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November 30, 2005
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November 29, 2005
Things You Should Know
#1 - If you google "I hate my thesis", Write Again Soon is the 3rd result.
This fact is ironic, since tonight I began filling out the application for a Ph.D. program--and already I hate it. First of all, I have no idea how many credit hours I fulfilled at each of the three fine institutions from which I graduated--let alone the exact dates of my attendence, my GRE scores (and the date I took the exam), and the myriad other stupid details they want to know before even looking at my resume. Why can't they just set up an interview, marvel at my brilliance in a one-on-one setting, and be done with it?
#2 - If you decide to double-knot the drawstring on your pants, give yourself a little extra time to get to the bathroom.
Under no cirumstances should you drink 64 ounces of water and then wait until the 2nd commerical break after you start to feel a little bladder pressure. Enough said, I believe.
#3 - Shopping with a friend is exponentially more fun than shopping alone.
And somehow, it makes you feel better about buying enough shoes to feed a small army. If that army ate shoes, I mean.
Posted by madchen at 11:46 PM | Comments (3)November 27, 2005
Photogenic
November 26, 2005
Books I Read Recently (and some that I just forgot about)
Portuguese Irregular Verbs
by Alexander Mccall Smith
From Audiofile: The author of the highly successful NO. 1 LADIES' DETECTIVE AGENCY offers another treasure in this gentle satire of academics. This first book of a trilogy chronicles the activities of Dr. Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld, professor of philology and author of PORTUGUESE IRREGULAR VERBS, a scholarly tome of 1200 pages, only 200 copies of which have been sold and even fewer of which (if any) have been read. (Von Igelfeld's female dentist uses her copy as the perfect step stool for reaching patients.) Paul Hecht's deep baritone gives the necessary pseudo-scholarly tone to academicians measuring out their lives in Dravidian verb shifts, Urdu subjunctives, and Early Irish obscenities. Hecht takes the seemingly pointless minutiae of archaic grammars and transforms them into moments of quiet mirth, always investing the bumbling von Igelfeld with endearing goodness.
My review: Well, its true that the narrator of this audiobook has a deep baritone, but at that point my opinion diverges from the review above. Actually, my gripe is with the author itself. As with my previous review of The Sunday Philosophy Club, I think the author has mistakenly assumed that--just because The #1 Ladies Detective Agency was a great success--books don't really need plot. Where I love the details of Precious Ramotswe's life, I found that a book filled with nothing but the details of Dr. Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld was the best way to get a full night of restful sleep.
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Guardian of the Horizon
by Elizabeth Peters
From Amazon: Amelia Peabody and her husband Emerson, along with their son Ramses and foster daughter Nefret, are summoned back to the Lost Oasis, a hidden stronghold in the western desert whose existence they discovered many years ago (in The Last Camel Died At Noon) and have kept secret from the entire world, including their fellow Egyptologists. According to Merasen, the brother of the ruling monarch, their old friend Prince Tarek is in grave danger and needs their help, however it's not until they retrace their steps back to the Oasis, with its strange mixture of Meroitic and Egyptian cultures, that they learn the real reason for their journey. There's no better company on an archaeological expedition than the Father of Curses and the Lady Doctor, their beautiful Anglo-Egyptian ward, and Ramses, the Demon Brother who loves her, as Peters once again demonstrates in the latest historical mystery in this immensely popular series. If you haven't met the indomitable Amelia yet, this intriguing tale is a great place to start!
My review: I believe I have established my undying love of Amelia Peabody, and this--her 16th adventure--was also delightful. Not exactly intelligence-enhancing literature, and, to tell the truth, the plots never make any sense--but I love it nonetheless.
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The Master Butchers Singing Club : A Novel
by Louise Erdrich
From Amazon: Louise Erdrich's The Master Butchers Singing Club is a powerfully told story of love, death, redemption, and resurrection. After German soldier Fidelis Waldvogel returns home from World War I to marry his best friend's pregnant widow, he packs up his father's butcher knives and sets sail for America. He settles in Argus, North Dakota, where he sets up a meat shop with his wife Eva, who quickly befriends the struggling yet resourceful Delphine Watzka. Delphine, who runs a vaudeville show with her balancing partner Cyprian Lazarre, has returned home to Argus to care for her alcoholic father. While most of this emotionally rich novel focuses on the changing landscape of small-town life as seen through Delphine and Fidelis's eyes, Erdrich does a masterful job of illuminating hidden dramas through her secondary characters. Erdrich's portrayal of these various townsfolk, including members of the Master Butchers Singing Club, truly shows off her storytelling talent. Her ability to infuse each character with a distinct and multifaceted personality makes this novel an intimate and thought-provoking adventure.
