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August 31, 2005
Books I Read in August
The Falcon at the Portal: An Amelia Peabody Mystery
by Elizabeth Peters
Amazon.com: "'Really,' I thought in mounting exasperation, 'there never was a household in which so many people felt free to offer their unsolicited opinions!'" This, of course, is the eminent Egyptologist and dedicated crime solver Amelia Peabody, setting the stage and the tone (an updated Oscar Wildean irony) for Elizabeth Peters's 11th book. And it's true that there are no shrinking violets in this particular household, from the redoubtable Amelia and her hot-tempered archaeologist husband Emerson (his native diggers call him the Father of Curses), to their dashing, unpredictable son Ramses (born Walter). Also, let's not forget their lovely ward, Nefret (rescued from a desert tribe several books back), and their butler, Gargery, "who wields a cudgel as handily as he carves a roast."
As she has so many times before, Peters presents us with this quaint--even campy--little group of people, plops them down in an exotic Egyptian setting, and then surprises us by involving them in a story of great strength and emotion.
My Review: This book just about killed me, ending with a HUGE cliffhanger. I *heart* the Amelia Peabody series. It's a guilty pleasure for which I feel no shame.
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He Shall Thunder in the Sky: An Amelia Peabody Mystery
by Elizabeth Peters
Amazon.com: He Shall Thunder in the Sky completes an internal quartet (which also includes Seeing a Large Cat, The Ape Who Guards the Balance, and The Falcon at the Portal) within Elizabeth Peters's legendary series starring Amelia Peabody, the intrepid Edwardian Egyptologist, her husband, Emerson, and her extended family. The quartet comprises not only Amelia's diary of those years but also parts of a mysterious "Manuscript H," an omniscient viewpoint that allows a glimpse into the minds of Amelia's son--the dashing and brilliant Ramses--and her ward, Nefret Forth, as they mature into adults with their own secrets and agendas. The climax and denouement are entirely worth the price of admission--tying up a decade's worth of loose strings and explaining some nagging points so subtle that less observant readers might easily have missed them. It's Peters's great gift that in the grand scheme of things, no clues are wasted. Her plotting is wonderfully complex and intriguing, and it fits seamlessly into the detailed historical background she builds so carefully. It may have taken years for her to complete this four-part dance (she promises more Amelia Peabody mysteries in the future), but she's charmed us right out of our dancing slippers along the way.
My Review: This book was hands down the best one in the series (so far, there are still 6 to go). I double *heart* the Amelia Peabody series, even if it did reinforce my desperately single status by sending me erotic dreams about one of the main characters.
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The Birchbark House
by Louise Erdrich
Amazon.com: Nineteenth-century American pioneer life was introduced to thousands of young readers by Laura Ingalls Wilder's beloved Little House books. With The Birchbark House, award-winning author Louise Erdrich's first novel for young readers, this same slice of history is seen through the eyes of the spirited, 7-year-old Ojibwa girl Omakayas, or Little Frog, so named because her first step was a hop. The sole survivor of a smallpox epidemic on Spirit Island, Omakayas, then only a baby girl, was rescued by a fearless woman named Tallow and welcomed into an Ojibwa family on Lake Superior's Madeline Island, the Island of the Golden-Breasted Woodpecker. We follow Omakayas and her adopted family through a cycle of four seasons in 1847, including the winter, when a historically documented outbreak of smallpox overtook the island.
My Review: Hmm. I had read The Last Report on the Miracles at Little No Horse by Louise Erdrich earlier in the year and loved it. I had read that many of her books were interconnected and so I immediately picked up this one. Little did I know that it was a book for CHILDREN! Sure, it was fine, in a Laura Ingalls Wilder sort of way. But I'm disappointed that I didn't spend that time on another of her adult books.
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This Is Not Civilization
by Robert Rosenberg
Booklist: The lives of four people from vastly different backgrounds cross in an antic tale, which starts in Arizona and ends in Istanbul. Jeff, the gormless but likable linchpin of the story, travels from a disastrous job on a Native American reservation in the U.S. to a fruitless spell as a Peace Corps volunteer teaching English to factory workers in post-Soviet Kyrgyzstan. In his travels, Jeff forges connections with an Apache youth and a Kirgiz family. Major characters are strongly depicted, although Jeff's lack of motivation remains a mystery. The basic bleakness of a book set in regions of poverty and hardship is leavened with humor rooted in cultural differences and the misunderstandings that arise from them. Plot and characterization build through the first three sections--set in Arizona and Kyrgyzstan--but fall apart in the last section, set in Istanbul during the destruction of the 1999 earthquake. Despite the overly melodramatic and pat ending, Rosenberg's modern picaresque tour is a well-written, engaging, and promising debut.
