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September 16, 2005
Teenage Adventures
Yesterday, the Washington Post published an article entitled "Study: Half Teens Had Oral Sex". It should have been called "Things I Could Have Told You From Personal Experience".
(Note to readers, if you would prefer to live your life without knowledge of my past sexual history, I suggest you skip this entry altogether--although the article itself is a good read.)
The article opens:
Slightly more than half of American teenagers, ages 15 to 19, have engaged in oral sex, with females and males reporting similar levels of experience, according to the most comprehensive national survey of sexual behaviors ever released by the federal government. The report today by the National Center for Health Statistics shows that the figure increases to about 70 percent of 18- and 19-year-olds.
Is anyone surprised? Really, are you? And if you are suprised, is it in a horrified sort of way? The scientific authorities are all up in arms about it--and maybe I've mellowed in my pernicious judgements of late--but this statistic seems neither surprising nor terrible to me.
The article goes on to talk about girls and boys and how it now appears that they are equally active--unlike the past when boys were considered the "hunters" and girls were considered the "prey".
The data also underscore the fact that, unlike their parents' generation, many young people -- particularly those from middle- and upper-income white families -- simply do not consider oral sex a big deal."Oral sex is far less intimate than intercourse. It's a different kind of relationship," said Claire Brindis, professor of pediatrics at the University of California-San Francisco. "At 50 percent, we're talking about a major social norm. It's part of kids' lives."
Yup, that's how I remember it. (And here's where my parents want to STOP READING.) I started having oral sex when I was 16. Was I the prey, or was I the hunter? Neither, and both. I was in a committed (yet oh-so-immature) relationship with my high school boyfriend and we sort of stumbled into it together. I think he was probably helped along (from a logistics perspective) by his hand-me-down collection of 1980's porn, which was later ceremoniously passed to his younger brother. It was fantastic, and emotional, and intimate--but it didn't change my life like I thought it would. Yup, it was just a normal part of my life.
The newly released data, gathered in 2002, are sure to stir debate over abstinence-only sex education. Supporters of such programs say they have resulted in young people delaying intercourse, but opponents say they simply have led young people to substitute other risky behaviors, especially fellatio and cunnilingus. The new data tend to support the latter view, showing that nearly one in four virgin teens has engaged in oral sex.
To go back to my personal experience, duh! I was engaging in oral sex YEARS before I actually had intercourse. And it wasn't because of pregnancy issues (I was on the pill for medical, not contraceptive, reasons) but because I wasn't ready to be "having sex". Looking back, that was silly. Nowdays, it is MUCH more intimate to have oral sex than to just have intercourse. In fact, I probably had more oral sex in the 2 years before I had sex than in the decade afterwards. Hmm, that's quite sad for me.
Child Trend's analysis breaks down the federal data by age, race and ethnicity, mother's education, family structure and income. Combined, these breakdowns show that oral sex is most common among white families in the higher-income brackets.
Damn, I've been profiled.
Anyway, my real issue with this whole study is that it's asking the wrong questions (or the Washington Post is writing about the wrong results). The question is not whether teenagers are having sex, or oral sex, or whatever. It's whether they are doing it in a dangerous way. For me, I was in a committed relationship with a fellow virgin. We didn't have sex AND I was on the pill. Aside from the fear of someone walking in on us, we were pretty safe about it--both physically and emotionally. That, I think, is the big issue with teen sexual exploration.
I encourage everyone to leave comments (you can do it anonymously--the request for name, email, and website are purely optional) with your take on this issue. Am I totally off base? Note that you may not be able to post a comment with the word "sex" in it--so you can just write s*x, or something. It's irritating, but it prevents spam.
Comments
I'm not shocked. Am I shocked that you were having oral s*x at 16 (MENTAL IMAGE!!)? No, you were always the scandalous friend ;)
Posted by: KT at September 17, 2005 10:41 AM
