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October 08, 2004
More Fun, Less Stuff
I have been thinking a lot about consumerism, materialism, and general STUFF-ism lately. I guess it makes sense, given that the majority of my waking hours are spent dealing with sustainability issues. But now that
Before coming to Sweden, I got rid of a ton of "stuff". This stuff ranged from furniture and household goods (oh so many household goods!) to clothes, paperwork, and miscellaneous junk. Some stuff went to friends (who are expected to keep it for the year while I'm in Sweden, then return it when I get back), some stayed with my parents (I'm now occupying a huge portion of their attic), and some was given to charity. I never thought of myself as a materialistic person, but I was surprised at how hard it was to let some of it go.
Now, having lived in Sweden for six weeks with two suitcases full of clothes, a box of bed linens, and some new books and plants, I wonder why I thought I needed more? Why are we drawn to "stuff"? Here is my thinking.
- For me, having more stuff was a way to validate that I was successful. When I bought my condo in 2002, I was so proud that I had a full 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms of space--just for myself. I believed that having a huge apartment (which I couldn't even fill at the time) signaled that I was "on my way"--even if I didn't know where I was headed. And of course, over the next two years, I rapidly filled up the remaining space--to the point where 5 closets weren't enough to comfortably hold my clothes. With every new possession, I felt more "adult".
- When I didn't have a coherent plan for the future, buying stuff seemed to show that I was "settled." Even if I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, I knew that I could come home to a beautiful apartment, put on music from a huge variety of CDs, change into comfortable clothes from any of my 5 closets, and sit in any of the 4 rooms. It was a sense of security, particularly when I didn't have an inner vision of greater meaning.
- Family "stuff" made me feel connected. When my parents' moved from their home in Virginia up to their current Bethesda house, my mom got rid of a lot of stuff. I rescued a carload of things--many of them REALLY nice--and brought them back to my house. I had crystal vases, sterling silver platters, obis, tablecloths, holiday garlands, etc. Having things from my family (even if I never used them) made me feel a sense of continuity.
- It's fun to shop for new things. What else can I say? Rather than volunteer my time, I prefer to have lunch with friends and go to the mall. It's a great way to bond with girlfriends, it creates a shared sense of purpose with boyfriends (you can see just how bad their tastes really are), and it fufills some deep-seated need (perpetuated by advertisers) that I NEED the latest gadget.
So now that I understand the reasons why I like my "stuff", I should be able to rationally analyze which of these motives is good (and worth conserving) and which is bad (and needs to be discarded). Looking back over this list, it seems that #3 (family stuff) seems like the most acceptable reason for accumulating things. But is it really? Does having a set of silver platters make me closer to my family?
Sigh. Reading back over this, I feel a growing sense of unease--like I might possibly have to go through another purging when I get back. For some things, I definitely will, including:
- Clothes. I gave nearly half of my clothing away to charity before coming to Sweden. Of the remaining wardrobe, approximately half came to Sweden with me, and the other half was stored in my parents' attic. I wear nearly ALL of these clothes at least once a year (excluding formal business attire, I wear most clothes several times a year). So, in one sense, I have definitely paired down my wardrobe to an acceptable level--there is nothing that I simply don't wear. This, for me, is a big accomplishment. But...it's not enough. I've realized that a LOT of the clothing I brought with me to Sweden hasn't been worn yet. Not that I won't wear it, but it's not in the "regular rotation". So, my new goal is to, once again, halve my wardrobe. Looking around at how other people in the world use their clothing (it's not uncommon for people to wear their clothing two days in a row), I realize that my good work this summer was just a first step. And, when I seriously consider it, I think that weeding down the shoes will be the more difficult task--I do love the shoes.
- Household items. I just don't need the boxes and boxes of kitchen, dining, and living room accessories that are stored in my parents' attic right now (or residing in my friends' homes). It boggles my mind when I think about all the production capacity, natural resources, and money that went into the manufacturing and transportation of these items. No, they definitely have to go. This project might have to wait until Christmas, as it will be more difficult to sort through.
- Furniture. Here is where things get sticky. Most of my stuff has been dispersed among my friends, who have generously offered to keep my stuff for the year. Some of it I will definitely want back (assuming I come back to the US after my time here in Sweden), like my bed, my dresser, my couch, etc. But I will only be looking for a 1-bedroom or studio apartment or condo--not a full-size place like I had before. So, in one sense, I would like to "donate" these items to my friends. On the other hand, they may not want to keep them forever, and I may need to collect them and then have a massive yard sale. This is something that will need to wait until spring. At that point, I'll know where I'm headed after this graduate program is over.
So, that's my plan. I can't express what a sense of freedom it is to purge myself of extraneous items!
On the other hand, I need to be honest with myself and acknowledge that I have bought a number of things here in Sweden--expensive things, like a new bike (when a used one would have sufficed), a rain jacket (when there were cheaper ones available), plants (that keep dying on me and need to be replaced), a new mobile phone (which is only used when my parents' call me), and others. While I am certainly living with less, I'm not as frugal as I'd like to think. But it's a process, and I'm definitely learning that the payoff for purging far outweighs the intial pangs of regret at giving "stuff" away.
I wonder if my friends would be interested in doing a massive garage sale this winter or summer. We could get rid of the things that are holding us back from our magnificent destinies, and agree to donate the proceeds to a worthy cause. Or maybe my family could do that--we certainly have enough stuff for several families worth of people! Now that I realize how "less is more" (a concept my dad tried to drill into my head for years), I want to share it with everyone!