My Review: This was the August book club selection, and since we're meeting next week to discuss it, I won't go into detail. Not that I have that much to say. I could take it or leave it--although it was cool to read about Turkey and remember the fun times Jess and I had there in June.
Posted by madchen at 03:41 AM | Comments (0)August 30, 2005
Flying Spaghetti Monster
Ahh, this is one of my favorite stories to come out of the debate currently being heard by the Kansas State Board of Education. The topic is whether Intelligent Design should be taught alongside evolution in the schools.
Check out the Bobby Henderson's website for letters from three Kansas education board members, along with other fun stuff.
Posted by madchen at 03:00 PM | Comments (2)Running Late
It seems that these days I'm always running late. After being in Sweden for a year, where they are "sharp, sharp", I've slacked off. Partly, I've forgotten how atrociously long it takes to get anywhere. And then there's the sorry state of my car--which conked out on me Tuesday morning, as I was dashing out of the house for a meeting. By the time I managed to have it towed to the service station, agree to the charges for fixing it (add another $1,000 to my bill, please), and pick it up this morning, there was a lot of time to spend walking to work (2 miles), walking to the metro, sitting on the metro, taking a cab from the metro to my friend's house (I have little confidence in the bus system), and walking home again. So even though I'm spending a LOT more time in transit, I'm not exacly arriving early. On the other hand, all that walking has burned calories, and the metro has given me a renewed appreciation for the bizarre people-watching opportunities of public transit.
And still, I'm overwhelmed with work. Jess moved into her new apartment this week, which meant that I spent a lot of the weekend helping her move. Because of some mix-up, I was the only one designated to drive the moving van--lots of fun! I think that in another life, I could definitely be a trucker.
But I digress. The website for the Big Idea is coming out on Wednesday, and I'M SO EXCITED!! Of course, between now and then, I need to finish up the final reports for my two clients. That is going to be somewhat problematic, because Jess has borrowed my computer to work on until she gets her own computer. Since she's all alone in her apartment, and I can just use my parent's machine, it seemed like a good compromise. But I forgot about how inconvenient it is not to have all my internet bookmarks, contacts, and the like. But all will be fixed tonight, when the Great Computer Swap of 2005 occurs. This afternoon, I will be moving the entire hard drive (and operating system) from my mom's computer onto my external hard drive. Then, my mom will drive her computer up to Baltimore and give it to Jessica, who will swap it with my laptop. Then, over the next couple of days, my mom will use my computer until we get her a new laptop. If we can pull this off while I'm still able to get my client reports out on time, it will be a miracle.
And to prove I'm so stressed for time, I think I'll drive downtown and meet friends for lunch. It's Ms. Wish To See's birthday, and a special occasion is in order.
Posted by madchen at 11:18 AM | Comments (1)August 25, 2005
More Hate Mail...
Actually, this one is related to the Big Idea. In the process of gathering data for the business, I've contacted a bunch of companies and asked them about their business practices. Some have been very forthcoming, others not so much. After chasing down this guy for weeks, and finally getting only the most cursory of responses, I got this message:
I must add that I feel this process was a complete waste of time.
There was more, but that was the gist. Perhaps I won't be approaching him with the Big Idea.
Posted by madchen at 06:38 AM | Comments (0)August 22, 2005
My definition of success -- WEbring Assignment #4
This week's topic, "My definition of success", comes courtesy of Ms. Wish To See. She's definitely on to something, because everyone on the WEbring list is going through major changes and (if they are like me) are sorely in need of some serious reflection.
As for me, I've not exactly been a shining emblem of continuity. I've moved three times in the past 15 months (from condo to parents to Sweden to parents), quit my job and then returned to it in another guise, and suddenly decided that I need my own business.
All this change cries out for a little structure. And boy do I need it--right now I'm all over the board, trying to manage all the details without making any major mistakes.
And this might be an example of where my newly minted graduate degree in Strategic Leadership Towards Sustainability comes in. One of the most useful things we learned was the (drumroll, please):
5 Level Model for Planning in Complex Systems.
The gist is that in any complex system there are five non-overlapping, but inter-related levels that must be understood in order to strategically plan for the future. They are:
1. System: If we consider "my life" to be the system, then level one includes understanding all the relevant aspects (my health, my financial situation, my obligations, my family/friends, etc.)
2. Success: Here is the tricky part. How will I know if I have succeeded in my life? A question for the ages.
3. Strategy: Once I understand what "success" means, then I can decide on strategies to get me there. But until I know how to define success, I shouldn't be expending a lot of energy on strategies that might actually be moving me in the wrong direction.
4. Actions: This level includes everything I do to move strategically towards success. Like taking a shower every day (or two).