My review: This was one of my favorite book club selections of all time (AA always picks good ones!!). I was hooked by page 8, and couldn't put it down until I reached the last page. I love how Erdrich is able to blend incredible plot details with character development--just as good as The Last Report on the Miracles at Little No Horse.
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Brick Lane : A Novel
by Monica Ali
From Amazon: Wildly embraced by critics, readers, and contest judges (who put it on the short-list for the 2003 Man Booker Prize), Brick Lane is indeed a rare find: a book that lives up to its hype. Monica Ali's debut novel chronicles the life of Nazneen, a Bangladeshi girl so sickly at birth that the midwife at first declares her stillborn. At 18 her parents arrange a marriage to Chanu, a Bengali immigrant living in England. Although Chanu--who's twice Nazneen's age--turns out to be a foolish blowhard who "had a face like a frog," Nazneen accepts her fate, which seems to be the main life lesson taught by the women in her family. "If God wanted us to ask questions," her mother tells her, "he would have made us men." Over the next decade-and-a-half Nazneen grows into a strong, confident woman who doesn't defy fate so much as bend it to her will. The great delight to be had in Brick Lane lies with Ali's characters, from Chanu the kindly fool to Mrs. Islam the elderly loan shark to Karim the political rabblerouser, all living in a hothouse of Bengali immigrants. Brick Lane combines the wide scope of a social novel about the struggles of Islamic immigrants in pre- and post-9/11 England with the intimate story of Nazneen, one of the more memorable heroines to come along in a long time. If Dickens or Trollope were loosed upon contemporary London, this is exactly the sort of novel they would cook up.
My review: I have no idea why this book would be "wildly embraced" by anyone. I thought the language was stilted, the characters underdeveloped, and the story poorly paced. If anything, this book cemented my previous experience of "high-quality" British literature--it's just not my cuppa tea.
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The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green
by Joshua Braff
From Booklist: Like a child, Jacob Green's father, Abram, wants what he wants when he wants it and will throw a temper tantrum if he doesn't get it. What Abram wants most of all is the perfect suburban Jewish family--perfectly intelligent, perfectly religious, and perfect at obeying thy father. Braff's rich, moving, and very funny first novel begins with a 1977 housewarming party at which Abram dramatically introduces each member of his family while the four children and their mother seethe with resentment at being paraded as testaments to Abram's greatness. Jacob's present-tense, first-person narration keeps the pace quick, and the exquisite plotting ensures that Jacob's growing emotional turmoil is paralleled by metaphorically resonant real-life events. To survive and mentally escape his father's cruel, perverse love, young Jacob shares hilariously unthinkable thoughts--the funniest are the hypothetical bar mitzvah thank-you notes in which Jacob thanks people for Jerusalem stone bookends and the like and then details his lust for his live-in nanny before signing "Love, Jacob." Readers will adore Jacob, but Braff's greater accomplishment is describing the boy's complex relationship with his father so well that we are forced to see the cruel, self-obsessed Abram as something more than a mere monster of ego.
My review: I read this book in practically a single sitting. It was infectious. I laughed (out loud, much to the consternation of my DCL friends), I cried, I was moved. Bravo to the very talented Braff family.
