlikely to be resolved, because both of you believe you're in the right. Are you doomed to hash out the same tired arguments time and time again, because no clear winner can be established? Not with theme music! Saving yourself a lot of time and effort, it's immediately clear who won this fight, and you can move on to new issues--and you don't even need to break a chair over his head.
Of course, this brings up a very important question: what would my theme music be? I've been pondering it for several hours and I can't quite come up with the perfect song. Sort of like my alias: I've been working on it for years, trying out fake names on restaurant waiting lists and signing up for mailing lists with nom de plumes. I can't decide, however, because once you've decided on an alias (or theme music), you're sort of committed. You know?
Comments
Excellent! Now I have a great point to ponder during the longest week of my life.
Posted by: La at December 27, 2005 07:29 AM
My first instinct, upon scanning the iPod, is to go with "Breakfast After 10" by Blue October. :)
Posted by: Mr. Bad Apologies at December 27, 2005 01:56 PM