5. Tools: The final level in the model is tools, which are the "helpers" I will use. In the "my life" system, this might include education, the internet, my car, etc.
Whew. Enough exposition.
So what is my definition of success. As I understand it from the model above, everything hinges on knowing my vision of the future. While it's impossible to try and create a vision for the entire rest of my life (although I tried it here), I can at least outline a few "success" goals for the next couple of years.
1. As usual, financial security is at the top of my list. While I don't need to be rich, I never, EVER want to be in a place where I can't pay the rent. When I look at all the other characteristics of my dream life, I would almost always sacrifice the others for financial security.
2. Next on my list is autonomy. In relationships and in work, I want the freedom to be my own person, dictate my own schedule, and plan my own future.
3. Third on my list is a robust social circle. Right now, I'm extremely pleased with my group of friends and family. They are diverse but cohesive, funny, and smart. I'm proud to be part of their lives.
Hmm, this is interesting. All this time I thought that "moving out" and "starting my own business" were on the success list. But it turns out that those are really strategies designed to move me towards success.
Nonetheless, it gives me a shiver of excitement to see that Ms. Post No Bills has completed a first draft of the Big Idea's website. With any luck, it will be up and running by the middle of next week. Hurray for tools (the website) that lead to actions (advertising my services) as part of a strategy (starting my own business) that move towards success (financial security and autonomy) in the system (my life)!
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For other commentary on "My Definition of Success", see:
Post No Bills
A Prize in Every Box
Bad Apologies
Wish to See
A Little Maryment
Missing Sweden
August 20, 2005
Mosquito Hell
Janie's dad has been visiting us over the past few days. It's funny to see him with Janie, because they have such a different dynamic that the mother-daughter relationship I normally see around the house. Janie's dad is more of a barbie-playing, rough-housing guy than Jess--and if you watch carefully, you can actually see the roller coaster of emotions we call Janie's afternoon.
First, Janie's dad proudly showcases his Barbia hotel. Notice the Ken doll in the lower lefthand corner. He's the one in the red blazer. If you squint a little, you can just make out the apron covering his otherwise bare lower half and the detachable stomach from the "pregnant" Barbie functioning as his helmet. What a sense of style!
Next, the real fun begins. Notice Janie's delight at being dangled upside down. Not pictured is Jess at the desk, shaking her head with knowledge of the disaster to come.
Now the laughter has turned to indiscriminate shrieking--and when Janie begins the walk down the fine line between good cheer and sobbing misery. You can guess how this one ended.
Ten minutes later, a semblance of civility had been restored. Chinese food was consumed for dinner and I watched The Battle of Algiers. I can see why the French banned it in the 1960s. I highly recommend it.
And I have a mosquito bite on my face. Now you're all caught up.
Posted by madchen at 01:32 AM | Comments (1)August 18, 2005
Game Set Match
After several weeks of hot, muggy Washington, D.C. weather, yesterday was sublime. Claiming that I had acclimated to the Swedish temperatures, I've mostly been staying inside, but the time has come to venture out.
I played tennis, and took a set from my dad for the first time EVER. I was quite pleased. And then I played softball--getting on base 4 times out of 5, and never swinging ONCE. I am a very, very, patient batter.
Other than that, things here are quite mundane. I'm busy with juggling work AND the Big Idea.
I'm mostly feeling like a small person in a very big world.
Posted by madchen at 11:51 PM | Comments (1)August 16, 2005
Moving on Up
As I have mentioned before, one of my top priorities for the next couple months is moving to a new apartment. Since coming back from Sweden at the end of June, the delight of living with my parents has subsided into mere gratefulness for free rent.
I've been keeping an eye out for reasonably priced homes, while simultaneously deeply regreting selling my condo last year (although it did fund my time in Sweden). I am now much chagrined to read this article from CNN Money on "Most overpriced home markets". For although FindYourSpot would seem to indicate I belong in the Southwest, I would prefer to remain in the D.C. metro area for the next couple years, at least.
At the bottom of the article, it explains that only in about 20 metro areas, mostly located in eight states, does the relationship of home price to income defy logic. It then proceeds to enumerate the 50 most overpriced markets. The list is based on employment forecasts, population forecasts, and income level and growth compared with housing prices.
Let us quickly review the results:
--- #3 on the list is "Bethesda-Frederick-Gaithersburg, MD" which basically described my ideal place to live. Bah!
--- #4 on the list is "Washington-Arlington-Alexandria, DC-VA-MD-WV" which is the next best thing to the Bethesda area. Double bah!
--- #21 on the list is "Baltimore-Towson, MD" which is the third best thing in the area (although even that is a little far out of the "ideal" range).