Posted by madchen at 12:39 AM | Comments (0)Books I Started and Then Abandoned (with no guilt)
Housekeeping : A Novel
by Marilynne Robinson
From Publishers Weekly: Their lives spun off the tilting world like thread off a spindle," says Ruthie, the novel's narrator. The same may be said of Becket Royce's subtle, low-keyed reading. The interwoven themes of loss and love, longing and loneliness—"the wanting never subsided"—require a cool, almost impersonal touch. Royce narrates natural and manmade catastrophe and ruin as the author offers them: with a sort of watery vagueness engulfing extraordinary events. Occasionally this leads Royce to sound sleepy or to glide over humor. But she expresses Ruthie's story without any irksome effort to sound childlike, and she avoids the pitfall of dramatizing other characters, such as the awkward sheriff, the whispery insubstantiality of Aunt Sylvie or the ladies bearing casseroles to lure Ruthie away from Aunt Sylvie and into their concept of normality. Originally published in 1980 and filmed in 1987, Housekeeping is finally on audio because of Robinson's new Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, Gilead. The novel holds up remarkably and painfully well, and the language remains searching and sonorous. Anatole Broyard wrote back then: "Here is a first novel that sounds as if the author has been treasuring it up all her life...." And because the author's rhythms, images and diction are so original and dense, this audio is a treasure for listeners who have or haven't read the book.
My Review: Yawn. While some of the language is exquisite, NOTHING happens. After trying to read this book for three months, I've finally put it aside with no regrets.
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The Kite Rider
by Geraldine McCaughrean
From Publishers Weekly: With her exuberant, nonstop plotting and supremely colorful setting, McCaughrean (The Stones Are Hatching) grabs hold of readers' imaginations and doesn't let go. In 13th-century China, a 12-year-old boy prepares to say goodbye to his father, who is about to put to sea as a crew member of the Chabi, and to watch the testing of the wind, which involves strapping a man to a huge kite and seeing if it flies straight up (a good omen for the Chabi's voyage) or at a certain angle (foretelling danger). But almost before Haoyou knows what is happening, the first mate makes his father the wind-tester, and Haoyou looks on in horror as his father becomes a speck in the distant sky, then returns, lifeless, to earth. All this McCaughrean accomplishes in less than 10 pages, establishing a breakneck pace, which she maintains with seeming ease. The story takes Haoyou from his determined efforts to prevent the evil first mate from marrying his beautiful mother to his joining a traveling circus as a kite rider, mastering his father's tragedy as he himself flies skyward into what the circus-goers take to be the spirit world. Eventually the circus reaches the court of the Kublai Khan, evoked here in splendor and awe. While Haoyou never becomes as compelling a character as those around him a spirit medium cousin, the circus master, Kublai Khan McCaughrean offers more than enough adventure, plot twists and exotic scenery to keep the audience fully engrossed.
My review: Unlike the book reviewed above, in The Kite Rider stuff happens. I jus didn't care. Kill the father! Burn down the house! Marry an abusive man! Whatever, just make it end!!
Posted by madchen at 12:12 AM | Comments (0)November 25, 2005
Thanksgiving
Every year around this time I get to thinking about my life. Am I happy? What do I hope for next year? Why can I never seem to stay on top of the laundry situation?
This year is no exception, and as I look forward to the Christmas holidays (which currently are only on paper, since I have no plans to indicate the next month will be any different from the preceding eleven) I am starting to feel rather uncomfortable. The sad truth is that I have no exciting plans--at least none that I'm really passionate about. Sure, there are potentially exciting plans, including:
1. Applying to a Ph.D. program (deadline January 1).
2. Volunteering for a 6 or 12 month program in Africa (deadline January 1).
3. Visiting friends in Europe this winter (deadline February 1).
4. Finding a meaningful and well-paid permanent job (current contract ends December 16).
By all accounts, I should be delighted with the possibilities. But right now I'm sort of mopey. To quote The Teacher, "Meaningless, meaningless. Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless." I don't mean that in a depressed sort of way, just in a "can't get up the enthusiasm since one plan seems just as likely to bring happiness as the next" sort of way.
Perhaps this needs more thought.
Posted by madchen at 02:34 PM | Comments (3)November 21, 2005
Ideal Thanksgiving -- WEbring #16
From Ms. NYC Rouge: Thanksgiving is coming up. What will you be doing? Traveling? What would be your ideal Thanksgiving?
First of all, at least Ms. NYC Rouge admits that this topic is as lame as they come. Second of all, I'm sad to say that I have no exciting Thanksgiving plans to spice up this entry. I'll be sitting at home with the family (we haven't even invited anyone else to join us), eating turkey, and trying not to irritate Janie to the point of a nuclear meltdown.
