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October 27, 2004
Stupid People Need Your Empathy Too
As my dear, dear friend La notes, "Stupid people need your empathy too."
This, I suppose is true. However, it would make things much easier if these people KNEW they were stupid. Currently, we have to tip-toe around, pretending to be interested in inane things they say, nod agreeably when they make asanine justifications, etc.
I guess this is where my new intention to be "sensitive" would come in.
Now, I would like to clarify. When I say "stupid", I don't mean people who are "less intelligent". No, no, no. I fully recognize that people have different talents and abilities--and not all of them can be directly quantified into categories of intelligence. La, for instance, has the most amusing spelling gaffes, but can provide encouragement like nobody's business and she always remembers people's birthdays. I can read at an amazing rate and have an almost photographic memory, but cannot draw to save my life and consistently forget people's birthdays.
Instead, when I say "stupid" I mean people who just act in stupid ways. Any of the following might suffice:
* Person "A" walks into class 45 minutes late on a regular basis. S/he misses the introduction to the lecture, then asks the MOST BASIC questions during the Q&A session. These questions have been clearly addressed both in the reading (which should have been done before the class) and at the beginning of the lecture. Person "A" then has trouble getting the concept, and asks several follow-up questions, taking valuable time away from students who have intelligent questions to ask.
* Person "B" consistently shows up at pot-luck events with nothing to share. Then, this person has the audacity to criticize the food that has been graciously provided!
* Person "C" goes out several times a week, partaking of alcohol, appetizers, and desserts. Then, s/he complains that rent is too expensive, that going to the movies is too expensive, that their paycheck is too low, etc. There is never enough money at the end of the month and credit card debt mounts, causing more stress and anxiety--leading to more evenings out, complaining about money over a plate of $12 pasta.
It's hard to generate empathy for people like this. And it's not people who make these mistakes once, but people who commit these errors again and again that makes me so frustrated.
On the other hand, I also want to strangle people who love process to the exclusion of anything productive, but that is a learning/thinking difference that I just need to get over. With as little bloodshed as possible.