--- Basically every single town in California (and several in the Southwest) is also on the list, which means that anyone in the market for a new home should be looking in the Midwest. Triple bah!
Posted by madchen at 04:41 PM | Comments (1)Guilty Pleasures -- Webring Assignment #3
This week's WEbring assignment comes courtesy of Ms. NYC Rouge. She says: Please confess a particular guilty pleasure that brings you some bit of shame. I was torn over this entry, because there isn't a lot that I'm ashamed about. But then I realized that I only needed to identify something that brings me some bit of shame--and that was lots easier.
So here it goes: my guilty pleasure is internet dating.
Whew, there it's out. I feel so much better! Well, not so much--after all, there is a little bit of shame associated with this activity.
It's strange to say that I actually got into internet dating from an old boyfriend. We dated for awhile, decided it wasn't going to work out, but were still quite cordial--in a friends with benefits sort of way. He had been doing Match.com for a while, and actually dated the girl who eventually set the two of us up (I guess he remains cordial with all his exes). Anyway, he made it seem normal enough that I decided to give it a try. So, I've done it off and on for the last 3 years.
(Although there was a big chunk of time in Sweden where no internet dating happened at all--I feel strongly that the line between "normal internet dating" and "freaky-mail-order-bride internet dating" is determined in the distance between the two people.)
And while I haven't found the love of my life, I have gone on many, many fun dates (and a few terrible ones) and have even dated people for months at a time. I think that one of the best things about internet dating is that you aren't friends beforehand. That means that when there isn't chemistry on both sides, or the relationship just isn't going to work, there's no sadness that "the friendship will never be the same." You just go on leading your normal life.
Most of my friends don't seem phased by the idea of internet dating (and a fair share have tried it themselves), but my parents are appalled. As my mother says, "if you marry this guy, we'll have to tell people you met through friends." At least now that I've successfully dated these guys for months on end, they are less concerned that I'll end up dead in a ditch, with some strange cult markings on my naked body.
And that, dear readers, is my guilty pleasure.
I should also mention my habit of going to Whole Foods in the dead of cold, gray winter, just to smell the produce and convince myself that somewhere out there the sun is still shining.
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For other commentary on "Guilty Pleasures", see:
Post No Bills
A Prize in Every Box
Bad Apologies
Wish to See
A Little Maryment
August 15, 2005
24 Hours
I'm disheartened by the malicious mis-information that is the 24-hour Claritin pill.
For the last couple days, I've had a miserable case of allergies. Going all the way back to 6th grade, I've had rotten fall allergies--I just never remembered them starting this early.
And unlike Kevin, who scorns the use of foreign chemicals in his body, I thankfully grab up the nearest antihistamine the moment that first sniffle starts up.
Unfortunately, the 24-hour Claritin is more like an 18-hour Claritin, which leaves me with a miserable 6 hours. Because while I'm sure that a single day of overlapping "active ingredient" wouldn't kill me, I'm not sure what 5 weeks of overdosing would do. Perhaps I would have babies with three heads.
At any rate, I am refusing to leave the house. I opened the door this morning and then proceeded to sneeze 8 times. In a row. With no kleenexes handy.
It was not a pretty sight.
Update: It is now 2:35 p.m. and the Claritin (which I took a mere 21 hours after my previous dose--what a daredevil!) has kicked in. Boy has it kicked in.
First of all, I'm exhausted. I didn't manage to get to sleep until after 4 a.m. (a mixture of nervous thoughts about The Big Idea and a good audiobook) and my allergies woke me up at 8:15. That's 8:15 IN THE MORNING. A FULL HOUR BEFORE MY ALARM WENT OFF. Call the Pope, please, because a miracle has happened.
So I'm running on no sleep anyway, and then I added Claritin, which gives me so much fidgety, wiggley energy that I can barely sit still. I have approximately 317 applications open on my computer, and I can't focus on just, say, three of them. Oh no, instead I'm tabbing back and forth, accomplishing nothing (and possibly doing signficant damage to my otherwise ordered existence)--and then jumping up to go look out the window, or take out the garbage, or see if the laundry is done (it's not). And all I really want to do it take a nap--but I think if I got into bed my legs might jump out of their hip sockets and continue running around by themselves.
I have sympathy for those ADHD kids.
Update #2: It's now 3:49 and the laundry is done. Just thought you might like to know. I've written emails to everyone I've ever met, and after perusing Amazon.com, know that I have read 35 of the top 100 "literature and fiction" bestsellers. I'm proud to say that I haven't read any of the Dean Koontz or James Patterson tripe (which must account for nearly 25% of the Amazon list), which makes the list that I have read look that much more impressive.