On the other hand, I'm re-entering the world of party-throwing with trepidation. I've invited all my local friends to my place on Saturday for a quiet evening in front of the fire. It's VERY last minute, and so far the only three people to respond have said no--so perhaps I should quietly exit the party-throwing arena in favor of the "bitch about why we never do anything fun" approach.
Posted by madchen at 05:16 PM | Comments (0)November 20, 2005
The Six Stages of Grief
So after last week's email from NB, I spent the succeeding 6 days grieving the loss of my latest relationship. In fact, NB (New Boy) will now be referred to as OB (Old Boy). Or better yet, SOB (Stupid Old Boy, among other fitting descriptors).
Actually the sudden revelation that I would no longer be getting any action wasn't so bad, and I went through the first 5 stages of grief within 2 hours:
The first stage is denial.
This email was not a "break-up" email, but merely NB expressing frustration over his recently busy schedule. I am actually glad that he has the initiative and courage to bring up these potentially problematic issues in our relationship so that we can deal with them in a healthy way and move forward.
Next comes anger or resentment.
How DARE he deliver this message BY EMAIL? I will find him and make him suffer calamities he will forevermore reference with cowering and open weeping.
The third stage is bargaining.
Actually, maybe he has a point. Maybe it's time that I changed my priorities in life. I could be the type of girlfriend he wants. I could be happy as a waifish, little prat. Yes, I'll write him back and explain how I can--really--be the girl of his dreams.
The fourth stage is depression.
Oh screw it. I'm going to be alone forever. My sister--who has already claimed the "best daughter" title by procreating--is going to beat me in the marriage race too. I should just accept that I am a hideous monster to whom no man will ever want to commit.
Finally comes acceptance.
Hmm, I guess it's over. The important thing is that, NO MATTER WHAT, I act in a way that will make me proud in 10 years. Dignity is my watchword.
With that emotional rollercoaster behind me, I embarked on the 6th--and arguably most important--stage of grieving:
RETAIL THERAPY
Ignore The Guardian, and The Sydney Morning Herald--who will tell you that retail therapy causes as many problems as it solves. When it comes to relationship fizzles, nothing beats a trip (or seven) to the mall. I believe I have documented such experiences in detail (in fact, in my first ever blog entry).
Although there has been little scientific analysis of the retail therapy phenomenon (other than to link it to obesity, bastards), I figure there are two general options:
1) The number of trips to a retail establishment are what counts (or, in fancy "scientific terms", positively correlated with improved spirts).
2) The amount of money spent (regardless of number of trips) is what counts.
There are probably an infinite number of variations on these two options (maybe it's the number of things you buy--regardless of how much they cost), or the number of "shopping" trips taken (i.e. one trip to Target counts the same as a trip to the mall with visits to 13 stores). My point is this:
No matter how you measure it, I should now by the happiest woman on the planet.
And it's lucky that NB--I mean SOB--is nowhere to be seen. Of the five new pairs of shoes I own, at least four of them would put me several inches over his head.
(Oops, temporarily reverting back to Stage 2.)
Posted by madchen at 11:12 PM | Comments (3)November 16, 2005
Thoughts?
Sorry I've been so out of touch lately with everything that has been taking place...I need to be honest and say that I'm not so sure we are compatible for a relationship. A couple of days ago you were talking about job opportunities in other states which I can understand. The distance between us is difficult enough as it is. I just think we are at two different stages in our lives with different future goals. I'm not too good at talking about this kind of stuff but I do need to be honest with you and tell you what my thoughts are.
I'm going shoe shopping.
Posted by madchen at 11:48 AM | Comments (6)November 14, 2005
When In Doubt, Diversify
My annoyance with NB's flakiness (well, it's really my annoyance with myself over my reaction to NB's flakiness) has pushed me to follow my friend's sage advice on dating: "When in doubt, diversify."
The official call has been put out: I need more men in my life--attractive, financially-sound men, who are willing to keep me in a manner to which I plan to become accustomed.
But until my phone starts ringing off the hook, I have diversified in other ways. Yes, dear reader, I have filled my hours with any and every possible distraction. If he won't call, then I won't be around to check my voicemail. So there!
