« Day 21: Canakkule to Istanbul | Main | New Beginnings »
June 20, 2005
Day 22: Istanbul to Copenhagen to London to D.C.
(Subtitle: Hurry up and wait.)
• 0500 – Alarm goes off. Go back to sleep while Jess finishes packing.
• 0530 – Alarm goes off again. Drag sorry ass out of bed.
• 0532 – Turn on hot water for shower.
• 0537 – Shower finally warms up.
• 0546 – Jump out of shower, throw on clothes, brush hair, pack pajamas in backpack.
• 0549 – Jess takes both backpacks and goes to the lobby to catch ride to airport.
• 0550 – Reset alarm. Get back in bed. Close eyes.
• 0551 – Knock on door. Get out of bed. Jess has left her flight itinerary on the dresser.
• 0552 – Jess leaves again. Get back into bed.
• 0730 – Alarm goes off. Hit snooze.
• 0734 – Alarm goes off. Hit snooze.
• 0737 – Alarm goes off. Hit snooze.
• 0741 – Alarm goes off. Get out of bed, straighten mussed hair, throw alarm clock in bag, and leave the room.
• 0742 – Sit in lobby, waiting for 8 a.m. transfer to airport.
• 0800 – Still waiting.
• 0811 – Shuttle van arrives. Feel very smug about lack of luggage.
• 0857 – Arrive at airport. Proceed to Turkish Airlines “no baggage” check-in line. Pleased to be the first in line.
• 0858 – Notice that no one is manning the check-in counter. Wonder about the intelligence of standing in a line that has no chance of moving.
• 0900 – Realize that the counter next to the “no baggage” line appears to be checking “no baggage” people in. Eagerly wait for next open opportunity.
• 0903 – Rude and ugly man walks directly past me, steps up to the check-in counter. While waiting for the airlines employee to finish with other customer, makes direct eye contact with me, then turns back to be served.
• 0907 – Rude and ugly man takes FOREVER. I consider attacking him with the intent to permanently maim, but decide violence will not speed travel out of Turkey.
• 0913 – Rude and ugly man finishes at the counter, AGAIN makes eye contact, and brushes by on his way to the gate.
• 0914 – Consider leaving the line to follow rude and ugly man to a quiet place and then kill him. Am distracted by the possibility of checking in, and discard plan.
• 0917 – Now checked in (with a minimum of hassle), traipse happily to gate.
• 0919 – Am suddenly confronted with hideous mass of humanity known as security checkpoint.
• 0920 – Choose a line to stand in, realizing that it will undoubtedly be the longest line, but unable to choose reasonable alternative.
• 0930 – Line seems to be progressing smoothly.
• 0940 – Line stops moving.
• 0945 – Amid grumbling of fellow travelers, discover that the security checkpoint line immediately to the rights has suddenly lost its security checkpoint personnel and it being diverted into OUR line. Line is now twice as long as before.
• 0955 – Passengers in other lines happily frolic in their normally-progressing lines, while we inch forward.
• 1013 – Am finally motioned to the counter. Total security check takes 15 seconds.
• 1014 – Walk towards Gate 303.
• 1017 – Finally arrive at Gate 303, notice that there is no plane, just a waiting area.
• 1025 – Scheduled departure time.
• 1036 – Ushered onto bus, which drives 200 meters to plane.
• 1037 – Am herded out of the bus, sideswiped by grown men dashing to the plane ladder. Wonder if there is a secret prize for getting on first.
• 1040 – Find my seat. Am relieved to notice the plane is practically empty. Throw murderous glances at the stupid ladder-dashers.
• 1047 – Plane finally takes off. Fall asleep immediately.
• (Lose one hour)
• 1115 – Eat satisfactory airplane food. Wonder if the food is prepared by the company recently chastised for unsanitary conditions and rotten food.
• 0100 – Arrive in Copenhagen, only 15 minutes late. Again, am shoved by stupid people running to passport control.
• 1315 – Walk through passport control, baggage claim, declaration station, and out into the main terminal.
• 1320 – Purposefully stride to the Hilton Hotel attached to the airport to retrieve luggage.
• 1330 – Helpful Hilton employee fetched the giant suitcases and loads them onto a trolley.
• 1345 – Meander back to the airport terminal, pleased with the trip so far.
• 1400 – Wait in line at the British Airways check-in counter, ready to trip anyone who attempts to cut in line.
• 1413 – Go through security. Stuffy businessman insists on putting on watch, dropping change in pocket, straightening jacket, and inspecting keys at the end of the baggage scan belt, effectively preventing rest of line from collecting scanned items and moving to the gate. Wonder if stuffy businessman is related to rude and ugly man in Istanbul.
• 1426 – Buy a sandwich. Am disappointed to see that sandwich counter will only accept Euro notes, as have plethora of Euro coins. Resignedly use visa card to purchase sandwich.
• 1432 – Sit in “wireless internet area” and turn on computer. Computer fails to recognize wireless internet availability. Decided to type up trip notes for later upload to blog.
• 1504 – Realize plane is leaving any second, rush to gate.
• 1507 – Sit at departure gate.
• 1628 – Board plane, with no explanation of delay.
• Lose one hour.
• 1750 – Arrive in London.
• 1817 – Sit in new waiting area, continue working on computer.
• 1904 – Computer dies from lack of battery power.
• 1907 – Wander around the airport, check email.
• 1940 – Board plane.
• 2010 – Wait patiently for plane to leave.
• 2035 – Plane finally leaves.
• 2100 – Watch Hitch and Ocean’s Twelve.
• Lose 5 hours.
• 2245 – Arrive in Washington, D.C.
• 2255 – Board “moving lounge”.
• 2301 – Get in customs line.
• 2314 – Go through customs.
• 2316 – Pick up luggage.
• 2318 – See Mom and Janie in the arrivals area.
• 2359 – Arrive home. At last.