Posted by madchen at 09:16 AM | Comments (2)August 12, 2005
My fancy lawyer friend writes...
...So can you disclose what the Big Idea is? I hope it involves an international gigolo ring.
What an intriguing idea. I hadn't considered that angle of the business, but I will look into it immediately.
Posted by madchen at 11:56 AM | Comments (2)I do not think that it means what you think that it means
--- "Quite right," Emerson ejaculated. "I cannot imagine what you were thinking of, Peabody, to suggest such a thing.
--- "Holy Jehoshaphat," he ejaculated. "How did she get up here? Not by way of the stairs, or I'd have seen her coming."
--- "Hell and damnation!" I ejaculated, for I knew those light, quick steps.
My, my, my. Certain words that one might casually skip over while reading a book seem to stand out when read aloud.
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In other news, Janie is now answering the phone herself. I was doing a spot of emergency babysitting this morning, which is now quite delightful since Janie can entertain herself for hours on end with a Barbie hotel, Barbie house, Blue's Clues videos, and a pack of Ritz crackers. I was making some calls (part of the BIG IDEA) on my computer (people who aren't on Skype yet are hopeless) and I needed complete quiet. After all, it's hard to sound uber-professional with a small child babbling in the background about the aforementioned Barbie motel, Barbie house, Blue's Clues videos, and pack of Ritz crackers.
So we had a little discussion about how she could watch videos upstairs, and that if she needed me for an EMERGENCY (defined in great detail), she could come downstairs and whisper to me. All fine and good. I didn't hear a peep out of her for 45 minutes.
Then, in the middle of a VERY important phone call on MY line, the house phone rings. To make matters worse, for some reason I had three cordless phones--taken from various places in the house--in the basement room, so it was a cacophony of noise. Trying to maintain my composure, I managed to continue my phone conversation long enough for the house answering machine to pick up.
But then...I notice that the house phone has stopped ringing, but the answering machine (also located in the basement where my desk is) never picked up. I figure the person had hung up, but a few seconds later, Janie trots into the room with the phone in her hand. She whispers that its my father, calling from Kansas, and simply refuses to tell him I'll call him back. I'm wildly trying to shoo her away, while maintaining my smooth telephone persona on MY call, even as her protestations grow in volume.
I ended up having to tell MY phone call to hold on a second, while I talked to my dad on the house phone long enough to arrange to call him back. Once I took the phone, Janie happily returned to her Barbie Barbie house, Blue's Clues videos, and pack of Ritz crackers.
It was only later, once I had concluded MY telephone calls--the guy at the other end didn't seem to mind the high-pitched shrieking interruption on my end--did it occur to me that Janie had picked up the phone on her own. I wandered upstairs, located her in her bedroom-having moved on to dress-up games.
"Why did you pick up the phone?"
"It was grandad."
"I know it was. But how did YOU know that it was grandad before you picked up?"
"I saw there was a Q in the name." [Referring to the caller ID.]
"Janie, there is no Q in our name."
"Ya-huh there is. Besides, I knew it was him."
"How?"
[Rolls eyes and emits deep sigh.] "Aunt Jen, I know my own family."
I left the room at that point, convinced that we could continue discussing the issue for another 20 minutes and get nowhere.
Posted by madchen at 01:13 AM | Comments (0)August 11, 2005
Off the Ground
The time has come to either commit, or cut and run. And I think I'm going to commit. You see, I've finally taken steps to go forward with the "big idea".
Now that other organizations (ok, even though I'm currently testing the service for free, I'm going to call them clients) are involved, I'm feeling a lot of pressure. If all goes well, I hope that these clients will be the first in a long line of happy customers. But that means it has to go smoothly this time around.
Actually it doesn't, really. I stipulated that this "beta test" would be provided free of charge in exchange for being a little more flexibility with the end result. In fact, these initial clients have committed themselves to working with me to go over the product and make sure it works. So I guess I should stop worrying and just get on with it.
Of course, trying to do this while simultaneously working a normal 40-hour week is somewhat trying. Fortunately, my contract work can be done at any time of the day, so it's no problem to put that research off until the evening so I can contact MY clients during normal business hours. On the other hand, since some of them are in Europe, I'll probably find myself up in the middle of the night making telephone calls anyway.
Anyway, it's VERY exciting.
Posted by madchen at 01:52 PM | Comments (0)August 08, 2005
Body Modification – Webring Assignment #2
This week's topic of Body Modification is brought to you courtesy of Fliven, or Mr. A Prize in Every Box, which is much too wordy and so, he shall henceforth be called Mr. Fliven. For the record, Mr. Fliven has two tattoos and is generally against body piercing for himself, although is fine with other people doing it as long as they aren't jangly when they talk. So now you know about him.