At any rate, the diversification plan (DP) is in full swing, and I have to say that I haven't been this social in years. On Friday I went out with Ms. Secret Blog (she's still in the closet) for a girls afternoon of manicures and pedicures, and later crashed the boys night her live-in lover had planned. Lots of fun, although I was sad to have to imbibe a minimal amount of alcohol in preparation for my early morning.
Saturday I spent the morning with Ms. Wish To See, then went to the zoo with Ms. Janie and my parents. It has become abundantly clear to me that my niece is rapidly becoming a brat. If you try really hard (and sort of squint your eyes), you can see the sweet little girl buried deep under the whining, tantrum-throwing, sulking, no-impulse-control little girl. I actually talked to her mom about this later, who agreed that something drastic needs to be done.
Saturday evening I attended the Marine Corps Birthday Ball (ooh-rah) with my dad, where apparently I was the only one to marvel at the irony of a ball devoted to the glories of warfare with the theme "Creating Stability in an Unstable World". The academic in me wondered about a Ph.D. dissertation investigating whether the US military actions over the past 50 years have really contributed to a more stable world. Coming from a military family, and yet violently disagreeing with our nation's current foreign policy, I am quite torn over my conclusions.
Sunday I worked on projects that should have been completed on Friday (but were not condusive to the DP) before meeting friends (Including Mr. Bad Apologies--who promised to write something about our adventure, but given his current track record, I doubt) at the Kennedy Center for Hilary Hahn. The performance was lovely and we got to sit in the choirister, which meant that we were--for all intents and purposes--on stage. Whenever I got bored with the violin, I could just look out over the audience and watch people fall asleep. In fact, one of the highlights of the evening was when some guy (an anonymous man somewhere in the orchestra section), let out a HUGE cry of alarm, presumably when he jerked awake. Sort of a "GEE" sound. From my position on stage, I could see all the kids's heads fly around to look at the culprit.
After getting home and frantically working to complete the aforementioned work-that-should-have-been-completed-Friday, I plopped into bed. Somehow, I find myself up at a normal hour--and am even quite productive. Here it is, not even 10 a.m. and I've already cleared out my email inbox, applied to 4 jobs (my current contract runs out mid-December and my heavy drinking routine won't pay for itself), and am now...
ALERT!!! NB JUST CALLED. DOES IT SEEM SUNNIER ALL OF A SUDDEN? CAN YOU HEAR THE BIRDS SINGING??
Where was I? Ahh, bliss. Anyway, now I'm considering my next move. Will it be a shower? Unlikely, since I have plans to go to the gym as soon as I pick up my mom from the doctor's around noon. Will it be a movie? Possibly, since I have The Station Agent, and In America waiting for me in the DVD player (yay for Netflix). Will is be changing out of my pajamas? Let's not get crazy, people.
Posted by madchen at 09:44 AM | Comments (2)November 10, 2005
Grumpy
I'm having a rough day. It's not that anything in particular has gone wrong (in fact, I just returned from a very, very successful shopping spree at Ann Taylor Loft); it's just one of those days when circumstance has left me feeling disgruntled. Death by a thousand cuts, as it were:
-- I'm feeling neglected by NB, which is especially irksome as it is unclear whether he is suddenly less enamoured of me, or if he is just really busy this week.
-- After two consecutive days at the gym (after a 2 week hiatus with the cough from hell), not only am I not in supermodel shape, but my muscles hurt from yesterday's Body Sculpt class.
-- I find myself in synch with Ms. Rather Be Travelling, and am feeling a little hormonal.
-- Despite cleaning my room yesterday, today I find it to be on the FEMA disaster recovery list. And I have no motivation to clean it again--yet I can't concentrate on work until it's done.
-- I'm cold, feeling ugly (the sudden cold snap has not been kind to my skin), and the cat scratched me when I tried to pick her up for a cuddle.
Basically, I want to crawl under my bare duvet (it's too much effort to put on the clean sheets) and avoid the world for the rest of the afternoon. What I really need is some spontaneous fun. Who has ideas for this evening?
I hope, dear reader, that you appreciate the extra effort I expended to rid this entry of obscenity. It took me twice as long as normal to make it "family friendly" reading.
