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August 05, 2005
Hate Mail
It's kind of fun to realize that crazy people read Write Again Soon. And not just the crazy people I call my friends and family, but crazy strangers as well.
Check out this entry, from my June trip to Turkey. Apparently, "some" people are quite unhappy about my portrayal of Kemal, our local guide to Nemrut Dagi. The entire reference read:
Our local guide Kemal (who is an unmitigated disaster) gave us a shoddy tour of the area—actually mumbling directly from a brochure that we could easily have read (and understood) better ourselves.
I assure you, that entry did not do justice to the absurdity of this guide. I failed to mention the atrocious combover, the hip-hugger jeans, the l-o-n-g sideburns, and the bad attitude (he tried to scam us out of the tour entirely, and only when our tour leader threatened to call his boss did he deign to join us on the trip at all).
Well, I noticed yesterday that someone had been directed to my website by searching on the term "nemrut malatya kemal". And lo and behold, today I received the following 5 comments in a record half hour:
- (Anonymous) you are a big lair malatya nemrut and our guide kemal was excellant.because you didnot like him.but every body liked.
- (Alex) madchen you are not gentle.everthing vas ok.our lokal guide vas good.he did everyting free.whay you are not wtitting true. how much you paid his.he gave us his oll day and information free.please be honest
- (Kate) madchen you are not gentle.everthing vas ok.our lokal guide vas good.he did everyting free.whay you are not wtitting true. how much you paid his.he gave us his oll day and information free.please be honest
- (Kate) how can you write that abaut our lokal guide.he too us from malatya he showed extra historikal places and he did everything free.if you are human you cant write like that.he vas a friend he did everything free he spent a dy onl for us he showed turkish hospştality to us . kemal dont worry you are the best turkish guide ı have seen in my life.thankz
- (elisabht) ı know your mum. you are the same. because şhe vas famauus whore of usa
Let us take a minute to reflect on these thoughtful comments. First, it's strange that both Alex and Kate would spontaneously write the same comment, with bad grammar and all. Second, strange that a group with such Caucasian names (Alex, Kate, and of course, Elisabht) would have such a poor command of the English language. Is it possible, dare I say it, might these comments NOT actually be from dear readers Alex, Kate, and Elisabht? Could it be that Kemal, in addition to his poor fashion taste and inadequate tour guiding, also suffers from multiple personalities and a compulsion to look himself up on the internet?
I'll leave the speculation to others. The real news of the day is that, apparently, my mom has had a secret career, which she kept from all of us, and one which I have (unbeknownst to even myself) followed in her footsteps!
Comments
Can you hear me laughing? One of your best entries ever -- filled with the sarcastic wit we've all come to know and love.
Just what I needed to bring a smile to my face on this otherwise nerve-wracking morning.
Peace,
A
By the way, if Kemal did EVERYTHING for free, as Alex and Kate 1 and 2 proclaim, has he also joined that time-worn profession?
Posted by: Amy at August 5, 2005 05:57 AM
Hilarious. Thanks, Jenn, for a great laugh. By the way, I aspire to handle strange comments on my blog with the grace and wit you've displayed here. I got creeped out by my mystery commenter and blocked him from being able to post future commments. Next time, I'll try your tactic.
Posted by: Seabrooke at August 5, 2005 08:07 AM
Awesome. I've only ever received one anonymous posting. I guess I should use more distinct words, like Kemel.
But come now... can you honestly say you didn't know that you were following in your mother's footsteps?
Here's hoping many others google "nemrut malatya kemal" just before their tour with him, and then back out, despite your being a big lair, not gentle, and spawn of an American whore.
Posted by: Mr. Bad Apologies at August 5, 2005 10:58 AM
I have strangers in Chicago, Baltimore, and Pennsylvania who read my blog. Oh yes. I have arrived.
Posted by: KT at August 8, 2005 12:28 PM