What can I say about body modification? Not much, although what I do know can be broken down into three categories.
NUMBER ONE
As part of that first crazy month in college, I went with a friend to a local tattoo parlor and got a shoddy piece of art forever imprinted on my body. From that experience I share with you Lesson #1: Stop. Breathe. Think. I should have done some research, looked at more photos, and waited until the initial excitement of being old enough to make permanent body modifications had worn off.
NUMBER TWO
A year later I went with my boyfriend to a different tattoo parlor, this one right across the street from my apartment and MUCH more respectable, and we got pierced. He got his tongue done, and I had my nipple and upper ear done. From that experience I share with you Lesson #2: The second piercing is always more painful than the first.
The guy who did the piercing (The Piercer?) had mentioned that the first piercing sensitizes the body to pain, and that it's better to do them simultaneously, or have the less-traditionally painful one done first. (Apparently, most women who get both nipples pierced have them done simultaneously, for just this reason.) At any rate, I took his suggestion and had the, ahem, less traditional body part pierced first.
I can't comment on the truth of his advice, since the first piercing was undoubtedly the most painful three seconds of my life—and continued to be painful for months afterward anytime I came in contact with an after-shower towel. On the other hand, had I done the ear first, I probably would have passed out when we moved south.
NUMBER THREE
Under the broad term of Body Modification, I think that body art (tattoos and body piercing) is the least of our obsessions. Instead, I would like to broach the topic of "diet and exercise" as America's main form of body modification, as we all seek to be the most "attractive" people we can be.
From a health perspective, it makes sense. An out-of-shape, fat person is much more likely to face serious health problems, like diabetes, heart disease, and stroke. On the other hand, I don't look in the mirror every morning with aversion and see an "unhealthy" person. No, the reason I feel such dismay has nothing to do with the likelihood of a trip to the hospital.
Ask any fat person. If you had three wishes, what would they be? I guarantee the answer (even if it's just a silent scream in their head, while out loud they speak of world peace, financial security, and fabulous shoes) is TO BE THIN.
When I close my eyes and think of body modification, I don't dream about getting another tattoo, piercing another part, or any other form of wild "art". No, I dream of sitting at the bar with my girlfriends and not being "the fat one".
So what's Lesson #3? Maybe it's not so much a lesson as a reflection: while tattoos and body piercing are becoming more acceptable in mainstream society, being fat is not. Phrased another way: beware the girl working from home a mere 15 feet away from the refrigerator.
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For other commentary on "Body Modification", see:
Post No Bills
A Prize in Every Box
Bad Apologies
Wish to See
A Little Maryment
August 06, 2005
Enjoying the Moment
Even as every atom of my being screams "get your own place" I am trying to enjoy the simple pleasures of being home with my family.
Today, I was distracted from watching TV by Janie's shrieks of joy coming from the backyard. A squirtgun war was in full force, the sprinkler was gushing obscene amounts of water on the pavement, and the mosquitos were in full force.
I grabbed my camera and caught some of the moments on film (well, digital pixels) and even managed to tape some of it on my new video camera.
Some day, when I've exhausted 10 years of my life in blissful solitude, having eschewed the pleas of my lonely family, I will revisit that videotape and remember the simple joys of family life.
Until then, I'm going to lock myself in the guest room and plot ways to escape.
(Click on the picture to see all the photos from today's festivities.)
Books I Read This Week
Little Earthquakes : A Novel
by Jennifer Weiner
Amazon.com: Jennifer Weiner, whose novels Good in Bed and In Her Shoes earned her a place among women's book club aficionados everywhere, proves she still has the touch with Little Earthquakes, a tale of love, heartbreak, redemption, and friendship. Weiner's novel centers around four new mothers, all of whom must learn to adjust their lives and their marriages to deal with the challenges of raising children.
Ayinde is a beautiful, biracial newscaster who moves to Philadelphia after her husband, a star player for the NBA, is traded to the 76ers. She meets Becky, an overweight chef who plays the "pregnant or just fat" game every time she passes a mirror, and Kelly, an overachieving event planner who has her whole life mapped out down to the most minute details, after going into labor at a prenatal yoga class. The three become fast friends, and come to rely on each other for everything from burping techniques to intense emotional support. The group grows to include Lia, a semi-famous Hollywood starlet who leaves her husband and returns to Philly after a sudden tragedy.
While Little Earthquakes may leave little to the imagination, and some of the characters are laughably stereotypical (the Mama's boy Jewish doctor and the cheating ball player, to name a few), it is Weiner's gift for creating compelling characters with whom her readers can identify that make her such a successful storyteller.