Posted by madchen at 02:28 PM | Comments (2)November 09, 2005
All I Want For Christmas -- Webring #15
From Mr. Fliven: Everyone share what is on your Christmas list for this year and why, perhaps comparing it with previous holidays, or reminiscing on your favorite gift.
My Christmas list gets shorter every year. I think it's a combination of several factors:
1. Like Ms. Wish To See, my desired items get more expensive every year.
2. Like Ms. NYC Rouge, I'm past the "getting gifts just for gifts' sake".
3. Like Ms. Rather Be Travelling, I'm not settled enough to get the normal household items I'd normally request.
In general, our family has slowly been moving away from the "lots of things" holiday to a more "let's go somewhere fun" holiday, as evidenced by last Christmas's Caribbean cruise. I was sort of hoping we could do something similar, but the usual problems have cropped up. My dad won't commit to taking the time off (because work is more important than family, I guess); my sister isn't sure she wants to go somewhere and leave her significant other behind (or even if she wants to spend her very limited school break running to other countries); and my mom is dithering about location, ideas, and price ranges--apparently unaware that ANYPLACE we choose will be fun, but that the longer we wait, the less likely it is that we will go anywhere.
But all that said, here is my list for Christmas. (Realizing that I am going to get NONE of them, I feel quite free to put extravagent and decadent items in the queue.)
-- World peace (because it should be on everyone's list, and it makes the following items less self-indulgent)
-- A trip to Budapest (which I may give myself in January)
-- An all-day trip to the day spa
-- My own house
-- A puppy
-- A boyfriend, to take care of the puppy
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For other commentary on this topic, see:
I'd Rather Be Traveling
Post No Bills
A Prize in Every Box
Bad Apologies
Wish to See
November 08, 2005
Shamed
Is there anything more embarassing that having your credit card denied? If there is, I haven't found it. (Well, okay that VERY humiliating experience at the grocery store when I didn't have my wallet might rank up there at the top.)
Over the past several weeks, my credit card has been declined several times. The most frustrating part is that I can never tell when it's going to happen.
Trying to buy a $35 iTrip at the Apple Store? NO, MA'AM. But walk down the street and buy $112 of books at Barnes and Noble? Sure thing. Want to buy some shampoo and lipstick for $14 at CVS? DENIED. But go ahead and blow $86 on a pair of theatre tickets, you deserve it!
And trying to explain to the cashier that "this is so strange, I can't figure out what's wrong" only elicits polite--if knowing--smiles and requests for another card.
Posted by madchen at 05:03 PM | Comments (2)November 07, 2005
One of the Family
It's hard to be entertaining while simultaneously coughing up one's left lung, so please bear with me, dear reader. It's been 4 days since my last blog entry, and I have thought "ooh, I should write about this" on numerous occasions; however, now that I'm sitting down at the computer I'm drawing a blank. So rather than try and make a coherent storyline, let me briefly sum up the weekend's activities:
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Apple Cider Butter
On Saturday, I met up with Ms. Wish To See for some apple cider butter making fun. We've previously explored the exciting world of jam, but this was an altogether different experience. First of all, let me just say that EVERYONE should have an apple peeler/corer thingamabob. Not only did it make the preparation of FORTY-EIGHT apples managable, but it was also delightfully remeniscient of a Spanish Inquisition torture device. Good times were had by all, and I came home with 8 jars of beautiful, delicious apple butter.
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NB Meets Family
On Sunday, NB came to lunch. It was quite successful, if I do say so myself. Despite Ms. NYC Rouge's offer of her famous Mexican Chocolate Cake recipe, in the end I went with a Moroccan theme. The group of eight dines on Spaghetti Squash with Morrocan Spices, Moroccan Vegetable Skewers, and Cinnamon Oranges. The best part was that it was vegan and everyone STILL liked it (although there were several--okay MANY--references to my last vegan disaster, Warm Artichoke and Chickpea Salad).
After lunch (in which Janie arranged for the guys to sit at one end of the table--the better to discuss hunting and killing bears, from what I overheard), NB and I went to The Chairs at the Roundhouse Theatre. Here's the summary:
French director Alain Timar restages his acclaimed production of Ionesco’s absurdist play, seen at the 2002 Avignon Festival. His fresh interpretation casts a pair of young actors as an elderly man and woman who organize a reception for a group of imaginary dignitaries. The chairs are assembled, but the guests are invisible! Don’t miss this exciting theatrical event, performed in English and re-imagined for an American audience.
And here are my comments:
- First, thumbs down to the Roundhouse Theatre, who recently changed their Young Adult policy. In years past, anyone under 30 got tickets for $10. Now it's anyone under 25, which means that instead of seeing a quirky, experimental play for $20, NB and I got to see a quirky, experimental play for $86. Grr.
- Second, NB and I were CLEARLY the only people under 60 in the audience, which was full. This was a little disconcerting, since the play had a few overt sexual references, but also meant that it's highly unlikely that changing the Young Adult policy has had a significant impact on their ticket revenue. Double grr.
- Third, the play itself was delightful. It was incredible high energy, making me want to see the traditional staging (in which the two actors are usually older). It was definitely absurd, but I was totally engaged throughout the whole thing. NB thought "it was fine", but I was much more enthusiastic. My favorite part was when the actors try to engage the audience. Everyone was uncertain whether or not to shout back (in a "hip hipn hooray" sort of way) and you could actually feel everyone shift in their seats, feeling sorry for the actors but also unwilling to be the only person to shout into a crowded theatre.
Afterwards, we came back to the house for a bit, and that's where my favorite exchange of the night happened:
(First let me set the stage. NB and I are sitting on the couch in the living room. My dad is in the next room, watching a football game. My mom is in the kitchen. I sidle up next to NB, who is clearly uncomfortable with any physical contact so close to my parents--who could walk in at any time. I put my hand on NB's knee--totally innocently.)
"So what do you want to do now?"
"I don't know. Are you hungry for dinner?"
"Not really. Wanna make out?"
"No. And stop touching me."
I have never seen a guy so uncomfortable. It was highly entertaining.
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Random Miscellany
Well, that's about it for my weekend. Sunday night, NB and I went grocery shopping to avert death-by-famine for my two cats. While at Giant, I was able to implement a new trick, one which I'm very excited about.
First, the backstory. When Ms. Wish To See and I lived together, we shared a Giant Food Card account. She had set it up so that the account was not attached to our phone number. All fine and good (and splendid for our privacy), but that meant that when we forgot our cards, we couldn't just type our phone numbers into the handy keypad to receive the discounts.
Well, it turns out that Ms. Wish To See has been very sneaky for a LONG time. For the past several years, she has been using Ms. NYC Rouge's MOM'S home phone number as the "I forgot my card" access code. She told me of this fact on Saturday during a apple-butter-making trip to the grocery store, and I decided to adopt it as my own.
So Natasha and Madchen can thank Ms. NYC Rouge's family for their supply of reasonably priced, sale-item cat food.
Posted by madchen at 01:58 PM | Comments (2)November 03, 2005
Converation with A 4-Year Old
These days, it's difficult to talk on the phone with Janie. For one thing, I'm just Aunt Jen--not the coveted telephone persona known as Grandma. She calls almost every evening, and when I pick up the phone it goes something like this:
"Hello?"
"Where's GRANDMA?"
"Hi there! She's still at work. What are you doing tonight?"
"Why is she still at work?"
"Well, she hasn't gotten home yet. Did you have a good day at school?"
"When is GRANDMA going to be home?"
Yes, dear reader, it is quite disheartening to know that your sole role in your niece's life is to know where Grandma is at every second of the day, and to pass the phone as quickly as possible in her direction when she is home. So when I *do* manage to capture Ms. Janie's attention for a second, I'm desperate to keep it going as long as possible. This tendency usually results in a quick devolution into insanity.
Take, for instance, last night. She called around 6 and we went through the routine above. Then we spend another 10 minutes discussing EXACTLY what I was doing AT THAT EXACT MINUTE. It went something like this:
"What are you doing now?"
"I'm sitting in the living room talking to you on the phone. What are YOU doing now?"
"I'm in the car. What else are you doing?"
"That's all--just sitting in the living room."
"Tell me EXACTLY."
"Well, I was watching television in the sun room when the telephone rang, so I turned off the TV and picked up the phone. When I knew it was you, I walked into the living room and sat on the edge of the couch, so that I could talk to you. Right now I'm sitting in the living room, with my legs crossed, and I'm tapping my foot, and Natasha is sitting next to me. I think she's mad that I woke her up."