My Review: I started this 448 page book at 11 p.m. and read straight through until 4:30 a.m. I just couldn't seem to put it down. I laughed (out loud, startling the cat sleeping on my bed), I cried, I went to work the next morning with big circles under my eyes and passed the book onto a friend.
Posted by madchen at 02:12 AM | Comments (0)August 05, 2005
The Great Divorce
I love starting trends. A couple of days ago I used the website Find Your Spot to determine best cities for me to live in. After discovering that I belong in the Southwest along with the vast majority of non-Floridian retirees, I was eager for my friends and family to see where they should live.
There was also an added bonus. The issue of where my parents should move when my dad retires next year has been a subject that has haunted the entire family for years. My mom wants to live in San Diego, in a large house (to entertain her retired friends, ya know) while my dad wants to become a recluse in a small cabin in the Rocky Mountains (with not so much entertaining). The idea of coming up with a new location that would be mutually agreeable was too much to pass up. Enter FindYourSpot.com.
So as not to incur any bias into the survey results, I had both parents fill out the survey at the same time, on different computers.
How little did I know that, while Janie watched TV and I hovered nervously between the dueling computers, the end of my parents' marriage was upon us.
Well, perhaps I exaggerate, but it certainly does not inspire confidence to realize that of the 20 towns and cities selected for each of my parents, they only had ONE in common.
Guess they're moving to Phoenix, Arizona.
Posted by madchen at 08:54 PM | Comments (1)Hate Mail
It's kind of fun to realize that crazy people read Write Again Soon. And not just the crazy people I call my friends and family, but crazy strangers as well.
Check out this entry, from my June trip to Turkey. Apparently, "some" people are quite unhappy about my portrayal of Kemal, our local guide to Nemrut Dagi. The entire reference read:
Our local guide Kemal (who is an unmitigated disaster) gave us a shoddy tour of the area—actually mumbling directly from a brochure that we could easily have read (and understood) better ourselves.
I assure you, that entry did not do justice to the absurdity of this guide. I failed to mention the atrocious combover, the hip-hugger jeans, the l-o-n-g sideburns, and the bad attitude (he tried to scam us out of the tour entirely, and only when our tour leader threatened to call his boss did he deign to join us on the trip at all).
Well, I noticed yesterday that someone had been directed to my website by searching on the term "nemrut malatya kemal". And lo and behold, today I received the following 5 comments in a record half hour:
- (Anonymous) you are a big lair malatya nemrut and our guide kemal was excellant.because you didnot like him.but every body liked.
- (Alex) madchen you are not gentle.everthing vas ok.our lokal guide vas good.he did everyting free.whay you are not wtitting true. how much you paid his.he gave us his oll day and information free.please be honest
- (Kate) madchen you are not gentle.everthing vas ok.our lokal guide vas good.he did everyting free.whay you are not wtitting true. how much you paid his.he gave us his oll day and information free.please be honest
- (Kate) how can you write that abaut our lokal guide.he too us from malatya he showed extra historikal places and he did everything free.if you are human you cant write like that.he vas a friend he did everything free he spent a dy onl for us he showed turkish hospştality to us . kemal dont worry you are the best turkish guide ı have seen in my life.thankz
- (elisabht) ı know your mum. you are the same. because şhe vas famauus whore of usa
Let us take a minute to reflect on these thoughtful comments. First, it's strange that both Alex and Kate would spontaneously write the same comment, with bad grammar and all. Second, strange that a group with such Caucasian names (Alex, Kate, and of course, Elisabht) would have such a poor command of the English language. Is it possible, dare I say it, might these comments NOT actually be from dear readers Alex, Kate, and Elisabht? Could it be that Kemal, in addition to his poor fashion taste and inadequate tour guiding, also suffers from multiple personalities and a compulsion to look himself up on the internet?
I'll leave the speculation to others. The real news of the day is that, apparently, my mom has had a secret career, which she kept from all of us, and one which I have (unbeknownst to even myself) followed in her footsteps!
Posted by madchen at 02:54 AM | Comments (4)August 02, 2005
Tourism in Colombia** - Webring Assignment #1
**The country formerly known to Write Again Soon as Columbia. Hey, it was late, I was tired, and my primary reference is to the "District of", not the country.
Eyes Only
To: President Álvaro URIBE Vélez
From: Jorge Humberto Botero, Minister of Tourism
Date: August 2, 2005
Re: Phase II Talking Points
Dear Sir,
Your esteemed plan to increase tourism in Colombia is working, and we have now launched Phase II. So far, it has received excellent press on CNN. As you will certainly be asked to comment on the strategy, I have prepared a series of talking point—outlined below.