"What ELSE are you doing?"
And so it proceeded. There was discussion of what television show I was watching (a DVD of the 4th season of Alias)--and I'd like to see you all try to explain the premise of Sydney Bristow to a 4-year old who has been taught it is wrong to hit and steal and kiss boys.
I could tell her attention was fading, so I whipped out my trump card.
Janie is obsessed with babies. Aside from her collection of dollies, she also would watch A Baby Story all day if we let her. She constantly wants to pretend one of us is pregnant (I made the mistake of acquiesing just ONCE, and now at awkward moments in public she says things like "don't you think there's a baby in your tummy, Aunt Jen"?) and is fascinated with all the technicalities of birth.
Simultaneously, the New Boy (NB) is coming over for lunch with the family on Sunday--and I want to break Janie in to the idea that she needs to be nice to him. So I proceeded carefully:
"Guess what Janie? NB's sister just had a baby TODAY."
[To her mom, driving in the front seat] "Oh, oh, oh! NB's sister had a baby today!!"
[To me] "Who is NB? Is he your boyfriend?"
"Um....well...."
[Shrieking] "Pee-yew, Aunt Jen has a boyfriend!! Pee-yew!!"
[Insert several seconds of general 4-year-old disgust at the idea of boys before returning to the issue at hand]
"Is NB the daddy?"
"What?"
"You know, the sister is the mommy and NB is the daddy!"
"No, no, no, no, no. His sister is married, so she is the mommy, her husband is the daddy, and NB is the uncle."
"And what are you?"
"Hmm, I'm not really anything to that baby."
"Maybe you could be the watcher when the mommy and the daddy aren't there."
"That's true. Maybe I could be the babysitter."
"And what are Grandma and Granddad for?"
[Realizing this is getting ridiculous, and it likely to freakout NB if it comes up on Sunday, but feeling like I have to continue the logic of this conversation...] "Maybe they could watch the baby if NB and I go out on a date."
"Yeah. So where is GRANDMA?"
And so it went.
Posted by madchen at 10:14 AM | Comments (1)November 01, 2005
Halloween Past -- WEbring #14
Describe how you spent this Halloween. Compare/contrast with previous Halloweens.
Alright, I admit it--this topic sucks. But in my defense, I was very, VERY sick last night. So basically, I spent my Halloween in 6 layers of fleece, alternating between chattering teeth and clammy sweats, feeling pretty sorry for myself.
What a far cry from the Halloween when I was 19, and a sophomore at the U of O. Having dressed as a "sexy witch" (the result of going to the costume store after all the good costumes were taken), I went with my friend Lance (and others, who I can't even remember now) to a house party.
All fine and good.
Then suddenly someone was bleeding all over the place, having been cut with the shards of a broken beer bottle. We went outside to investigate. And then, even more suddenly, we were in the middle of a riot. People were breaking car windows, and even managed to flip a car over onto its hood. A few minutes later, we were being tear gassed by the police.
We fled back to my place and watched a movie, as I recall. Quite the dramatic evening.
Posted by madchen at 09:46 PM | Comments (1)Weekend Fun
Click on the photo to the left to see all the pictures from the past weekend's festivities at Deep Creek Lake. I had so much fun--and it was great to spend some quality time with friends that I don't get to see too often anymore. Of course, now we're in the inital stages of planning the next big getaway. I'm voting for Cancun, but I have a feeling we'll be closer to Snowshoe Mountain.
Since my return on Sunday afternoon, I've been struck down with Avian Bird Flu. Well, actually, I think it's probably the regular flu, but I figure I deserve the sympathy and public support that Avian Bird Flu would get me. Because I'm sure not getting it at home--my mother suggested last night that instead of watching television in the family room, I should sequester myself in my room, so not as to spread my germs. I decided not to tell her that I had already licked every toothbrush in the house.
Fortunately, I think I've turned the corner and now am quite confident that I will not be keeling over dead at any moment. Of course, that means I need to complete my work assignment, finish my laundry (I just now unpacked from the weekend at DCL), and write my very, very belated webring topic. Off I go...
Posted by madchen at 09:05 PM | Comments (2)