General Safety Concerns in Colombia
• You have had great success in restoring safety and security to the nation. Halfway through your four-year term, you have record high popularity ratings around 70%. Between May 2002 and September 2004 Colombia has seen a decrease in homicide by 17.6%, massacres by 55.4%, kidnappings by 35.1%, and acts of terrorism by 18.4%.
• Try not to mention our 42-year history of bloody civil war, political assassinations, and ongoing guerilla warfare.
o Do NOT comment on the existing number of foreign kidnappings (we still rank #1 in the world for kidnappings)—if it comes up, just repeat that the numbers are decreasing every year. Colombia’s terrorists have kidnapped over 50 American citizens since 1992, and killed at least 10. Three American citizens, who had been working on counternarcotics programs, are still being held hostage in Colombia, captured by the FARC in February 2003.
o Try to downplay the May 2005 U.S. Department of State advisory about Colombia, which said "violence by narcoterrorist groups and other criminal elements continues to affect all parts of the country, urban and rural. No one can be considered immune on the basis of occupation, nationality or any other factor."
• Emphasize the safety measures in place for tourists. Each group will feel like royalty when they are escorted to their beachside resorts with an escort of convoys of dozens of cars escorted by 120-strong contingents of police and military, bristling with assault rifles and machine guns!
Attractions in Colombia
• Our pristine forests and glorious coastline will appear to nature-lovers, but try not to mention that our highlands subject to volcanic eruptions, occasional earthquakes, and periodic droughts.
• Colombia also has attractions for the most urban, sophisticated traveler as well.
o Colombia supplies more than 80% of the worldwide powder cocaine supply and over 70% of the heroin supply.
o Although your administration has committed itself to the eradication of all illicit drug crops, we guarantee a copious supply of cocaine and heroine to guests who make reservations for a 7-day trip.
• Hard currency goes a long way! Because 55% of our population lives below the poverty line, prices are low. Dollars and Euros are in high demand!
• Lots of internet cafes—even though we can't keep our population from killing each other (and foreign tourists), we have plenty of internet cafes so visitors can stay in touch with the developing world. These internet connections are also helpful when relaying ransom notes!
Phase III
• Because we have publicized the tourism plan in stages (Phase I and II were described in the CNN article), there may be questions about Phase III. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you discuss Phase III, as it will inevitably lead to war with Venezuela (who already hosts nearly 1 million of our refugees), severed relations with the United States, and possible enforcement of the Kyoto Treaty, which we signed last year.
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For other commentary on "Tourism in Columbia", see:
Things Are Looking Up in Colombia from Post No Bills
Webring Post #1 from A Prize in Every Box
Tourism in [the District of] Columbia by Bad Apologies
Webring Assignment #1 - Tourism in Colombia by Wish to See
CoLUMbia? But I hardly know ya! by A Little Maryment
Where I Belong
Over the past few days, I've been thinking about where I belong. Living with my parents at the ripe old age of 27 is rapidly losing its allure and it looks like I will have to be in my own place before I can really start my new business.
All fine and good.
So for the last two weeks, I've been compulsively searching the Washington Post website for apartments and homes to buy--looking for something in my price range (unlikely) that was still in a nice area (even more unlikely).
Then it occurred to me. I don't have to live in the D.C. region at all! The world is my oyster and if I'm really serious about staying an independent consultant, then I should be looking at the whole United States (damn those international labor laws).
Enter Find Your Spot, a handy little quiz that tells you your top 20-ish places to live, based on a complex set of questions including climate, population, crime, housing market, culture, and sports. It's free and actually seemed to spit back places I might like to live.
Here's the short list:
Silver City, NM
Ashland, OR
Las Vegas, NM (not to be confused with the Las Vegas)
Milwaukle, OR
Mindon & Gardnerville, CA
Northampton, MA
Morgantown, WV
Taos, NM
(I think I must have gotten every conceivable city/town in New Mexico and Arizona, but I discarded some as too big or too expensive.)
Looks like the West Coast is a-calling. Who's up for a road trip this fall?
Posted by madchen at 02:21 AM | Comments (4)August 01, 2005
Favorite References
Most of the following phrases will only make sense to me, but I'm enamoured of these topics:
- Nerd School
- Project Jailbreak
- Six Elephant Trips
- Paychecks
- Matthew Lesko's Department of Free Money
At the eve of another week (now that my daily calendar starts on Mondays, I've relegated Sunday to the last day of the week), I have the following exciting things to look forward to:
- Seeing ex-work colleagues
- Babysitting Janie and JD (on separate days, and to tell the truth, I'm only looking forward to one of them, and it's not Janie)
- Getting final approval for the long-overdue thesis
- Hosting a brown-bag at work to discuss the long-overdue thesis
- Blackberry picking at the local orchard
